What was the funniest counsel/encouragement you rec'd from an elder ???

by run dont walk 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  dobby

  We had a talk about the dangers of "Tae-Bo". It's this exercise regime that is based on martial arts and boxing moves. The guy who designed it sells tapes through infomercials. The thing is, it's really for exercise it doesn't teach you how to be a boxer, etc.

  Anyway, I had the tape and was Tae-boin' my way to a svelte waist when it became a local needs part. The hysterical thing about the brother's talk was that he DIDN'T focus on the link to boxing/martial arts. His beef was with the Tao symbol that was on the packaging and that the guy who teaches it says something about a "higher power" in the intro. Basically he was worried about a spiritistic/false religious link. What a joke!
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  Sunspot

  We live three houses away from an Elder...about 1/4 mile up the road. When my oldest daughter was dating, she and her intended used to spend a lot of time at this Elder's home......and they had to be chaperoned to get from the Elder's house to our house to bring her home.

  A few times when a chaperone wasn't available....she would phone me and we had to TIME them from the moment they left there to the moment they arrived here......all to be "theocratic". (GAG)

  Annie
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  Bibbitybobbityboo

  This wasn't directed to me personally but a friend of mine was counseled because you could see the outline of thong underwear under her skirt. I guess it was a cream colored skirt and her undies were a darker color. Another sister was offended (I think it was because her husband couldn't take his eyes off my friends ass) and took it to the elders who pulled my friend in the backroom over it.

  I also remember a local needs talk about doing aerobics. They said sisters should be careful because a lot of the exercises put them in sexually suggestive positions or some sort of nonsense like that. The same brother who gave that talk once commented that sisters shouldn't wear tight sweaters because it gave the brothers 'ideas'. I think he was eventually disfellowshipped for adultery... Must have been the fault of those sisters doing aerobics in tight sweaters!!
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  termite 35

  Got 'advised' not to wear skirts that hugged your bum- the men's trousers did but that was ok...um..funny that.

  Also got told breast feeding 'not appropriate' at Tuesday book study as others were sitting 'too close' to me ???...(carried on of course )

  Got advised not to watch' morris dancing' or to let my daughters use tampax...

  Was 'invited' into a ' casual' conversation about the wrongs of oral sex just before my study started one day...

  Was 'advised' to put a nappy on my baby during study at my own house, as he toddled about between changes; the woman I studied with said he may fall and get something (what??? ) in' a very painful place ' ???!

  what are these people on???
• 

  Faraon

  Termite,

  Got advised not to watch' morris dancing' or to let my daughters use tampax...

  xcuse my ignorance. What is "morris dancing"

  My daughters love swimming. My 11-year-old started menstruating a couple of months ago. I was adviced to ask her to wear tampons if she wanted to swim during those days. My JW ex nixed it saying she was too young for it. What reason did they give you for not wearing tampax? No need for an answer. I was just wondering if this was a JW thing or if this is the norm for young girls.
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  Reborn2002

  • Do not wear colored dress shirts to meetings, it is displaying too much concern for fashion, may stumble others, and is not Christian-like.
  • Do not have your sideburns lower than the bottom of your ear. This is a sign of a rebellious attitude and not in tune with proper dress and grooming.
  • Do not watch Married With Children or The Simpsons, they are Satan's tools to influence you to commit immoral acts, and we want to be "no part of this world."

  Jehovah's Witnesses are dumbazzes.
• 

  cruzanheart

  Are American JW's more paranoid then British ones??

  Yes, if they're elders. I had a British elder highly recommend the movie "The Full Monty" which amused me when I finally got to see it! I love it, it's hilarious, but it would have mortally offended all the straight-arrow elders I know around here. Or maybe it's just a Plano white bread conservative yuppie thing . . . .

  Nina
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  shamus

  WTF??

  I was counseled b/c my head was "shaved".... the elders thought that I looked like a skinhead! I sure didn't listen to them about that one......

  Was counseled for watching the Simpsons.... an elder who used to live upstairs from me watched every thursday married with children... I used to go up there, and we'd have a good laugh...
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  gitasatsangha

  "Brother if you can get your hours back up to the national average you could have the priveledge of cleaning up outside the hall on sunday afternoons."

  I deliberately kept my hours down after that.
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  termite 35

  Hi Faraon

  Well..! Morris dancing is'nt just one bloke 'doing his thang'

  I guess the best way to describe it is that it's an eccentric English dance.

  A group of men, sometimes 6 or so, sometimes hordes; will decend on an English village at a fete or country fayre and dance around dressed in white straw hats with flowers on, voluminous shirts , stockings and breeches with bells at the knee.They each have a large stick which they clack together with another dancers stick as they meet them in the process of their 'moves'.

  They're usually accompanied by an accordian and have often drunk too much before starting.

  Don't ask me why they choose to do this- but people who watch it usually laugh aloti'll try and find a pic for you

  The jw's don't like it as The origin is thought to be 'pagan'; dancing to ward of evil spirits or to do with the harvest; as most of the carnivals and strange apple based festivals are around here.All good fun .

  I think Tampax too are pagan- probably something to do with the blood issue..

  I think you're right- it's a jw thing- it dos'nt matter what age girls use them- it's the 'proof of virginity' madness that the jw's worry about around here....