If you were writing to almost anyone but a JW, I would say, "Go ahead, you're doing a good thing by sending such a letter." But, generally, a JW will only laugh at such a letter and share it with others who will also laugh at you and consider your expression of love to be a pathetic "weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth" due to what they feel you have lost. She might even write back and say that you can be friends again on one condition: You have to "humble yourself" and beg the elders for forgiveness so that possibly you will be accepted back into "God's organization." As I said above, maybe I'm wrong. But I've written letters similar to yours, only to be mocked or ignored by the addressees who were once among my best friends. Then, as the years went by and I heard from others who left JWs, I became aware of how my letters had been ridiculed. Due to my personal experience, I think it might be best to give thought to the fact that a JW mind is not going to accept any kindnesses or expressions of love from someone they feel has turned traitor to their one and only owner and master, the JW organization.
Herk
---- I have to agree with the poster above- while i hope that it strikes a cord in this person, but in my exp this rarely happens, in fact the way Herk describes the JW mindset is exactly on "Q"
due to the High Intensity of Indoctrination, rarely will a jw view such a letter from a "Weak, Unspiritual, Borderline Apostate" as anything other than one who is trying to "Pull me away from Jah and his Clean People"
Beyond the personal satisfaction of knowing that we have made the attempt to help someone, that is about as far as it goes in most cases- and the reason is simple
this person recieves a constant diet of "look out for apostates, look out for those who are weak" week in and week out - and for us to drop a letter which in most case will be a one time deal after 12 yrs of a steady diet of WT indoctrination- it is very difficult to penetrate that mental wall that wt has built around them
while i wish that this person would respond back- don't hold your breath- but at least realize you made the effort
as one of my closest jw buddies told me when he heard that i had quit- I asked him why didn't he call since he had known me for over 20yrs and to be a person who didn't do foolish stuff always trying to be balance- you would have thought that one would have said:
"I got to talk to James and find out from the "Horses' mouth" what the deal is, my man much have a "REASON""
YET not one of my bethel buddies or former elders i served even Asked Why I left-
instead he told me He just assumed that i was swallowed up by satan and there was nothing he could have shown me in the bound volumes that would have changed my mind
while we long to hear happy endings when someone sends a letter the fact of the matter is in almost every single case we don't- and it's all due to the fact that wt has spent yrs preparing the avg jw for the day when a "Friend" will ask them to question the very mouth pc of god and they shut down faster than an ATM bank machine on the 3rd failed attempt with the wrong PIN number
I have seen former jw spend hours trying to compose JUST THE RIGHT WORDS, Xerox tons of wt doctrinal failures only to have it thrown back into thier faces- that is why i tell folks all the time
take the time to educate yourself on the power that High Control groups have over their followers- for it truly helps us to understand why extending alot of energy, time and emotion into a person who is NOT YET READY to deal with the big issue can be so draining-
it is not amazing how the former jw in this thread has thought about this person for some 12yrs and is moved to reach out, ---yet the JW who is suppose to be A CHRISTIAN has not lifted a pen , phone, email to contact this former jw-
and why should they - they are told that this former jw has left jah, don't appreicate spiritual things and knows FULL well that they need to seek out the help of the elders if they want to RE-ESTABLISH a meaning friendship
no friend of jah, means no friend of mine is the mindset that jw have and due to that mindset it is very difficult to reach out to them-
but maybe at least the seed will be planted
i recall talking to my mother-in l
