Something to get off my chest!

by obiwan 18 Replies latest social family

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Well I've been here for over a year now and it's been great, extremely helpful. I have made new friends and found a place where I feel I belong, people with like minds.

    Anyway, 6 months before I started posting here my life was in the crapper or so I thought. I have maintained an assumption here that I'm single. My wife moved out and left me about 6 months before I started posting here and she said she would never come back. Now some may ask why not get a divorce, well I looked into it and there is a problem with her health or at least there was until recently. This problem was so serious that a judge would not grant a divorce with her medical problems unless she filed, and I still don't understand what her filing instead of me has to do with it. So after that she went and did her own thing and I tried to do mine. I never really considered myself married after that but I wasn't single either so I didn't try and find or get into a seriuos relationship since then. There have been people on this board that have tried to set me up but I've tried ti shy away from it and not put someone else in harms way.

    For the last month my wife and I have been working on putting things back together, and I'm happy about this. We are working on each other, but more importantly she has realized that life is not one big kegger. She has told me that she figured after the wedding life would resume with her going out with the girls all the time to the bars whenever and I tried to tell her a marriage does not work that way. I understand hittin the town with the girls once in a while but not three or four times a week. That's what broke the whole thing up...she wanted to party. Now she didn't do this before we were married or else I would have no room to complain, she just felt like partying alot.

    So with any luck in the near future we will be a family again, we are going to counseling and talking.

    I decided to maintain a singleness here because quite frankly, it's been very humiliating for me and to try and deal with this and putting the borg into the past and not repressing it would have been too difficult for me.

    I hope I have not hurt anyone, or lost anyone's trust because of this. I guess it was a very immature way of dealing with the situation. I am truly sorry.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    obiwan, the most important thing is that you and your wife are trying to be a family again. That is great!

    You have nothing to be sorry for. I didn't know either way. If you are happy, I am happy!

    Hugs to you and your wife,

    Tina

  • worldlygirl
    worldlygirl

    ((((((((obiwan)))))))))))

    We still LOVE you!!!

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    Maybe I missed something but I can't imagine why you would be sorry.

    This place is supposed to be for all of us folks to have somewhere to connect and relate, compare notes swap opinions and be supportive. I think. If not I will just fake it and continue anyway.

    You are not obligated to expose your whole soul on the Internet or reveal more then you are comfortable with.

    Best wishes to you and yours for a brighter future. Hope all works out. (((have a hug)))

    signing off now plum

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Thanks for the kind and warm replies. I know we aren't obligated to bare our souls, however since all of us here have been part of the borg and found much distrust in it I feel that a certain amount of truthfulness with each other and I feel I failed in that area.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Obiwan I think we would probably be upset if you had been coming here in the hopes of meeting someone and taking them for a ride. But as you say you have shied away from getting personally involved that way.

    You have done nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds like you have behaved honorably

    Thanks for letting us know and I hope it works out with the wife. It sounds like you have been on a bit of a ride yourself

    Take care

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I understand hittin the town with the girls once in a while but not three or four times a week. That's what broke the whole thing up...she wanted to party.

    I've been there. My ex-fiance was very much like this. When we were living together and she went out with her friends, I wouldn't complain. However, she wouldn't come home that night, or the next day, no phone call, nothing. Then I'd sit around worrying myself to death about her. Then she steps in the f****** door. "Hi honey" like nothing ever happened. "Where the hell were you?!??" "Oh, I slept over at Lynn's place". I asked her to leave me a note, or leave a message on the answering machine. She kept pulling this over and over without letting me know. She also started going out more often. I should've kicked her out.

    Anyway, she left me, I recovered, and I'm marrying someone who actually respects me. Things always turn out for the better. Obiwan, I hope your wife has done a lot of thinking, and I hope she puts more effort into making your marriage work. Good luck with the future!

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Thanks LadyLee, Nosferatu.

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Well, I don't see you as having done anything to be ashamed of, so I have no problem with you. I was never sure if you were single or married, and until recently, I thought you were alot older! Maybe that shows something about the maturity you display on this board.

    Hope that you and your wife are able to work things out so that you are truly together once again.

    Take care.

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Great, older, just what I needed! lol

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