What kind of sex are you having?

by hippikon 29 Replies latest social humour

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  hippikon

  Five Kinds of Sex

  1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

  2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen while she's trying to wash the dishes.

  3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

  4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "F*** you!"

  5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
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  Maverick

  That's like what Rodney Danderfield said about marrage. "Marrage is a three ring circus, first the engagement ring, second the wedding ring, and then third... the suffering!" Maverick
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  ballistic

  What about the 6th kind, "no sex"?
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  Brummie

  even in the kitchen while she's trying to wash the dishes.

  What if she catches you at it? Doesnt sound like a good idea.
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  Robdar

  5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

  Change that wife to husband and you've got my story.

  Also, the 6th kind....no sex

  Robyn
• 

  Thunder Rider

  1,2&3

  Sorry folks. Just lucky I guess!

  Thunder
• 

  rocketman

  I'd say number 3, though it's infrequent but still okay.

  Newseek ran a feature article this week on sex within marriage and how many couples are in virtual "sexless" mariages (sex around 10 times per year).

  I loved one quote in the article. After giving a reason why many couples are not having much sex, namely, the failure of husbands to shoulder more of the burden of caring for the kids and the chores, one wife said "It's hard to be sexy when I always pissed off".

  http://www.newsweek.com
• 

  teejay

  I'm married. The married kind of sex.
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  JH

  I didn't reach phase 1 yet.
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  ESTEE

  What about the 6th kind, "no sex"?

  6. ESTEE