All hell has broke loose (page 4)

jws

Well he has been having sex with his girlfriend the baptized pioneer elders daughter

Probably doesn't matter, but I'm a little confused. Is the girl a baptised pioneer who has an elder for a father? Or is she not a pioneer? Her father's both a pioneer and an elder? Who's the pioneer? And also wondering, are you an ex-JW? Or were you never one?

If she's the pioneer, wow! I always thought of them as being the most brainwashed robots they had. Real holier-than-thou types. For her to date an non-baptised guy is surprising, and even more so to let it get as far as having sex.

Back in the congregation I was in until my mid-teens, we had a guy who did *something* to an elder's daughter - probably a lot of horizontal grinding with the clothes on (according to the "needs" talk afterwards). He got DFed, she got reproof. He turned out having a pretty moral life, she stayed a JW, married some dork (probably under threat) and ended up cheating on him. She even approached this DFed guy and tried to have sex with him, but he (though single) turned her down because she was married. Leaves me wondering who was the aggressor in the original incident.

While her father may not be happy with her, he may use his elder status to protect her from being DFed. Your son, on the other hand, not being baptised can't be DFed. I forget what they can do to him. I think there's a form of "shunning" that's not the same type of shunning as being DFed. As I remember it, people might decide he's "bad association" and may say hi to him, but stay away socially. As for her (assuming she is the pioneer one), she's going to fall a lot harder. Even if she gets off light, she's going to have to stop pioneering. That's a status symbol for JWs and having it taken away hurts.

Like others, I'm glad they didn't get married just to find out what sex is like. Straight out of high school is way too young for that. Hopefully your son's trouble will cause a seperation between him and the borg and he can free himself. Hopefully, she can too.

unbeliever

I agree don't let the elders meet with your son alone. If I were him I would not meet with them at all. They might try and go thru your wife and have her sit in the meeting but your son needs you to back him up. He's very fortunate to have you.

proplog2

Premarital sex is definitely a taboo among JW's. If you want to comit fornication and you want to be encouraged to fornicate then you are in the wrong organization.

But I defninitely believe you should be able to confess your sins to whomever you feel comfortable with. You should also be able to go to God in prayer without any human agent and confess your sins.

I am against fornication as a practice. It has a weakening effect on society, family, marriage and it can be emotionally damaging to some.

Yesterdays Child

Yes JWS I was raised in the truth but was df when I was 24 a long time ago. She is the pioneer an my son knows I will always have his best intrest .

Dawn

In fact - you could refuse for your son to appear at a JC at all! Since you are the head of the household and your son is a minor - by their own teaching he is under your headship and MUST obey you.

shera

I always thought of them as being the most brainwashed robots they had. Real holier-than-thou types.

Pioneers? I heard threw the grapevine , when I was in the KH,that many young JW's only pioneered to look good and it was easy to hide their double life.( I'm not saying this about all pioneers.)

A Paduan

It's a normal thing for your son, and his daughter, to be wanting to do.

I have a son going on fifteen, and he undersands that he isn't an "evil pariah" for a tendency to what is natural to most human beings on this whole planet.

At first when I read the thread I thought that if elders wanted to do any backrooming on my son I would physically kick their asses from china over to pakistan, and more

However, after considering the fact that he actually goes to that 'hall', it may be the best opportunity to take him to the 'backroom' yourself and tell him well - "Now you'll see who it is that you have been living among - this is what they say love means"

God help his girlfriend - I feel so sorry for people in such a place.

paduan (after a couple of XXXX)

Albatross

I am 60 and have four adult children. I cannot help but think of the lasting effects this will have on your son (as well as the girl), for I well know the lasting effects of the sweetheart I used to slip out from the school dances to walk in the woods with. Eventually we were doing a lot more than walking. And we knew nothing about safe sex.

I have found there is an emotional bond that comes with surrendering your virginity, whether you are a man or a woman. A bond which if not honored I believe diminishes self-respect. The older I get the more I think of those walks in the moonlight, and the more I wish I had told everyone to got to hell and pursued that girl, for I have found none (and there have been way too many women in my bed) who loved me as purely as she.

If my son did what yours has done, I would take him aside and tell him if he loved this girl, if she is in his heart, to do the honorable thing and step up and take her for his own. Be a man son, and don't let anything in this world get in your way. If her father stands in your way circumvent the man, if you can't, then stand up to him and tell him you love his daughter and you are going to be with her come hell or high-water.

And if the bastard moves her out of state to some relatives home far away where my son could not get to her, that is something the father will have to live with. Virginity is here for a reason. The emotional bond that takes place when we give it with love is here for a reason too. I believe we are meant to have only one mate forever. I know, I've had far more than my share. None, though they were exciting and had us zooming around the moon, were like the first. The first was clean and pure and sweet, the stuff of which life is made.

Dad, what do you think?

Yesterdays Child

Sounds good for some but a commitment from a teenager is a little much. So much life ahead and many more girls.

unique1

Well, he has graduated High School, so I am assuming he is 18 or close to it. At least he was smart enough to wait until they were consenting ADULTS and not 14 year olds. Plus he was safe. Sounds like you raised an intelligent child. I know it is hard to hear about your CHILD being sexually active, but they have to grow up sometime. Hope your wife will be able to deal with it all, she will probably get flack from the Cong as well.

All hell has broke loose

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