My mom

by cognac 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • cognac
    cognac

    Mommy - Trust me, it didn't come easy. There were a lot of battles fought... At one point, we weren't on speaking terms for months and I blocked her number.

    Uphill battle to say the least. I regret nothing.

  • pronomono
    pronomono

    I'm glad you've reached a point where you can be honest with your mom without her shunning you. I've thought about these same conversations with my mom and I'm not sure how they will go. She's one of those people that needs the truth to be true. Between recently loosing her mom and raising my sister who is disabled with severe scoliosis and a very low quality of life, she needs something better to look forward to. I don't think I could tell her that she's wrong.

    I hope you can keep repairing the relationship you have with your mom. It sounds like you are on the right path, and she is responding positively.

  • KateWild
    KateWild
    I may have wasted an opportunity to tell her why... Maybe I should have... Maybe I should just confide in her...- cognac

    I don't think you wasted an opportunity at all. You have good critical thinking skills and can make good decisions. some on this board are too hasty and mess things up others don't say a thing and stay in. We all have different circumstances and I think you have very good balance,

    Kate xx

  • Saintbertholdt
    Saintbertholdt

    Hi there Cognac,

    I think you handled the situation very well.

    Maybe at some point in the future she might approach you for some information.

  • Bonsai
    Bonsai

    Dear Cognac,

    I am in a similar situation with my mom as well. I was the last of my siblings to remain in the religion. I was the one she confided in spiritually to encourage her. Now I'm the worst out of all of them. It didn't matter that I never committed the same level of immorality as my siblings. It didn't matter that i was and still am the most responsible out of all of us.They left because they were weak in my mom's eyes. I left because i was full-blown apostate, not satisfied with the "truths" that i had been taught growing up. Now she doesn't shun me, but she is terrified of me and we always get into huge arguments that leave us not talking with each other for months on end. I never want to get into TTATT with her, but her guilt-tripping tactics drive me towards that topic.

    It was a huge mistake to reveal my cards, and share what I learned with my mother. My other siblings learned TTATT as well, but they were smart enough to pretend ignorance to it. I'm not saying your mother would react the same way. No two mothers are exactly alike. But there is a very high probability that sharing TTATT will blow up in your face.

    Please tread carefully.

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander
    You handled that well. Spoke your mind, without incriminated yourself. Well played!!!! Give a cult member NOTHING in which to hang you with. Maybe in 6 months, leave "Combatting Cult Mind Control" in her mailbox. 3 months after that, Ray Franz's COC. 1 month after that, ISOCF. Anonymously of course. If she asks if YOU placed them in her mailbox, deny it of course.
  • kairos
    kairos
    some on this board are too hasty and mess things up others don't say a thing and stay in.

    This is true.
    I thought I may have blown it in my case. At first...
    I am so glad to be fully out, away and free of this very toxic group.

    Everyone will do their own thing.

    Telling our story is good for healing.

    ( all of us )

  • zarco
    zarco
    Really well done, Cognac. I agree with the post above that it is risky to explain the actual reasons now. You established a good platform for such a conversation in the future. If you do wish to explain why, maybe just pick one subject to discuss with your mom. The next conversation just one subject.... I guess taking it in small pieces is best. Nice going!

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