JE-HOVIS WITNESSES

JW72

Hi everyone, Sorry about the title, got your attention though!!....

My dad is the only JW in my family, I'm not, my 2 brothers aren't and neither is my mum.

My mum was until me and my older brother were about 6 & 7.

Me and my brother were until we were 15 & 16.

My little brother was briefly, but escaped in 'the nick of time'.

Life is very tough in my house, with my dad stomping around the house, making everyone feel guilty and uncomfortable with every little thing that we do.

We are just trying to get on like a normal family, and all he can do is say negative things about everything we do.

It is impossible to live with him, we have all come to agree.

We have shown him all the evidence we have to show him JW is a cult but he continues to go along with what the WTS tell him, although he doesn't go to the meetings, coz he's stressed and not strong enough, mentally.

But there are some things that really annoy me, like the way he watches a tv programme where an animal is being killed, and he says something like 'oh, isn't that awful', and I think 'what about Armageddon??????' '5000000000000000000000 times worse!!!!!'.

I also hate the way that JWs are supposed to be these so much superior, nice people, and yet the only thing my dad ever says is negative. I especially get annoyed when he only says negative things to my little brother, who's 13, as I know that this is VERY damaging to a kid of that age, who needs praise and lots of it!!

There is no help for him, I'm just sick and tired of having to live with him, and his disgusting 'morals', and I hate the affect it has on my family, especially my little brother and my mum.

I try and balance out his 'detrementation' to the family.

Love

Chris

Scorpion

Sounds like your living with a caged Lion. Hopefully he will find the key to the cage and let himself out.

Hang in there

Thirdson

he doesn't go to the meetings, coz he's stressed and not strong enough, mentally.

I think you have more problems than just his JW followings. Is your dad receiving any medical attention at the moment? Does he get any visits from the "brothers"? It doesn't seem like your dad can be reasoned with at the present time. There may be some things that need to be resolved if you are going to have a stable family home. While you may be in a position to move out your youngest brother isn't. Have you discussed all the issues with your mom? Would you tell us some more.

Regards,

Thirdson

'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

JW72

Hi thirdson, My dad has had depression in the past and I think he may be getting it again. We have all tried to help him, but he is ADAMENT that the 'thruth' is the truth. All of us are very open with our mum and we discuss everything. There is one brother who visits now and again to deliver the mags. and a quick chat.
I'm sure u can appreciate a family can't lead a 'normal, happy' life when the 'dad' is a JW.

I was living away from home, but I moved back in order to 'protect' my little brother, my dad's not violent but he is 'damaging'.

Love

Chris

RedhorseWoman

It does sound as if your father has a problem with depression, and the "truth" won't help him. Speak to your mother and see if she might be able to speak to your family doctor about the problem. If he could get into counseling and get on medication, it might help him immeasurably.

Try to be patient with him and show him by example that those who have left the "truth" are actually in better shape--and kinder--than those still in. It sounds as if you're doing a good job here. What you have taken on is tough even for an adult to handle. Keep encouraging your younger brother....it sounds as if you are the major upbuilding influence he has.

claudia

Hi jw72, why was your mom jw until you and your bro were 6 and 7? What happened?

Tina

Hi JW,
Sorry to hear of the difficulty you and your family are undergoing.
Hopefully ,he can be convinced to see the Doc,maybe get some meds .
Also sounds like family counseling(not elders) is needed.(I know,easier said than done)....Wishing you courage and strength,Tina

Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny...."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense,you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."

emyrose

Hi Jw72,
" We have shown him all the evidence we have to show him JW is a cult but he continues to go along with what the WTS tell him, although he doesn't go to the meetings, coz he's stressed and not strong enough, mentally."

Maybe your dad is not ready to deal with the fact that he was fooled
and lured into a cult. Remember that the WTBTS uses mind control, and
your dad may have fallen under a stronger form of it then you think.
Life forms who one is and and how one looks at things. Perhaps he had a really tough life of which details you may not be aware of. Something in his past may have created a need in him for the comforts provided by JW teachings. Right now he still needs to belief as he does.
It seems that you love him despite all the heartaches he brings to you and your family. Focus on your love for him and find it in your heart to forgive him and understand his condition. Sometime in the
future he may come out of that nightmare and be more positive about
life. In the meanwhile, don't lose sight of things. He still loves
you, just not as you think he should. Don't let this interfere with
your love for him, and don't forget that he will always be your dad.
Stay positive and concentrate on the good things in your life, so as
to develop strength in will and character. This determination can help
you to lead a happy life.

My dad was never a JW, but he is similar to your dad in negativity.
He was never affectionate with me. He never developed a real relationship with any one in my family. I never saw him kiss my mom
once. In fact he has physically and emotionally abused all of us.
Yet, I found life became easier when I pushed all this aside and
focused on the few good things he did for us.
SOmetimes you just have to accept family members as they are and hope they will change for the better. If they don't
you can't let this prevent you from enjoying life. Perhaps your dad
never learned how to love or to display it in a healthy manner. You
obviously do, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to rescue your younger
brother. I commend you for this sacrifice you are making. Another sacrifice you may have to make is loving your dad even if he seems to not appreciated. As a result you may actually teach him how to love.

Thanks, Emyrose

JW72

Thanks everyone for your replys.

I was speaking with my mum last night about my dad and she told me that, thinking about it, my dad had never really shown her any love or compliments.

I think it is because he was brought up a JW, and the only compliment you get from JW parents is when you do something well concerning JWs.

So I suppose the only real confidence he has ever had has come from knowing the 'truth'. It's the be all and end all.

I think the only self-esteem he has (and it's very little, I think) comes from knowing the 'truth', I think if he loses that, he'll feel completely worthless.

I seem to understand better what's going on than he does, he, of cousre, thinks it all our fault, that we're being influenced by Satan etc.

I just feel that my childhood (and my brother's) were messed up from actually being JWs, and I don't want my little brother to end up feeling how I feel today.

I know we should try and love him, but he should try and love us, and he doesn't, I know the only time he'll truly love us is if we tell him we all wanna go back to the meetings, and that is NEVER going to happen.

I can't love him when I think about the damage he has caused and is causing my mum and my little brother.

He has had counselling and medication, anti-depressants and beta blockers.

They helped phsically but not mentally, because he knows the problem is that he should be active, but his family are never going to be.

Claudia, my mum left because she had questions that were never answered, u know the type of questions!!!

Thanks again for replying,

Love

Chris

"Out, but still being devestated by the WTS...."

LDH

Chris,
If I may. It may be the meetings that are wigging your dad out, and he doesn't even know it.

I mean, c'mon. All you ever hear is that you're not good enough, must do more, if your family is not JW get ready to kiss them goodbye at Armegeddon, etc.

It is a possibility.

Whatever you do, show him unconditional love. The kind JWs are not capable of giving.

Love had cracked harder nuts than your dad.

JE-HOVIS WITNESSES

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