by snugglebunny 17 Replies latest jw friends
"So as momma's executors, we just sent the local KH the money that she'd willed to them. We didn't get an acknowledgement."
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I'm thinking that it might have been better to hold the money in a safe account until they asked for it.
I wonder if not communicating with the disfellowshipped still counts when they want money from them.
I'm not suggesting stealing it or using it for one's own purposes, merely to delay paying in order to force them to communicate.
Did you send the funeral bill to the congregation? I would have.
It's funny how they can use a "worldly" composers music in their creepy convention videos but regular people can't do the same.
I would have gone with the disco version of the Star Wars theme...
My mother passed in the mid '80s and her funeral was held in a funeral home chapel. My brother and I asked to choose some music for the funeral. Since we were picking up most of the funeral home expenses, we felt we had the right to make some minor choices along the way. The funeral home manager was agreeable offered us some music that could be played on their tape system. We chose five classic pieces to be played before the actual sermon and remembrance while visitors were being seated. We figured that Kingdom Songs would be played during and after the actual funeral talk. That did not happen, as my sister arranged for a group of four bros and sisters to sing a capella before and after the funeral.
Under normal circumstances, that would not have bothered me and I would not have said a word. But my sister simply overruled us and never said a word. That was bad, but even worse was the fact that none of the "choir" could carry a tune and the group was badly mismatched, with one brother a deep baritone and one sister a screeching soprano. I actually saw a few attendees cover their ears while the "choir" performed.
When my father passed 20 years later, his funeral was held in a Kingdom Hall. I took along a couple of CDs that had soft mood music that could play in the background. But once again, my choices were ignored completely and they played CDs with some of the then newer Kingdom Songs. There was only one favorite song of mine from the 1950s songbook that was included and that was the only piece of music that was worth a damn and that everyone could actually sing ("Take Sides with Jehovah").
So bottom line: Even if you are the eldest son - even if you have been supplanting your elder parents' income in spite of being shunned - figure that any JW relation will be able to overrule your objections and selections.
Knowing what I know now - and matching that to the actual experiences I have had within my own JW family - I would forgo trying to get involved in any way with the final arrangements of a close relative. They are likely to be ignored and overruled anyway. And since there really is nothing worthy mentioned about the relative in the box and what they do say is going to be only about 1 minute long, why bother?
I still have one relative (my sister) who is in her last years and will probably die before I do. I'll leave my options open, but I really doubt that I will travel 2000 miles to be frustrated again. Since it was she who supervised the funerals of my parents and allowed the elders to make choices that I despised, she deserves whatever funeral she gets - I just don't want to have to sit through it and be pissed off one more time.
JV
I've been thinking of having my cremation at a local open- air pit barbecue place.
What sauces would be appropriate? I wouldn't want to stumble anyone...
