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EMTmom

I never really post here, but I read ALL the time. I need to vent to someone and who better to vent to then all of you?

A little bit of background info. My husband and I were both raised in the "truth". We got married when he was 21 and I was 18. My Mom died when I was 9 because her uterus ruptured while she was 7 months pregnant and she refused blood.

I had questions before, but when this blood doctrine changed, I had had enough. It took 8 months of no meeting attendance (after being fairly regular) and my husband begging, before the Elders came to visit me. I explained my problems with the blood doctrine (I just chose that one, since it hit close to home) they had no answers, and I haven't seen them since. My husband is still going with out four young children.

This past Monday, my husband had emergency surgery for his appendix. It almost ruptured. Not one phone call or visit from any of the Elders. They all know. Many of their wives have been up to visit. During service of course. But, not one Elder. One is retired and lives 2 blocks from the hospital and was one that I talked to about the blood. I am so upset I can't think straight and I am going to have it out with them. I don't care at this point what they do to me. Of course, my husband didn't have his Advance Medical Directive done, so had something went wrong, it would have been on me. Now, I hate the rule on blood. I think it is the most stupid thing ever. But I would never force it on my husband against his will. I could never do that to him. I know how he feels, I was once there myself. But, it is not fair for him to leave that to me. Especially since I have had such a problem with the blood issue in the past. I just can't believe no elder showed up to protect him from his spiritually weak wife.

Anyway, I've vented enough for now. I just hope this experience opens his eyes to their ways. I feel bad for him. I hate to see his feelings hurt like this, but maybe this is what it will take for him to see "the light".

Thanks for listening,

Heather

StinkyPantz

((Heather))

Have you discussed what you'd do if your children needed blood?

SixofNine

gimme a break, the boy's not even carrying his card! He passive-aggressively wants to live! Choose life even if he hates you for it. To say "he'll get over it" would be an understatement. Besides, your children can't afford his theocratic materialism.

The elders are simply afraid of you. Oh, and busy too.

Hope you're innoculating those kids?

EMTmom

Well, if I have my say, they will get blood. They are not adults, so I would not be stepping on their toes. I am sure that would be a huge fight with my husband, but too bad.

As far as his card, he carries that. Just not that ridiculous 4 page paper they have now. That thing is insane. And while he did tell them "no blood" he was also doped up on morphine. I know how the Doctors work. I work with them everyday and I clearly remember what happened with my Mom. Yeah, the person being sliced and diced doesn't want blood, but that doesn't mean they don't come out to the family and try to convince them to change their minds. Been there, done that. Not that I blame them though. My Mom's Dr. refuses to work on JW's anymore.

Yep, the elders are too busy. Kinda pathetic!

Funny, the hospital Chaplain was able to sit down and have a nice chat with him. LOL

happyout

Heather,

Just wanted to say I understand your dilemna. It seems to me that your husband put you in a terrible spot, and you should do everything within your power to force him not to do it again.

I admire your stance for your children, and I strongly suggest you take some legal steps to ensure your wishes are carried out, and they recieve blood in case of emergency before you get to the scene. If it happened that your husband arrived first, and did not allow it, you could lose a child to their stupid policy.

Stay strong,

Happyout

EMTmom

Just wanted to say I understand your dilemna. It seems to me that your husband put you in a terrible spot, and you should do everything within your power to force him not to do it again.

Thanks! I just got through telling him that tomorrow he had a job to do and that was to fill that stupid paper out if he really felt that strongly about it. I was probably a lot harsher then I needed to be, but that is the only way I can get through to him.

I do need to do something legal, I just don't know what steps to take. Since I work in the ER, I have made it clear to all the doctors I work with my wishes. But, it could happen where they would be take to a different hospital. I need to find out what I need to do in that case.

You guys are pretty great. I may come out from lurking more often.

Heather

Joyzabel

welcome to the board ((EMTmom))

I'm glad you felt comfortable to vent here with us.

The blood issue is such an emotional issue. Obviously, it's not rational! Have you seen the web page by LeeElder? He does some great work on JW's and the blood issue. Also in Crisis of Conscience Ray did a good job explaining the sillliness of the blood stand. Hope you can get through to your hubby. Be patient and take your time. (nothing is coming around the corner or "this year"!)

Welcome,

j2bf

ps, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. WOW to lose her at your tender age of 9. cyber hugs to you

DJ

Hi Heather,

Thanks for sharing your story. I know what you mean about the 4 page blood thing. My dad has had brain cancer for 2 years now and I have seen this riduculous excuse of a blood policy firsthand. It is hypocritical and unjustifiable and just plain stupid. This is not of God. The website www.ajwrb.com has moved but should be able to be found in a few days according to Lee. I am so sorry that you had to grow up without your mom. She probably didn't know about this 4 page thing either. Most jw's don't. I am giving you a link to my story when I first posted here a year ago because we have a bit in common over the whole issue. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/34889/1.ashx As far as the elders not visiting...ha...they rarely come to see my dad and when they do it is to eat. They haven't helped my family one iota....they even leave us with the dishes......lol... Take care Heather, you are on your way out of this lie. love, dj

rocketman

Hi Heather,

I am sorry to read about the problems you are having. I hope things work out okay for your husband and you. As for the elders, yes, I'd guess, like some others here, that they are somewhat afraid of talking with you and instead are content to have their wives do their work for them in your case.

EMTmom

Wow DJ, thank you for sharing your story. Isn't it amazing how clear things look after you take off the rose colored glasses?

I feel so bad for my husband. He has been clinging to the "truth" for some time. I think it is because of his parents, but he denies it. See, I was in the hospital with preterm labor for three days. No one came to see me, except for my DF'd stepmom, sister and sister in law. The rest of my friends were "worldly". Yes, all these people could drive the 2 hours to my hospital except for the "friends". Had I had my daughter early, the hospital would have forced the blood issue, yet no one cared to show up. And that was when I was a good little Dub.

My husband saw that and felt bad, but said it was because we were so far away. Not quite sure what the excuse was as to why no one could help with my three boys while I was on strict bedrest for 8 weeks. Hmmm. Well, no one except for my evil family and friends.

I just hope that this is the beginning of the end for my husband and that religion. I'm not holding my breath, but it is a nice thought.

And I do think I scared the elders the last time they talked to me. See, we were talking about the blood issue and they had the nerve to say that I "had issues" because of my Mom. Uh, do ya think? I came up for air on that one and they soon left. The one actually told me that his wife at one time needed blood and they stood firm and *poof* she got all better. And how is that supposed to make me feel better? My Mom wasn't good enough? Because she stood firm too and she bled to death on the OR table. Good reasoning there.

You guys have been great. I've gotten more support here then I have ever gotten from the so called "friends"

Heather

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