Waverers Almost Gone When They Arrive Here?

by Englishman 10 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  Of late, we have seen several threads started here and elsewhere that question the responsibility of ex's towards wavering JW's. Much of the material in these threads has been to do with whether our words or behaviour on these sites should be moderated so as not to "stumble" wavering witnesses.

  Some folk are of the opinion that we have no responsibilty whatsoever to waverers, others say we have a degree of responsibilty, yet others opine that we have a very great degree of responsibility.

  But now I'm wondering if the whole argument is a waste of time. Is it possible that we need feel no responsibility for waverers at all, because our language and behaviour here will make little difference as to whether a waverer ultimately decides to leave the JW's?

  In another thread, Alan F stated:

  :Only when they had already gone at least 80% of the way did they -- actually, could they-- read material like Crisis of Conscience, or Internet material, or anything else critical of the Watchtower. Such material provided the necessary facts to go the rest of the way.

  Alan F would appear to be suggesting that waverers are around 80% of the way out before they even start to consult anti - witness books or anti - witness internet material. He then says that "Such material provided the necessary facts to go the rest of the way ".

  I find the argument to be persuasive and would appreciate the thoughts of others.

  Englishman.
• 

  Shakita

  When my husband and I were wavering, my son showed us this site. We lurked for quite a while before posting, getting to know the personalities of those that posted and soaking up the information about the organization that was kept from us for 25 years. We were not "almost gone" when lurking here, but were "almost gone" when we starting posting.

  I don't think ex's have any responsibility to JW's that post here other than to just be themselves. But, I do think that when responding to a newbie's posts the ex should be careful not to insult or degrade the new person and scare them away. This is just human decency and common sense.

  Mrs. Shakita
• 

  xjw_b12

  I don't know about the 80%. I do agree, with the thought, that there would be some originating impetus, to move people go the internet, to do further research. (Sidenote....it was copies of articles from AlanF given to me by my dad, that got me to thinking)

  As for the degree of responsibility. Haven't we left an organization, that has done nothing but whitewash, and sugar coat their message through their whole existance?

  I agree with Mrs. Shatika, that, we should be patient with "Newbies", when they first begin to post here. But to tone down our threads and replies, because we may be concerned with what "Lurkers" may think, would be a mistake.

  I think a punch in the nose, gets more attention than a tap on the shoulder !

  And that is why this site and others like it are smelling salts to the unconscious.
• 

  logansrun

  When I first started researching the Society about two and a half years ago I ran across this site. I must admit it: it frightened me.

  But, I'm a pretty conservative person. I still held the Society with some regard so I didn't care for the sarcasm that sometimes bordered on "potty humor." By the way, I think it's hilarious now, but at the time it turned me off.

  Also, there still are many threads that are started that are completely inconsequential to whether the JWs are correct or not. That got to me and still makes me cringe. When I see threads about how mean the elders are or how some MS ran off with your mate, well that just does NOT logically mean that the Society is at fault for those individual actions, let alone that they are incorrect in their teaching. Give me some solid, irrefutable FACTS about the JW belief system and then my ears perk up.

  I didn't actually participate on ex-JW forums till after I was already out of the org. I will be honest, when I was collecting information about the organization I did it through research in books, journels and non-forum websites.

  So there you go.

  Bradley
• 

  Francois

  It beats me why anyone thinks we should bear some responsibility toward waverers here. Perhaps if someone could clearly define the nature of that responsibility, I could discuss it more fully.

  For instance, if we bear responsibility whom do we bear it to? It could be argued that we would owe it to the WTBTS to take it easy with their wavering members. That would last about as long as screen doors on a submarine.

  I just don't see it. I'm with xjw_b12. If you want to get the attention of these good folk who are smart enough to be here lurking and watching and waiting and testing the water, best to use a 2 X 4 as opposed to a feather. After all, it is always a loud minority that has pulled off each and every revolution in world history. And that's what we want, a revolution. We want a revolution that exposes the Watchtower cult for exactly what it is. We want a revolution that will bring an end to this clearly evil organization that wouldn't know the truth if it kissed them on the lips.

  Frankly, I don't feel I owe it to anyone to take it easy on the WTBTS if that's the implication.
• 

  Englishman

  I reckon that people are more concerned about being shunned than anything else. I have my own little modus operandii and like to show people that it is perfectly possible to create a newer and better social life outside of JW's.

  As far as being easy on the WTBTS is concerned, no way, not even to tender waverers.

  Englishman.
• 

  logansrun

  Let me clarify my post a little:

  I'm not saying that anyone should censor themselves here. I view this forum as a place for ex-JWs to chat and debate, not really for the doubting JW to get all the answers to their questions. Everyone is different, though, and I chose to do my analysis of the Society elsewhere. Cest la vie.

  Bradley
• 

  manon

  Weaverers almost gone when they arrive here?

  Well this was never the case and point for me. I walked away from the society in 1981 all these years I've been walking in the realm of the "wicked system". During this time I never read/heard of any material critical of WT. The worldwideweb didn't exsist back then. This place holds its value in its wealth of literary information as well as the abundance of the common experience. Even though at times it's difficult for me to think in terms of JWism since I've been away from it for so long.

  Only when they had already gone at 80% of the way did---acutally, could they----read material like CoC, or internet material or anything else critical of WT. Such material provided necessary facts to go the rest of the way.

  Again, I can't say this appplies to me. I considered myself 98% gone 15 years ago. I've been starving for any type of material on the subject matter. CoC took me on a tour and taught me about the inner workings of the upper echelon of the society. Confirmed many of my suspicion about the WT and I'll say it again the truth can be found within the minutes of the board meetings. Jehovahs Witness that are doubting their faith today are extremely fortunate in finding and having a place like this to come to.
• 

  JeffT

  I think a distinction should be made here between indiviuals, and the corporation they serve. Somebody that comes in asking honest questions should be treated politely, but that's just good manners. If somebody knocks on your door and asks for directions to a gas station you don't call him a %*(^%$ idiot and slam the door in his face.

  On the other hand I have zero tolerance for the Corporation and those that are here to defend it. If those people can't take the heat they should get out of the kitchen.
• 

  Swan

  My own personal rule is this:

  It's not my job to preach any more.

  If people ask me, I tell them, and I'm glad to help them. But, it's not my responsibility to try to get them to see the WTBTS for what it is. It's not my duty to break through their cognitive dissonance. I won't waste my time with died in the wool zealots under cult mind control.

  And so I don't worry about it. I post as I think and feel and I won't whitewash it. If you are lurking here and you want to know what it's like to leave and be shunned by your family, let me tell you it is hell, but it is a far better hell than the one I grew up in. Ask me anything you want; I won't lie to you. But I won't waste my time with you either if you are just jerking with me.

  Tammy