Forgiveness

by Freedom rocks 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  sparrowdown

  Sounds like a narcissist.

  Not much you can do with them except protect yourself.
• 

  Giordano

  Sounds like your his personal Priest. .......... he asks for your blessing/forgiveness. Then the tune starts up again.

  Without knowing any more about the issues in play............... my advice is to give him 5 Hail Mary's and 5 Our Father's......
• 

  Vanderhoven7

  Not a healthy relationship for you to continue in.
• 

  steve2

  Good point made in the OP.

  If forgiveness is to be even considered, let alone offered, it needs to be be backed up by changed behavior.

  Of what use is it for a violent man to beg his wife for forgiveness when he has not personally addressed his violence and changed his behavior - say by attending an anger management program and/or learning non-violent alternatives?

  And even then, forgiveness is not a "right"; it needs to be offered by the wronged party if and when they are ready. Interestingly, I always thought that when JWs talked about forgiveness, they implied a refusal to forgive was "unchristian" and harmful to the one refusing to forgive. Huh? No. It may be healthily empowering to withhold forgiveness when there is no evidence of remorse but an expectation they will be forgiven.

  "You must be forgiving"? Try saying that to a victim of violence who has suffered significant injuries and loss and whose perpetrator has never acknowledged their wrongdoing or taken remedial steps.
  
• 

  ttdtt

  Remember, forgiving is for YOUR SELF primarily.

  When you dont, and hold a grudge, you are letting someone rent space in your mind for free.

  Just hurts you.
  As was said - doent mean you have to trust or like the person.
• 

  Saethydd

  That’s not a healthy dynamic and you’re under no obligation to maintain a relationship that is causing you constant grief. Their is a difference between being forgiving and allowing someone to take advantage of your kindness. I would be especially wary of someone who believes their apology is all that is required to make things right and attempt to use guilt to manipulate you if you don’t comply. Manipulative people make poor friends.
• 

  days of future passed

  The WT had articles that always talked about how the nice people should forgive the insensitive, stubborn and mean JW's. They put the onus on the ones that did care about others to suck it up and "keep the peace" in the congregations, by always turning the other cheek.

  That encouraged some to expect forgiveness without saying it or by just giving a token Sorry. I took turning the other cheek as something a "good" person would do. So I did. But, found myself being taken advantage of also or finding myself silently fuming over having to forgive over and over again. The WT makes it a sin to not to forgive even when the person does it over and over again. Let's see, "how many times must I forgive my brother? Up to seventy seven times" The WT wants you to do it regardless. How many articles on taking to task the offenders? Probably zero. That is my guess.

  Don't allow others to guilt you into forgiving them and then letting them wipe their feet on you. Not good for you or them. I had a "friend" that started to break promises. It became more and more by my forgiving them. They just expected me to always be their friend even if they abused the meaning.
• 

  Freedom rocks

  They expected forgiveness from me and said I wasn't being Christian when I eventually said sorry means nothing if you carry on the act. If I ever made a mistake by saying something wrong though they played hell with me for days about it until they lost interest in the situation. They literally sucked the life out of me.

  The one good thing is coz I was was drained by them mentally and emotionally it also drained me spiritually and helped me wake up from the cult so I'm grateful to them for that. I've cut the person off from my life now and I'm so happy but their words about me not being forgiving enough still linger in my head coz I certainly don't want to drag any big issues into another relationship if I meet someone.

  Maybe my jw version of my conscience being in overdrive always looking for fault with myself all the time hasn't settled completely yet. They had a great way of making you feel guilty even for the slightest thing
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  Vanderhoven7

  Good for you Gal. Stick by your decision. Sounds like this is the kind of person that will not let you get away without harassment including heaping on more guilt. He knows what buttons to push. Be firm because as you know...freedom rocks.
• 

  venus

  What Sigfrid Mallozzi says is scripturally correct. (Hebrew 10:26). I have gone through the same experience. I just ignored the person, and person is still repeating the mistake.

  Past is gone and future would come; and moment between the two is life which always occurs in the now. We have to be concerned with this precious, present moment called now. It is too precious to be lost to anyone else.