Getting Baptized, did you really want to, or did you feel extreme pressure? (page 3)

KenUK

Circuit assembly, Newcastle Upon Tyne, September the something 1975...

Aged 14 - and with the 6,000 years up it seemed the smart thing to do... (insurance policy etc etc)

LIKE...LIKE...TOTALLY! Absolute preasure! It never felt right to me. It never made a lot of sense that there would be so much preasure to get baptized while at the same time preach about how Catholics had it all wrong baptizing baby's. Now all you have to do is be able to answer a couple hundred questions to qualify. Whats in your heart is not relivant.

Anne

When I was baptised as a JW it was because I wanted to. But then again I was 13 and probably would have married my first crush because I wanted to.

For children who are raised as JW getting baptised is roughly equivalent to confirmation that many other religions require for their young people. The difference is the repercussions.

For example: I have a younger sister who was DF for smoking when she was 16, she was shunned by the congregation by their usual rules. In contrast my youngest brother has never been baptised. He smokes (much to the disgust of my parents), but he is not shunned even though you can definitly smell it on him and he sneaks outside often. He is not shunned, and almost the entire congregation went to his high school graduation recently. Hmmm, you can't tell me one is worse or better than the other because one of them made a choice to be dunked in water when they were 14. I think the definition of what is immoral is missed by the rules.

At the time I was baptised my family lived in northern MN, USA. Kind of funny but I think I saw the circuit overseers name who gave the talk when I was going down a list of people who have left. His last name was Cole I think.

Soledad

oh man was the pressure on me!! I was baptized at the ripe old age of 12.

jws

I put it off for a while. Some kids got baptised at 13 and maybe younger. We got some pressure, but my brother and I argued that we should be closer to adults so that it would be an adult decision. It worked. We managed to put it off until we were both about 18, but then the pressure was sure on. We both lived at home during the time and would keep getting asked about it.

When I finally did it, I can't really remember what was going through my mind. On the one hand, I felt I had to. I believed in the JWs, so it was something I had to do eventually. On the other hand, the more people tried to pressure me into it, the more it made me not want to - just to show them. I didn't feel right being pressured. But, the longer I waited, the more I felt I stuck out. Here were kids baptised at 13 and here I am all the way at 17 or 18. What was keeping me? Then there was the status and how people viewed you. At dating age, with that non-baptised thing hung over your head, some parents and even some girls wouldn't have anything to do with you. It was a red flag.

In the end, I think the pressure from parents (and I'm not saying I was forced, just pressure here and there), I gave in. I felt OK with it at the time. It was something I had to get past and I was doing it and getting it over with.

The wierdest thing was once I was baptised, it was a turning point. And it all started that very night. I was a pretty good JW up until that point, generally behaving, except for a little wine or beer now and then. That night we had booked a hotel with another friend from our old hall. He brought a 6-pack and some whiskey. We got a little drunk, met these four worldly girls and my brother and I went to their room and ended up making out with 3 of the 4. We even had this hilarious situation with hiding in the bathroom shower when one of their fathers came in. We held our breath and tried not to breath or make a sound when he came in to use the bathroom. Nothing x-rated happened, but probably could have. When one girl I was making out with got sick from too much alcohol, another volunteered to take her place. Up until this night, neither of us had ever made out before.

So, here I was. Somehow I thought baptism would protect me. I wound up with this odd feeling that because I was now a JW, Satan was trying to tempt me away. Before he didn't care, but now I was on his hit list and I had just failed a test. But damn if it wasn't fun! Nothing ever came from it. Never saw these girls again. Nobody ever spoke to the elders about it. Actually, at that time, if that's what baptism got you, I wanted to be baptised at every assembly!!!

caligirl

I was 14. I would not say that I felt extreme pressure, so to speak, but I was certainly at the age where it was "expected." Plus, I had always been viewed as spiritually lacking. ( probably sensed the lack of submissive humility, despite my best efforts to "act" like a female was supposed to!) I thought that baptism would get people off my back and lead to acceptance. It did, on a very temporary basis. My 10 year old sister was the one that got the pressure.

The questions were a joke. I approached it like I did any other "test." We had this senile P.O. who did one of the question sessions with me. He would ask a question, then ramble off on a tangent and end with another question. When he finished talking, I would answer the question he asked originally. Well, by then, he had forgotten the first question, and he would get this puzzled look on his face and tell me that I didn't answer correctly! It was all such a joke, but I "passed" and got baptized like the other good little 14 year olds at the assembly. Big Freakin Deal. I don't think I ever thought of it as holding any kind of spiritual significance.

The night that it was announced that I was going to be baptized at the circuit assembly, I remember sitting outside the front doors on the stone wall ( I often went out there to escape the crush of people in the hall because I always felt anxiety in crowds and wait for my parents) and one of the elder's wives made a comment to me on her way out. She said " Now you'll really have to behave yourself." I just chuckled politely, but in the back of my mind I was thinking that I had never done anything that could be considered wrong and who the hell did she think she was. I was apparently considered a threat to the purity of all the young men in the hall without ever having done a thing to deserve the reputation (at that point anyways!). ( I was certainly no threat to this woman's son under any circumstance though! His nickname was "uniball", and on top of his lack of looks, height and personality......there was nothing to be a threat to!)

Well, I went on to marry my first crush (I think someone already posted on this thread and likened baptism to being stupid enought to do that as well? Very good call!) and went through all kinds of crap for it. Of course being a young idealistic teen, all the trouble that people in the hall gave us was just a "test" of our love, but what did I know at that age? I should have taken it as a BIG FAT HINT NOT TO DO IT! But that is another story all together.

OrbitingTheSun

I wasn't raised as a JW and I thought if I was baptized the people in my congregation would finally see me as a JW and not as a worldy individual. So, I really wanted to be baptized. To my surprise, baptism didn't improve anything. I discovered most of the people who befriended me didn't care to be my friend when they couldn't count our conversations as part of their monthly time.

fraidycat9

EXTREME PRESSURE!!!

I was a young teenager when I got "dunked" and was told that I was going to get "zapped" if I didn't. So many of us "took the bath" at the same time (circa 1975) that it almost looked like a pool party!!!

Nosferatu

I was pressured right after I became an unbaptized publisher. Everyone was asking me when I was going to get baptized. The elder I was studying with was extremely pushy. I just answered them with the same thing "When I'm ready". I never was.

I should have taken the dunk and pissed in the pool to give it the symbolism it deserves.

nicolaou

Anne said: "When I was baptised as a JW it was because I wanted to. But then again I was 13 and probably would have married my first crush because I wanted to."

Now that's insightful! I didn't think there were many of us who wanted to get baptised in our teens but the reality is that we only wanted the illusion. If we chose to get baptised at such a young age it was definately a result of pressure even if we didn't recognise it at the time or struggle to recognise it now!!

Nic'

Getting Baptized, did you really want to, or did you feel extreme pressure?