I was essentially born into it. My parents were studying before I was a year old, and after 1 last Christmas and a token cupcake on my 1st birthday, they were in it full force. Still are, though all of their children left. I was in my early teens when I realized I didn't agree with it, but it took me 10 years to make my final exit.
How did you stuck in the JW borg ???????
by run dont walk 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Scooby
I got reeled in at age 20. Boyfriend at the time grew up in it and then witnessed to me. I thought it and he were the greatest things in the world. Instant Family, Instant father figure through strong willed, dominating husband. Grew up in very dysfunctional family so I could not wait to quit school, become a JW and get married!
You know what... Out of the choices I had at that time and my mental state... Believe it or not it was the Best deal for me AT THAT TIME. I really was close to self-destructing like my brother. I guess it a weird way.. it kept me a TINY bit sane. (GOD-How is that for Jacked UP?)
12 years later.........I am glad to be free now. Learning to live without the cult and without a husband. Hard but Real... and my own! I had so few coping skills when I was younger I NEEDED someone to take away the responsiblility.... I was so ripe for the taking. Now, I am alot smarter and getting counseling and reading like a crazy obsessed freak. Only left 6 months ago.... but I am doing so well.... although some days are still BAD.... They don't last quite as long.
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Dawn
((((Scooby))))) - keep reading and hang in there! I love your posts.
I was born into it - all the rest of my family is still in. Baptised at 13 - was DF'd at 19, reinstated (dumb mistake) then DF'd again at 24. But it wasn't until about 10 years later that I started to REALLY break free. I still thought they were the truth and I was just someone with a bad heart - even though I was living a good clean life (married, great kids, good career, etc) and trying to do the right thing.
I read Crisis of Conscience - that was the first step for me. Then I found a few websites like this one and started to really research the history of the JW and their doctrines. About 3 years ago I stumbled onto a church (through a weird twist of fate) - the pastor there was able to see right through many of the JW twisted doctrines and mind games and helped me to see the truth in the bible.
I feel like I finally free November 2002 when I was baptised as a Christian in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - no denomination - just a Christian.
Now I'm working at getting my family out - along with anyone else I run across that will listen.
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DanTheMan
Scooby, I loved your post. I too was raised in a dysfunctional family, inherited a lot of my dad's screwed-up personality, and at age 22 I was so ripe for the picking that I was just about the easiest fish JW's ever caught. My feelings are the same as yours - JW's were great for me at the time, I think I may have totally self-destructed had I not become involved with them. Of course it's traumatic as hell to learn that it ain't THE TROOTH, but I guess it's an experience I had to go through.
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Scooby
Dawn & Dan-
Thanks for the Luv. I think when you are missing a parent or that parent is totally a basketcase and you don't feel any love from them... it is easy for someone to come along and fill that. So easy, whether it be an org like the borg or a boyfriend/girlfriend... etc etc. Don't you think sub-consciously we need that acceptance, love and parent so much that some of us will "substitute" whatever or whomever comes along? Losing the Borg was like losing a family in a dysfunctional sense. Losing my husband was again like losing my Father who was abusive. Empty holes I now need to learn to fill. JW's make you feel they have all the answers and they love you like brothers and sisters, but its' conditional. You feel like they can fill those gaping holes..... but they never do.... just give you a false sense and keep you busy until one day you crack... then where are they?
That's why some on this board say some people need this cult or belong there in a sense. Sometimes maybe that's true. If you can't cope with things or get the right kind of help or support- I suppose some find a sense of contentment in it. Maybe for a long time.. maybe only temporary until they have the support system to question and leave. Survival is a strong instinct. Some minds may feel they need that system to feel sane in a weird way. Hopefully as support systems and enlightenment grow... more JW's will seek out real help and support instead of a cult control system. What's important is that people keep getting educated to cult tactics. Then everyone can be on the look out for people or things that come into their lives that smell like brainwashing.
thats my two cents. Scoob