To be honest my fade left me nothing but bewilded and confused (and I have read similar experiences to mine, with the same feeling. I hope in a way your experience is the same). I was an active publisher for just under 40 years. Never missed a meeting etc even when I was PIMO. I didn’t fade I just stopped. When I walked I had not one follow up call from elders. Only 2 visits from local pubs (one of those visits I was left with Magerzines. I’m a way I was glad no one bothered to follow up as it saved me having to deal with them, and in another sense insulted after 40 years that the best they could do. I hope you have the same experience.