What Should I Say?

cookiemaster

I need a bit of advice. I've been PIMO for a long time and fading more and more. I occasionally attend for family but never give any answers or actively participate in any way. I report some fake hours to not draw attention. Just sit there and play on my phone and the minute the meeting is over I leave for my car. Thing is, we now have the CO visit and he told me he wishes to speak to me. An "encouragement" visit, which will likely be an interrogatory on why I don't participate with answers in the meetings and my general apathy.

I honestly don't know what to say. I can't say I just don't give a f*ck anymore because that would get me in trouble and my still devout family members will not take that kindly. So I need to appear to still be mentally but somehow justify my fading and lack of involvement. I thought I should say I suffer from social anxiety but that sounds kinda stupid. Another excuse could be work, no time to prepare for meetings, etc. IDK. Do you guys have any ideas?

The Fall Guy

You have a PM

KiddingMe

I would say, less is more. I dont think social anxiety sound stupid. You could kinda approach it as if your not really sure what’s going on but you don’t feel your normal self, and experience anxiety lately...from life in general, work, etc.- maybe its depression but you just not sure.

Keep focus on your appreciation for his care and concern. I think most the time they need to feel like they’ve encouraged you.

cookiemaster

Thank you both!

I said social anxiety kinda sounds stupid because it's clear to them that I am able to socialize just fine. I do have some social anxiety and always had but I am able to overcome it in most situations. Just thought it wouldn't seem believable in my case to have it as an excuse for total disinterest and apathy.

sparrowdown

I think they only get spooked by your behavior if you act cranky and sullen, if you remain happy enough or neutral that seems to delay concern for a while.

My advice would be to just hold your ground politey confident. Non-aceptance of invitations with a "thankyou for the offer maybe next time" seems to work and in the end they seem to stop asking.

truth_b_known

They won't be honest enough with you to tell you the truth. The truth is they don't care about you. They just want to find out where you stand. They are going to force your hand and ask "Are you in or are you out?"

If you are not ready to completely cut ties, be disfellowshipped, or marked you should come up with something elaborate and make it believable. Be ready to give an Academy Award level performance to sell your story.

You best be ready to sell that you -

1. Love Jehovah

2. Love Jehovah's organization

JakeM2012

Tell you have irritable bowel syndrome and find the brown spots on your pants embarrassing.

stuckinarut2

Great advice above.

May I ask how old you are? Are you still under your parents roof?

I would also add that you should be happy and appear genuinely open. Don't look like you are being closed.

But, simply say things like "Thanks for the chat. Its been nice. So how are YOU going brother__? Are you keeping well? How are the visits going? your family? etc..."

By flipping the dynamic of the conversation from that of you being the "child-like" one to being one who is showing interest in him, you will mess with the power play.

Be happy and then take your leave.

Don't commit to anything that leaves you uncomfortable.

And remember that you have us all here! PM or comment anytime! Many of us have been in that exact situation.

_Morpheus

Sure its easy.... the CO has limited time to squeeze visits in. He does it really as filler so he dosent have to do a lot of door to door crap.

Your busy. Whatever day whatever time they try to set up, you have something going on. Hasve a few handy excuses ready. Work doctor whatever... but your busy. Catch him next go round.

See? Your overthinking it a bit, really. Its not that deep. I doubt anyone has you pegged as an apostate. They noticed you slowing down and figured they would try to motivate you to full cultyness. Duck and weave and this wont be an issue

cookiemaster

Thank you for all the replies. They truly are helpful. Unfortunately Morpheus, they do have me pegged as an apostate. You see, years ago when I started fading and still was stupid enough to have JW friends on social media, I made a comment to a worldly friend's post about how I can't wait to get my family out of this cult. Of course, a JW friend saw it and turned me in to the elders. Fortunately, the account wasn't exactly with my real name, so I denied I was the one that made the comment, but ever since they've been conducting periodic witch trials against me.

Every few months the gestapo comes for another round of interrogations, and it was all fine because I kept denying everything and kept up appearances to be a regular JW. Lately however, I have not felt like keeping up appearances in meetings anymore, so now if they'll ask me why I don't comment or go to field service, I'm not sure what the best response it not to get all the alarms ringing, as I've started making a tiny bit of progress waking up my parents and other JW family members and don't want to be branded as an apostate and be instantly dismissed by everyone.

I can postpone the meeting them but they'll search for me at home and keep insisting. It's what they do. The elders in this congregation are a bit more gestapo than your average elders.

What Should I Say?

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