Don’t know how I ended up here but no one who understands will listen, or any one who will listen doesn’t understand.
I grew up in the “truth”, I was baptised at 17 as it was encouraged by the elders. I really didn’t understand what I was getting Into.
12months later I landed on my first JC, id been on a lads holiday which had landed us in a heap of trouble. ( background to this which they wouldn’t listen too is that during this holiday myself and my friend were going through a tough time my Ex girlfriend who was in the “world” I’d had to leave to be baptised called me as she was in hospital due to domestic violence from her current BF. I was miles away and my friend had just learnt that a young sister in the congestion had fallen pregnant to him.
So we got drunk and ended up at a brothel you might have gathered we weren’t very upstanding, I think we were young and stupid.
Anyway we went to a couple of new young elders and told them everything which they wrote down and gave to every elder in the congregation.
I got off with a public reproof, only to have an elder tell a load of brothers on a fishing trip about it.
To cut a long story short this lead to a relationship break down a few years later with a sister once she found out I’d been with a prostitute. Seems unless your a virgin your damaged goods.
i fell into a real low point most of my fiends got disfellowshiped At a simlair time and having shunned “worldly association” I was on my own.
I got Involved with a girl from college and we did some naughty “heavy petting” I really wanted to straighten my self out so again I sought help from the older men.
They humiliated me and then publicly reproved me and offered no help. I asked for a private reproof as no one knew about it and coming from a large family I didn’t want it to affect them also my grandmother had days to live after fighting cancer for a few years. She died a week after the announcement. Whilst she was very ill it didn’t seem fair to give her that news on her death bed.
After a couple of years I got over my mistreatment having not been given any help at all and I was doing really well, I made a few slip ups and my friend from the previous story got reinstated.
He then started sleeping with a M/S wife and I found out. I don’t agree with cheating but I was scared of us all getting kicked out. So I said nothing although I tried everything to get them caught.
I couldn’t say to much as I’d stayed in a hotel with them with another girl.
Once the elders found out her husbands dD Hushed it all up as he didn’t want a scandal
I stopped associating with them and put a lot of hard work into making matters right
i didn’t go forward as id lost faith in the judicial system.
I then threw and congregation party at great personal expense meeting the most wonderful girl
3months later we were courting and I couldn’t be happier
2weeks later I was on my third judical as my “friend” had confessed, the wife turn sour and shopped me in for my one night hotel stand.
My JC was made up of the husbands family surprising I was blamed for not saying anything and DF.
I appealed to yet three more of his relations and wasn’t successful. No surprises nepotism seems the order.
Although i sounds like a bad person most of my friends sinned much more yet having parents as elders always got away with private reproofs.
My girlfriend stuck with me during been DF and we have spent 10months of secretly meeting which has emotionally drained us, living in a small village it has been like living as a Jew under Hitler.
My old congregation has been liquidated due to the elders hurting so many people with JC
my new congregation reinstated me in 3 Months
im now “back” and I’ve lost my head.
how do I start to rebuild my life? My family one day cut me out of my life on the say so of a old man, my friends shunned me. That day everyone died I’ve spent 10months mourning them.
I don’t get how I’m supposed to be happy that suddenly it’s ok for people to talk to me again when they weren’t there through the hardest thing I’ve been through.
im sorry this is a long first post i Just hope somone has been through this and has managed to rebuild there life
im just a emotional wreck 😞