A child of nine.

by nicolaou 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • yxl1
    yxl1

    I'd forgotten about all the sleepless nights thinking about Satan and his demons trying to get me. That stuff used to frighten the shit out of me...

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    I must be a tired guy today, I just read this and feel totally gutted, usually I can cope with having to have a hard heart when reading these things, today I cant. Nic its brilliant at capturing the feelings and emotions. Sets off a few triggers too.

    BTW Welcome aboard talesin, good to have you here.

    Brummie

  • Hapgood
    Hapgood

    Nic, this poem is so touching. It brought me to tears. I wasn't raised a jw but we raised our daughter in that cult, it just cuts me to the heart what we put her through growing up. I don't think I can ever forgive myself. "Hugs" to all of you that lost your childhood to this cult.

    Hapgood

  • talesin
    talesin

    brummie

    a child of nine made me remember something good as well - that for me, i can know that those feelings belong to a child and i as an adult can deal better

    ... just a thought

    tks for the well come

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    Hapgood

    How old is you daughter now? Is she grown up? Does she still go to meetings? You said, "I don't think I can ever forgive myself." Try to remember where the blame really lies, at the door of the Watchtower Society. You thought, as I did, that by taking our children to the meetings we were doing what was best for them.

    Ask yourself, who or what made you think that way? Don't beat yourself up for having been taken in by their promises and lies as millions of us have been.

    All the best for the future,

    Nic'

  • LDH
    LDH

    Hey NIc,

    you missed one. How about the "example" of a mother in Africa who threw her child off of a bridge because the crying child was giving away the location of the JW's hiding spot!

    How FAITHFUL that sister was, knowing that if her child died he would be resurrected.

    From a very early age I understood that if it came down to me dying vs. my parents sacrificing their belief in the JWs, I was a dead kid any day of the week. Sweet dreams, eh?

    Lisa

    My children before ANY RELIGION Class

  • Hapgood
    Hapgood

    Nic, thank you so much for kind words of comfort. My daughter will be 23 this year, she left the "truth" when she was 18, she was never baptised, so at least we didn't have to deal with her being df (my hubby is still a jw). I think the guilt will always be with me, I was raised as a non jw, so I had a normal childhood. She had to deal with all the JW stuff as a child. I think that is why I feel so bad. She's seen pictures and heard stories about me when I was a child growing up, living a normal life, holidays, birthdays, dating, doing all the normal stuff kids do. And there she was stuck with this JW lifestyle. She did have some bad problems as a teen, I was in denial that her problems had anything to do with the JWS, but now I know that was the main cause of some of the things that she went through. And yes, I realize that the Watchtower is part of the blame and at the time I was trying to do what I thought was best for her. I'm working things out, and reading others experiences really helps, and that we are not alone. Now I'm trying to be the best Mom and Grandma (she has a son) that I can be.

    Hapgood

  • talesin
    talesin

    bttt

    t

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    Sorry I missed your 'bump' talesin, didn't realise this was the topic you first responded to. Such a long time ago . . .

    Good reminder to watch out for the kids if you are still attending though.

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