It's very hard to know where you stand when you've grown up as a JW because on one hand you can see the holes in their beliefs and on the other, there's a nagging "what if they're right" feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever something noteworthy (negative) is going on in the world.
There are two things coming into play here "Confirmation Bias" and "Frequency Illusion/Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon" :
Confirmation bias:The tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of ones existing beliefs/theories. (beliefs you learned from JW's)
Example: In 1957 when the first satellite was launched into space, JW's said it confirmed the Bible's end time prediction that there'd be fearful signs from the heavens in the last days. Every year before and since then, there have been world events that could be interpreted as the end and every JW has shaken in his/her boots when they've occurred.
Frequency Illusion/Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon: A cognitive bias which describes our tendency to see new information, names, ideas or patterns 'everywhere' after they're brought to our attention.
Rather than seeing earthquakes, hurricanes, diseases, food shortages as isolated incidents, for the past 100+ years, JW's have been on the lookout for signs and have shoehorned every unfavorable global occurrence into being signs of the time of the end. They even view normalcy or favorable occurrences (peace and security) as a sign of the end. If mankind accomplishes something good, they say it's because Satan is trying to mislead them into thinking they don't need God.
My advice:
Do your best to abide by the rules of the house and be as pleasant as possible. Your family undoubtedly loves you and has your best interest at heart.
Say one more prayer and tell God that you are willing to do whatever it is he wants you to do but ask him to make it clear to you that he exists and what it is he want from you. Then leave it in his hands.
Go about your life being the most decent upright noblest, healthiest and prettiest person you can be. Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you're not a JW, that the rules no longer apply and you now have license to be immoral, dishonest and do as you please. Take care of your health, improve yourself, learn new things, do good for others, be honest and do the right thing no matter what. Stay fresh and young for as long as you can. Your life doesn't have to become a train wreck if you choose not to be a JW and it doesn't have to be miserable if you stay. Many JW's find a way to make things work for them. It's only a religion and you can choose how seriously you take it.
There is no emergency here. Take a wait and see attitude. If there is a God and he does in fact have good things in store for mankind, there's no reason an honest upright and decent person like the one you're striving to be, shouldn't be a part of it too. Just don't let this situation make you sneaky and dishonest or bitter. You'll end up not liking yourself and your opinion of you is the most important opinion of all.
