I think if I walked in to my hall I would be dfd on the spot. These guys are really scared of those of us that use our brains. They were warning other elders in other halls about me all the way back when I just asked a few questions.
Do you still go to meetings?
by NikL 27 Replies latest jw friends
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scratchme1010
Sometimes it feels really lonely because I don't connect with most others in the congregation and I have to be so careful with the ones with whom I do associate.
That's part of what cults do to people. They make life in back and white so you cannot be in this in-between stage and feel happy.
Just out of curiosity:
You mentioned that at some point you went back to see if they changed. What change do you think needs to happen for you to feel like going back?
Do you believe in what they preach? Do you support what they do? I wonder if the stage where you are is really solely to keep your wife happy. Seems to me like there may be something there that you may like about that organization, if you have gone back to see if the environment is better for you.
I know you want a happy wife, but isolation and loneliness are not exactly the signs of being in a great place in life.
Have you considered talking directly to your wife about where you stand with that organization? Do you know where you stand with that organization?
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new boy
After 50 years of meetings
No I'm free at last
free at last
thank god I'm free at last!
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NikL
scratchme1010 12 hours ago
What change do you think needs to happen for you to feel like going back?
I didn't want to get into the gory details in my OP but my wife has had lots of medical and mental problems and after her pleading with me to just TRY and give Jehovah something to bless I said fine I would go to the meetings with her. No promises were made beyond that.
So, I went with her for about a year.
Of course I was subjected to the usual love bombing:-) During that time I noticed more talks and studies seem to be dealing with love and Jesus and not so much on doomsday. The old starched shirt way of doing things seemed to be mostly passed.In answer to your question, I would like to see more freedom of diversity of thought.
Do you believe in what they preach?
Not all of it.
Do you support what they do?
Some things. Although their motives may be skewed.
Seems to me like there may be something there that you may like about that organization, if you have gone back to see if the environment is better for you.
Not really. I don't feel like I need to have a religious organization to tell me what to do or what is right. I don't mind a religion giving me suggestions. But anytime I'm told it's their way or the highway (in this case the Highway to Armageddon and the second death) I get real twitchy.
I know you want a happy wife, but isolation and loneliness are not exactly the signs of being in a great place in life.
I didn't mean for my situation to sound so woeful. I'm not isolated or lonely except when I go to the meetings. And that's just for a couple of hours a week so I can take it for my wife's well-being and sanity.
Have you considered talking directly to your wife about where you stand with that organization? Do you know where you stand with that organization?
Good Lord! been there done that. I truly believe that she will have a mental breakdown if and when the Org crumbles. By being there I can MAYBE act as sort of a buffer for her and protect her from getting too deep and drinking the cool-aid.
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out4good4
I didn't want to get into the gory details in my OP but my wife has had lots of medical and mental problems and after her pleading with me to just TRY and give Jehovah something to bless I said fine I would go to the meetings with her.
A few years ago, my wife went to this stage, pleading, to me about what my intentions were with respect to ever going to meetings again. Since she asked, I told her point blank that I didn't believe in any of it anymore and that I would never be going back.
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scratchme1010
NikL, thanks for clarifying.
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EternalPettingZoo
I go with the wife when the watchtower study is over the top with ridiculous crap. Then I giggle like a little school girl at every comment someone makes or when the term "food for thought" or the word "poignant" is used.
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SnakesInTheTower
It has been 10 years this month, Christmas week to be exact, since I was removed as an elder during the CO visit. Best gift ever. Moved congos, circuits, states without physically moving away. Started to fade. When the new elders figured they couldn't reappoint me, an MTS grad (read: dump their work on me), as an elder, the new car smell faded almost as quickly as I did.
When the KH went through a total renovation, everyone scattered and I left for the summer, coming back for the first Sunday back in the shiny new hall. Listening to the visiting speaker, a friend, I had the same type of thoughts as the OP. I knew I no longer fit in. I stayed only through the talk and left.
Never stepped foot in a KH in over 9 years since. No funerals, no Memorials, no CONventions. Been to 2 JW weddings held at a banquet hall. Same elder (initials RC) gave both talks. Both times the worldly people attending scratched their heads with a WTF look. Bad even by witness standards. I won't be doing that again either.
Friendship in the Borg is CONditional.
Snakes (Rich, of the "never being CONNED again Sheep Class")