increase the efficiency of your prayers

by peacefulpete 12 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    According to Zoroastrianism, sex was such a sacred thing that prayers uttered while copulating are 10,000 times more effective. "Oh God Oh God". btw According to authorities the Jewish prohibitions against homsexuality and bestiality were spawned in Persia, not for moral reasons but because the male seed was seen as wasted.

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    Well there would be no need to pray ; speak to me direct

  • Faraon
    Faraon

    Peaceful,

    You come with very interesting posts. I wish you'd tell us where you get the information. I don't want to shoot my mouth off and not be able to back it up.

  • Tyler
    Tyler
    DAD:
    There are Jews in the world.
    There are Buddhists.
    There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
    There are those that follow Mohammed, but
    I've never been one of them.
    I'm a Roman Catholic,
    And have been since before I was born,
    And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
    They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
    You don't have to be a six-footer.
    You don't have to have a great brain.
    You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
    A Catholic the moment Dad came,
    Because
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.
    CHILDREN:
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.
    GIRL:
    Let the heathen spill theirs
    On the dusty ground.
    God shall make them pay for
    Each sperm that can't be found.
    CHILDREN:
    Every sperm is wanted.
    Every sperm is good.
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighbourhood.
    MUM:
    Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
    Spill theirs just anywhere,
    But God loves those who treat their
    Semen with more care.
    MEN:
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    WOMEN:
    If a sperm is wasted,...
    CHILDREN:
    ...God get quite irate.
    PRIEST:
    Every sperm is sacred.
    BRIDE and GROOM:
    Every sperm is good.
    NANNIES:
    Every sperm is needed...
    CARDINALS:
    ...In your neighbourhood!
    CHILDREN:
    Every sperm is useful.
    Every sperm is fine.
    FUNERAL CORTEGE:
    God needs everybody's.
    MOURNER #1:
    Mine!
    MOURNER #2:
    And mine!
    CORPSE:
    And mine!
    NUN:
    Let the Pagan spill theirs
    O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
    HOLY STATUES:
    God shall strike them down for
    Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
    EVERYONE:
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is good.
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighbourhood.
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite iraaaaaate!
  • Princess
    Princess

    There is a christian book store in town that has "prayer assistance available, open 'til 9:30" or something like that, on their billboard. I should print that and give it to them. I bet that isn't the kind of assistance they are giving.

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    Faraon..I found that jem in a book called "Mythologies Last Gods" the author cites the Zend Avesta 4:37:130(and others) translated by F.Muller. While the book as awhole has some ideas that I doubt are magority views he does a neat job with separating the E,J,P and R contributions to the OT.

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    the author is William Harwood 1992

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Tyler.... uhhhh, is that an original piece? (whatever, it's very creative...)

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    A branch of hinduism advocates tantra sex, which has a similar idea. Though, i don't think that they are praying to a god. They play w energy.

    SS

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Tyler, that song/hymn is hilarious!

    Brummie

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