DF'ed questions, please help.....

butalbee

Hello. :) I really haven't been around much for months now, er, be preoccupied, I guess. Anyone miss me?

I do I have a Q for you, and no it doesn't directly have to do with sex. Er, well.... A very good and close friend of mine has recently been Df'ed, which IMO is wonderful--I look at it as freedom, but he is now desperately trying to attend every meeting, talking hovah galore: drviving me nuts with his bible/WT studies, and says that he feels closer to Jah now more than ever. So while I see this as an opportunity to finally be free for him, he is trying to become a good sheep again. He's going to like 4 meetings faithfully every wk, talking about going to coming assemblies, etc...Says he'll only be out for like 6-9 mths. I don't understand when he was in, he secretly wished to get out, now out of the borg all he wants to do is get back in.

And PLEASE explain to me how a DF'ed dub can attend meetings etc, I don't get it, didn't the elders kick him out, how can he still be welcomed to attend?

Thank you,

Lara

shamus

Hi there! Nice to meet you...

I just started posting here a while ago... funny, how I now have like 1,000 posts under my belt... can you say addicted?

It is strange how people go back to the borg. My buddy got df'd and he went back 2 yrs. later... went to all the meetings, yada yada yada. Sounds like your friend has family in the troof, right? That is why.

What can you do?

Talk to him/her about what you have found out here and at other websites. Let him know about all the sexual abuse, the scandals with regards to the tobacco companies, all the lies. Get it in his head what this b.s. is really all about!

Anywayz, that's all that I can really suggest. Hopefully he'll come around.

home_and_dry

If all else fails, maybe getting reinstated might be just the thing to get him out the borg for good. I can tell you it worked for me.

Think about it. You get D'fd, suddenly your life is turned upside down and you have nothing and no-one. Especially if all your family and friends are Dubs. So there you are, all alone in the big bad world and you decide you can't hack it and want to go scurrying back to Dub World because even though deep down you know you were as miserable as hell while you were there, at this point it looks like a better proposition than staying all alone on the outside.

So you go back, you spend X amount of months kissing ass and being ignored at all the meetings, but you know that it will all be worth it in the end and after all, it was probably your own attitude that was to blame last time and thats why you were miserable, because really being in the Borg is the happiest place to be, right?

Then finally, after months of soul destroying grovelling, they let you back in and you get reinstated. Hurrah!!! Now you can get on with being happy and enjoying the fine association with your 'real friends' in the truth, not like those pesky worldlings who want to get you hooked on heroin at the first available opportunity.

So for a very short while you are the happiest person around. You commited the crime and did the time now you can start again with a clean slate and everything is wonderful. Until you realise that it wasn't your fault that you were so unhappy before. The Bro's and Sis's really are the most arrogant folk to walk the earth. You didn't imagine it. The elders are just as petty and full of their own self importance as they were before you were D'fd. And as for all the bull$hit they spout at the meetings, that was real too.

So soon enough you become disillusioned. All those months you spent suffering while you were trying to get reinstated, for what? The same old life as before. The one that made you miserable.

You've had a taste of the outside world and didn't like it, but that was because you were suddenly thrown out there, you didn't give it time and instead had the classic knee jerk reaction and went back to dubland. But there was potential in that 'big bad world', in fact alot more potential than in Dubland.

So you bide your time, plan carefully and eventually make you exit from Dubland. This time for good.

Englishman

A while back, I had an elder tell me that I could be back in after just 2 months,

That was soooo scary!

No-one has ever knocked on my door since I've been posting here though.

Strange.

Englishman.

home_and_dry

Just think what you could be doing in september, Eman! And isn't September a key month for Aux Pioneering?! You better give them a call now, as you wouldn't want to miss that opportunity!!

plmkrzy

Hi butalbee,

Sometimes things just have to run their course.

I know with me personally, the easiest way to push me in one direction is to push me in the other.

I am rebellious by nature.

Perhaps he is going through some kind of phase after having been recently ~~defied~~ defp’d. You know like...kick me out will ya!

As for going to the meetings, he is expected to do exactly what he is doing. Not everyone does that. Many never go back to another meeting again. Some transfer to another KH to make it easier to attend regularly, not having to be in the company of ~~friends~~, old friends.

mizpah

A person who is disfellowshipped from the organization is dealing with two burdens. First, there is the "sin" that has been committed. One may realize that he has sinned against God's moral principles as laid out in the Bible and may feel a tremendous guilt over this.

Then, there are the reprecussions that happen because one is disfellowshipped from the organization. The stigma of being labelled and the pain of being shunned are difficult loads to carry for any person. The lack of love and mercy in the congregations make it almost intolerable for many.

What is important for a person to discern is that the two are not mutally compatable. One who has sinned against God can be forgiven by God through sincere repentence and evidence of not repeating the error. When God forgives there is not probational time or conditions. His forgiveness is immediate and complete. In contrast, the Watchtower Society and its members seem to relish in the pain and suffering of the sinner. Even after one is reinstated, the person has to live with the knowledge that his sin has been talked about by those in his congregation as well as those in other congregations. This shame is now part of his/her personna.

In the balance one can easily see that it is much better to try to please God than to please the members in the Watchtower organization. The "love" that Jehovah's Witnesses boast about is a myth. Genuine affection and love is not based upon loyalty to an earthly organization. Rather, it is the kind of love that Jesus showed when he spoke of the shepherd who left his flock to seek out his lost sheep.

DFWnonJW

says that he feels closer to Jah now more than ever

Something oddly ironic there. Still shunned as if dead by "god's people" yet feels closer to god himself than ever.

unique1

And PLEASE explain to me how a DF'ed dub can attend meetings etc, I don't get it, didn't the elders kick him out, how can he still be welcomed to attend?

They can attend any meeting they want, they just can't speak to anyone. They may speak to an elder if they have something specific to say to them, but even the elders have been warned to be careful about this. Most Disfellowshipped people, sit at the back of the hall, then walk out with their head down immediately following the prayer so no one will try to speak to them. I have never seen a Df'd person in line to get their mags, though. I wonder how that works.

outnfree

I missed you!

Interesting point about the mags. Not being allowed out in service, years ago they wouldn't have needed to visit the magazine counter for their "placement" mags, they could just depend on their own subscriptions being mailed to their homes. Now, given that there is no mail service for subs, what DO df'd persons do to get the mags so that they can be diligently prepared for meetings [at which they can't offer comments anyway]?

outnfree

DF'ed questions, please help.....

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