Update 8: "fix your attitude, young lady"

by Esmeralda001 23 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LongHairGal

  Hi Esmeralda,

  Wow, keep these very entertaining stories coming!

  These women in the religion are angry because you are not allowing them to get to you. You are refusing to be victimized and this is frustrating them to no end.

  The game they are playing requires two parties: the person playing the role of haughty persecutor/punisher AND a masochistic victim who accepts their role.

  They are annoyed for another reason (that they would never verbalize): they think they are better than you. By you adopting a dignified stance and ignoring them, this makes them furious. The fact that you are young and doing this angers them more. They imagine you should just sit back and take their disrespect. You have "stepped out of line" in their eyes because you aren't. They may hate you forever.

  As somebody who came from a somewhat dysfunctional home, plus spending decades in the workforce around countless catty, backstabbing women and also in the JW religion with the same ruthless games, I am expert in this area, sorry to say.

  You are going to have to develop a very thick hide to be in this religion! I got weary of it.
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  Designer Stubble

  Of course if you do not take the initiative to greet someone, that person could take the higher road and come to greet you warmly...rather than complain to the overworked elders. Why do so many persons always expect the other to take initiative.
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  The Searcher

  "Apparently some sister complained to her.."

  I would ask your study conductor, "Why is this "sister" going against Jesus' direction at Matthew 5:23,24, and talking to others about me? If she has a problem, shouldn't she have spoken to me - alone?"

  Your shunners took the high ground against you. Let them see exactly where they are standing.

  Their "thinking" needs readjusted! (Galatians 6:1)
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  Witness My Fury

  If happiness and peace are your aims then going to cult indoctrination sessions twice a week and receiving personal cult training in a so called "bible study" is not the way to go about it.

  I can understand someone faking reinstatement to get their family back, but otherwise not.
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  tiki

  Run Esmeralda....run.....if its happiness and peace you want, a kingdom hall is not the right place for you.
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  blondie

  Elder's wife wants to "counsel" me so she tells elder husband to go to other elder's wife and husband and tell him to counsel his wife....that elder ask who the person is who has a problem with his wife and they should come to her directly about the problem...the first elder tells this elder he can't tell him who said it..............!

  A frequent scenario
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  Londo111

  Esmeralda,
  

  The deeper you get drawn in, the more stuff you will get ‘counseled’ on! Oh joy!

  As I may have said before, I have found true peace of mind is having little to nothing to do with this organization or the victims trapped in it. I'm concerned about you as many here are. You’ve better endeavors to spend your youth and energy on.
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  Esmeralda001

  
  

  Thank you for your replies everybody.

  As you may guess, my study conductor refused to reveal the name of the complainer. I told her it is best if SHE (we both know who she is anyway) come see me direclty to address the issue, otherwise there will be no change in my attitude whatsoever. To wich she replied:"you might have valide reasons to behave that way, but as real christians we must put our difference aside and swallow our pride to maintain the congregation peace. (She pointed out some verses in the bible). You might not realize but you are not just hurting sister x. Your attitude may be stumbling others members". I ended up the debate by saying That being distante is the only way I can preserve my inner peace (and that of the congregation by extension). Since i'm not disrespecting anyone, i'll continue to do so. It is really common for the members of our congregation to ignore each other. that's nothing new under the sun. Nobody will stumble.

  you know what we say about hispanic and black women: they are very assertive (I may be out of line. Don't quote me on this one :-p ). Guess what? I'm a combinaison of both. In my culture, we don't believe in passive agressivity. Ever since I've been affiliated with the JW's i've learnt to be less confrontational wich I think is a good thing. I deal with people that I want to deal with, and ignore the ones whom I can't learn anything from.
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  WingCommander

  I gotta luv how when you snub these assholes, well then all of a sudden it's about YOU not stumbling OTHERS????? WTF?

  I would have told this Elder that SHE has stumbled me with her drama and hateful attitude, and that I've merely applied JESUS council on the subject by "turning the other cheek." If she has a problem with it, might I suggest "deadening her member" (brain) so as to not become stumbled.

  You gotta learn to turn this sh*t around on these toxic manipulators, to show them up as the assholes that they are.
  
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  Je.suis.oisif

  Hi Esmeralda and welcome. I've just got to say I love your perspective. It has been refreshing. You go girl. Tho personally I'd run for the hills in your position.