Being Gay Is A Choice
by David Cornwell
A Different Perspective On The Old Argument
I choose to be gay! Have you ever heard a person make this statement? I may have heard one person say such a thing, although right off hand I can't remember who it might have been.
The question that always comes up in any discussion of gay rights is this: “Is being gay a choice, or is one born gay?” I'm tired of hearing this debate. I suppose it still is an important question in a personal way, because all of us have wondered why we are the way we are. Truthfully it was a very significant question in my own journey toward self-acceptance. But when one stops to think about it, that part of the journey is pretty pathetic. Why should one have to justify the way one is, one's attraction to the same sex, the way one feels about many things in life?
For many years I went through all the motions of trying to choose NOT to be gay. I prayed, I swore on bibles, I quoted scripture, I damned myself for my dreams, I dated females, and finally I married. I became a United Methodist minister. I was homophobic. I didn't like myself very much. Choosing to be a heterosexual male did not seem to work very well. Finally through a series of events, I came to the realization that being gay is who I am. It wasn't something for which I had to repent of or for which I should feel sorry. I eventually came out to a few people, then to a few more. Now many people know I'm gay, including my wife (to whom I still choose to be married), my children, my brothers, and some of my co-workers.
Choice didn't work so well before, but guess what: Now I choose to be gay! I make the choice full and free. I care not whether I was born this way or whether it is the cause of environment or poor parenting. The choice is mine and it is right. I am gay. I want to be gay. Pat Robertson, Pope Paul, or my bishop do not have the right to trifle with my choice. It is mine. Even if I were born with absolutely no pre-disposition to homosexuality, it is still my right to choose to be gay. Today I make that choice. I'm proud to make it.