Nobody else understands

by ElderBerry 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Magnum

  I think only other ex JWs could ever understand.

  I think you're right. I have tried explaining to never-JWs what it was like, but they just can't grasp it. At most, some of them can only relate it to going to Church once or twice a month. They just will not be able to grasp how all-consuming being a JW is and the sacrifices that are made and the way JW lives are controlled and the never-ending hamster wheel of life-consuming activity. They just won't be able to grasp that if one is a real JW, he will always be behind and he will never have any free time - no weekends, no evenings, etc.

  I have virtually given up on trying to explain. Many of my associates go to church once or twice a month. Outside of that, they do whatever they want whenever they want. Their careers aren't affected, their choices of education aren't affected, there is no preaching, there are no meeting parts to work on, there is no one scrutinizing their lives, etc.
  
  
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  TonusOH

  That might be the one thing that could change the WTS for the better, but I don't know if they could ever do it- reject the concept that JWs must limit/avoid association with "the world." That might be the one biggest thing that affects us, because many people can't really see it. You can converse with people at work or at school, and they can think "JWs aren't so bad, they are regular people. They miss out on one or two things, is all." They don't see how JWs isolate themselves from non-JWs the rest of the time.

  It's not that you go to X number of meetings and spend X hours preaching (although that can certainly drain a person); it's that the rest of the time, you don't get to behave like a normal person. Going out with non-JWs for dinner, or a movie, or to hang out, and so on. That might be even worse than not celebrating birthdays or holidays. You see yourself as being isolated from this world that is always right in front of you.
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  LongHairGal

  MAGNUM:

  You are totally right that people cannot grasp how all-consuming the Witness religion is.

  Even lapsed or POMI people aren’t fully aware of this!!! I have felt frustrated with people I know who might have had exposure to the Witnesses when young - but never got involved. They lived their lives in the so-called ‘world’ with jobs, getting married, etc. having absolutely No idea what JWs who are ‘In’ go through!.. Even somebody I know who only went to the Sunday meeting and didn’t stay for the WT and attended the once a year memorial doesn’t fully comprehend.. This person doesn’t fully ‘get’ why I feel the way I do!

  The reason for this is that the above mentioned meetings are for the general public and do NOT reveal what the JW religion is really all about!.. What saved me was that I HAD to work. Thankfully, I held onto that job they all hated me for. When I heard about them dropping the requirement to report hours, I despised them. I got persecuted over this.

  We should ALL be glad we are out and savor freedom - taking one day at a time and enjoying the small but important things in life!
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  Leathercrop

  I met my wife as a jw ...a hot sexy spitting image of Lynda Carter aka the real Wonder Woman with long legs for days and tons of fun in private hehehe...will never regret that.

  One of the things that became utterly clear with time after distancing myself from JW was how emotionally dependent I'd become on the org. Believing that ONLY in the org I could be respectable, clean, well dressed, positive minded, purposeful, etc...

  But the truth is that all those things originate from within. Seems almost ridiculously obvious now but it wasn't at first. Once I came to understand this, the crutch that was JW disappeared. A long time ago I read Candide by Voltaire and there's a quote he writes in there "We must all cultivate our own garden"....truer words...
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  Teddnzo

  People who go to Church every now and then will not be able to relate just how all encompassing and controlling it is to be a JW.

  I wish I had known about JWlite all those years I wasted.

  Why not be like those church goers and be JWLITE
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  ElderBerry

  Other high control cults would understand to a degree but they are all different.

  If you once believed in living forever in paradise and all the other teachings then you don’t mind wasting your life for the watchtower. You don’t realise it’s a way to control you. Then you do feel very bitter once you realise you have been conned.

  I feel mostly sorry for very older ones who gave their lives to this lie. It’s probably best for them to carry on believing it. Imagine on your deathbed regret if your wasted life. It would be a much better taking the blue pill and thinking you are instantly going to wake up in the reserection.
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  resolute Bandicoot

  Hey Elderberry, here is an Idea for you, make a list of all of the things that you always wanted to do but were not able because of time constraints or what other people might think or things that were just off the scale naughty.

  Just do it and cross them off as you go, and in your heart, every one of those worldly pleasures can be like a Javelin missile fired back at the borg.

  Works for me ++++
  

  RB
  
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  no-zombie

  While I've given 50 years unconditionally the the Organization, what are the things I've really missed out on ... promiscuous sex, drug use, alcohol abuse and maybe a few nights in a police lockup? Yeh ... no thanks, as I prefer remembering my good weekends out, without remorse.
  

  However what I am upset about, is being needlessly lied to by the Governing Body. There was never any need to treat people like morons, and try to pass of opinions as certainties.
  
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  TonusOH

  That is the attitude that the GB would push to the rank and file. If you leave the org, you will descend into sin and destroy yourself. Few people want to leave the WTS out of a desire to lose themselves morally, IMO. Most just want to do things like question a specific teaching without feeling as if they are drifting into the deep end of the pool. Or celebrate a birthday, or get a tattoo, or wear a beard.

  When you have been walking on eggshells for a long time, you don't even realize how much anxiety it can cause. The relief that many feel upon getting out must be absolutely immense.
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  Biahi

  Funny you say that, Tonus, about the relief you feel. 39 years ago, when I moved into my first apartment, crummy as it was, when I closed the door behind me, I knew I was well and truly DONE, no more meetings,service or any more of the nonsensical bullshittery that is Watchtower. The TREMENDOUS WEIGHT I felt off my shoulders, I remember to this day. I remember thinking that, if this religion were true, I wouldn’t feel this way. I felt like I did more than walk away, I ESCAPED.