I gave the elders some ammo to use

by atacrossroads 58 Replies latest jw friends

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  problemaddict 2

  I think you have been given good advise. Brothers want to talk to you? Well don't they have your number? Why are they calling you?

  Don't run from it. Just play dumb.

  We want to meet with you. Why? No thank you. If they insist, ask if this is a committee issue and what the charge is. If it then comes out that you were having dinner with a disfellowshipped relative, you should ask directly who reported it. Once again, this takes place before you say it did or did not happen. this is important, because it gets them to admit and name a person spying on you during lunch, and reveals the fact that they did not follow Matthew 18.

  Ask them directly, if they told this person to come to you directly in the spirit of Matthew 18.

  At that point you can say, well guys, it was a business lunch and nothing spiritual was discussed, so you can lower the flag and relax. I won't be discussing it, but rest assured I was not in deriliction of the direction. You brothers however could have avoided this by having this person reach out to me directly like the scriptures clearly lay out. Why would you not do that?

  then thats it.
  
• 

  Billzfan23

  Chances are good that there will be a "marking" talk in the local needs that calls you out without directly mentioning you - no biggie....
• 

  under the radar

  Her taking your picture was creepy, but I doubt it was actually illegal. Of course, if someone was recording your conversation without your knowledge and consent, that's an entirely different matter.

  I'm glad you didn't confront her and grab the phone out of her hands. Like someone else said, you yourself could have gotten in trouble, maybe charged with assault or theft by taking.

  Anyway, the tattletale didn't follow "theocratic procedure." If she was truly concerned for your spirituality, she should have first spoken to you about it privately, not gone running straight to the elders.

  I recommend just telling the elders to take a hike and mind their own business, though possibly in more polite terms. Necessary family business means whatever you want it to mean, and you don't have to explain it to a bunch of busybodies.
  
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  Splash

  Like oubliette said, private, necessary business.

  No need to answer any more questions.
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  BeautifulMind

  The whole picture taking part is creepy. I mean, that's a whole other level!
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Two words: necessary business.

  Add "family" to it -- "Necessary FAMILY Business". Just say there were some necessary family matters that had to be resolved. The WT back in the early 1980's ('81 or '82, one of the Oct issues) spells it all out in detail, and leaves the "loophole" of NFB. Of course, WTS is upset that people are abusing this loophole and thus they have been "hammering" that JWs should avoid DFd family members too.
  

  Go back and read the post by ProblemAddict2. It is spot on!

  .Decide NOW if you want to avoid or accept being DFd. That will make a difference in how you handle their inquiry.

  Good luck,

  Doc

  The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!
  
• 

  steve2

  Hey, girlfriend, if this doesn't help you grow balls, nothing will!

  Stare your opponent in the eye and say kindly but firmly: "I was having necessary contact over private family matters that I am not at liberty to divulge".

  If they insist you play their game, please make sure you don't walk right into their snare.
• 

  flipper

  ATACROSSROADS- I'm so sorry that you have such caustic and poisonous JW relatives. I have some as well who would probably just as soon see me dead and thank " Jehovah " for it. Try to remember they are just a bunch of mind controlled jack-asses repeating the company line of WT leaders. They are in the wrong- not us. Please know and be aware that we are here for you, O.K. ? Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  Virgochik

  She took the pic so when she ran tattling to the elders, she could prove it to them. See, looky! Do you see that, there sits atacrossroads, dining with Cousin Disfellowshipped, nyuk nyuk.

  I'd be so ticked off! Nobody has a right to take anyone else's photo without permission. Worse still is her motive, presumably to offer proof to the elders which could shore up a case against you. Sick!
• 

  Beth Sarim

  Taking pictures of you with your cousin. Creepy.

  Paparazzi everywhere. Living life on a knife's edge. A minor infraction like eating with your ''blood relative'' can subject you to possible df'ing and being shunned by lifelong friends and immediate family.