Having children ??? did the Watchtower have an affect on your decisions ???

by run dont walk 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  blacksheep

  I really do believe it is ingrained into JWs that it's frivolous to actually WANT to have children. I know my JW sister claims all her 3 children were somehow "accidents." And I don't believe that for a minute. It seems to be somehow okay to get accidentally pregnant (while being married, of course). But few witnesses I knew claimed it was actually "planned"....hmm....

  I remember my mother bemoaning a trend of pregnancies in the congregation, saying something like, "they sure should KNOW how to prevent them, but they obviously are not doing that..." They obviously like sex. (She was a die hard witness). And when I told her of my second pregnancy, she asked "was it planned"? What a stupid question. I told her, "whether it was planned or not, we are delighted." (it WAS planned).

  Ugh. I really don't see ANY passages in JW literature that promotes having children. Good god, I recall having it drummed into married couples' heads that it was beneficial for them to "forego" sexual relations for a time to pursue spiritual interests, (what??)))..

  Warped, warped reasoning is all I can say.
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  drwtsn32

  I almost had the "snip snip" procedure done... and I was only 22 or 23 at the time. Good thing we came to our senses and decided against it. We do not have kids yet but some day we want to bless the world with some kids.
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  primitivegenius

  yeah they damn sure did.......... COULDNT GET ANY SO........ no children hahahahahah but im sure there are worse things.............. arent there? :P
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  LDH

  Oh boy, better not let JT see this thread....

  Mispah, was the old pioneer sister by any chance named Hilda?

  Lisa
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  Loris

  I remember a convention in the eighties, I think it was '87 or '88; there was a talk about Noah and sons and how there were no infants on board the ark. The title of the talk was "Responsible Childbearing in the Time of the End." Of course it became a study article in the Watchtower the following year.

  As we sat listening to the twisted reasoning of the speaker my darling daughter began to cry. She was a few months pregnant at the time. She was thinking that she had somehow displeased Jehovah. She was so teriffied that she had condemned herself and her children to death because she had done this horrid thing. It took quite a while for her to calm down that day. But throughout her pregnancy she felt that she was a walking advertisement of sinfulness and rebellion against Jehovah.

  That is one instance of their interferance into the private lives of their subjects. I am sure there are many thousands more.

  What thoughtless clods those old farts are. They give no thought at all to what they spew out of the sewers of their minds.

  Loris
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  yucca

  I remember in 1973 I was out in service with some sisters. These sisters were talking about how they go up to hollywood ( we lived in torrance) and went to bars and picked up men. I was really shocked to hear this. I said I would like to get married so my daughter would have a father and maybe I could pioneer instead of going to work every day. First thing I knew theres 2 elders at my door. They asked me did I have a sex problem? I was so embarrassed and my face was blood red. I said no . They said why did I want to get married with armagaddon coming. As if thats the only reason to get married. Now I am so grateful that I never married in that religion. Its a lot easier to leave if your single which I left in 1978. I never did marry and I have had a happy life out of the org. Its sad to be looking for armagaddon instead of watching for Jesus like the bible said. My daughter was looked down on because she got pregnant in early 70s. I saw people sell their homes and quit their jobs and go door to door and used the money to live on. anyway thankfully my family is out of that religion. we all left had enough of the lies.
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  Latin assassin from Manhattan

  It definitely had an affect and not a very good one at all. After spending 20 years of my life with them and seeing how children were discouraged from achieving anything in life other than 'placing' magazines, I decided that I would never have children in 'the truth'.

  I've known too many teenagers who grew up in the truth and later found themselves stranded because their parents wouldn't support them through college and in some cases, even through them out of the home for trying to improve themselves academically/financially.

  I remember how enraged I felt when, after so many years of being told not to pursue academic goals, the Watchtower Society published an article where it supported what they called 'necessary forms of education' such as COLLEGE! What happens to all the other members who after believing that college was 'bad' were now to old or to committed with other responsibilities (children, jobs, etc.) to go back to school?

  A Witness will never admit to you how many young members leave their congregations by the dozens because of neglect. You can keep a son or daughter knocking on doors for only so long before they realize that LIFE MUST BE LIVED TO BE APPRECIATED. You can't expect a child to love God when he/she is forced to live a life of poverty. Why encourage your children to be hard working if all they can't qualify for a job in the first place? Do you know how many intelligent, motivated and ambitious youths I've known who now stuggle through life only because their parents made them feel wrong for trying to earn a good living?

  If anything, the Witnesses are doing themselves a favor by not having a children.
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  wannaexit

  I remember a talk at a district convetion in the mid-eighties entitled "responsible procreation". In essence this talk discouraged having children because of the times.

  I remember it so well because I was in my young twenties and it really shaped the way I viewed having a family.

  I was determined to remain childless because of THEM.

  Thank goodness for those accidents that sometimes happen in marriages. That was the best thing that ever happened to me.

  I feel so bad when I see young couples in the org that are sacrificing a family to please some old goats in Brooklyn.
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  undercover

  Personally, the Watchtower rhetoric contributed to my decision not to have children some before I left. But now I still don't have the desire. Some might blame the Watchtower for taken the desire out of me. But I have never had the desire, don't have the desire now, and I don't ever anticipate having the desire. Parenting is the most important job a person can do, and I just don't want to do the work.

  I have the exact same sentiments. Maybe growing up as a JW subconsciencly affected my desire for children, maybe not. But even as a kid, I could see that a lot of parents were not happy having children. I could see that their life was put on hold because they had to dedicate everything to raising this child. I could see the tiredness and frustration. I heard the complaints and the stories of unfulfilled dreams. I knew at an early age that I did not want to go through that. I think the WTS knew that children distracted people from being "whole-souled"(read under complete control) in their service to Jehovah(read the organization). That's why they admonished everyone to not have children.

  I remember that talk at the DC sometime in the 80s. I remember a lot of the friends were upset by it. I didn't complain though. It made sense to me. I bought into the whole scenerio. If you know Armaggedon is coming and that terrible persecution is coming, why in the world would you want to bring a child into the picture? I remember people complaining about how the Society doesn't have the right to dictate if we should have children or not and I would always agree with the Society saying, "Could you watch as your child is taken away from you? Could you stand to watch your child beaten or even killed?". Looking back, I see that I bought into the whole doomsday thing, only to realize many years later how wrong it was and how damaging this was to many people in more ways than just deciding to have kids or not.
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  worldlygirl

  I've often wondered about this philosophy. Aren't they "shooting themselves in the foot" by encouraging people not to have children? Aren't most of the newly baptized simply children of current JW's that have been raised in the truth? In other religious groups, the focus is on children, since without them there are no future leaders (or members, for that matter.) I just don't understand their reasoning.