Obviously at some point you stopped believing the Witnesses had the Truth or else you wouldn’t be here.
But for the most part, were you a True Believer or were you typically a rebel or a doubter?
by minimus 43 Replies latest jw friends
It wasn't that I believed it, per se, I just repeated back what I was told and followed the rules so I wouldn't get sent to the back room.
But one story is telling of how I felt. So, I finally place a magazine and the guy actually seemed interested in our religion. He had been looking for a place to worship. I remember not wanting to do a return visit because I didn't want him to have the burden of it all.
I thought I had to do it. I was trapped in it with no way out. It's like I was living out 2 lives at the same time. Always having to keep up appearances so you wouldn't be too suspicious but hanging out with the wordliest witnesses I could find because that's who I really was. But you wear your dress, do your talks, get a few hours a month, underline the whatever, answer sometimes...and as I type this - how far removed from a heartfelt belief in Jesus it is!
I am grateful for it (because I got out of it), it shaped me and I wouldn't be who I am today.
When I was in I would have said 100% yes I believe it. If anyone tried to convince me otherwise I would have turned them in or covered my ears and run away like a good JW.
Looking back I accepted it as the truth without any verification whatsoever.
In my defense, although I was raised as a JW, I was really only a believer for 5-10 years.
I spent most of my life not paying attention at meetings or family study. I got baptized at 18 or 19 having no clue what I was agreeing to. I got DFed at 27 or so. A few years later I finally did my verification and learned TTAT.
I had come to the conclusion, for about 2 decades as a PIMI, that Christ came to his end on a cross. It was the only reasonable conclusion.
The cedar point Ohio thing and the revelation book I though may of been pushing the boundaries a bit, but still towed the party line. I wish now that would of been the thing that woke me up.