Feeling Powerless and Vulnerable

by Swan 11 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • Swan
    Swan

    The past several nights I have had very disturbing dreams that, while not the nightmares I used to have, still leave me feeling powerless and vulnerable. I feel like the other shoe will drop soon and I feel totally unprepared while just waiting for it to happen.

    In one dream I witness my niece as a little girl back when she was first starting grade school. Since I have never known my nieces and nephews as teenagers, I tend to dream of them as they were when they were children. She and her older brother are waiting at the school bus stop. I am watching through the kitchen window. The car arrives to take her to her kindergarten class. Her brother continues to wait for the school bus. The car door opens for her, but the car only slows, it doesn't stop. She goes to get into the car when a neighbor boy jumps into the rolling car in front of her. This causes my niece to make a misjudgment getting into the car and she topples back out onto the roadway. I run out to the road, gather her in my arms, and run back to the house, but I can't figure out what to do next. Nobody else seems concerned about the hurt little girl in my arms. The phone isn't where it should be. I just run around with her in my arms hunting for a way to help her.

    I guess I should also tell you that this is my niece who died last summer in a car crash.

    In another dream, an xJW from a congregation I used to go to has been locked up in jail by the Watchtower and I am trying to find a way to help him. His wife is visiting him when I visit. I feel guilty that I didn't find a way to help him. I tried raising some money to bail him out, but it wasn't enough. While I was busy raising money, I missed yesterday's visiting hours and I felt guilty. Several people from my old congregation were there. Some were there to gloat. Another was there to offer support, because, in my dream, he was secretly an apostate too. My brothers, who were his friends, didn't seem to care that their former friend was locked up. I am running around trying to find things that I can sell to raise his bail. I am angry that the police do nothing but follow the Watchtower's orders. They are so fooled by them.

    In a third dream, Simon's website plays a prominent role. I am in my aunt's house and I find out that she has been to this site. I don't know if she is secretly an apostate or just trying to find out stuff about me. I don't know how to confront her. Her husband, and elder, and her son, another elder come in and try to harass me. I don't know what to do because 1. I don't want to bring attention upon my aunt who may be apostate, 2. I don't want to hurt members of my own family even if it is to defend myself, 3. I don't know what they know or how they might use it against me next. I try to just leave, but I also want to warn them that an approaching train will derail and some of the boxcars will come crashing into their house. They will want to know how I know that, but I don't want to reveal that I saw it on this site because 1. I don't want to bring attention upon my aunt who may be apostate, 2. I don't think they will believe it if it comes from this site. I make it out of the house, but want to go back in to get them. Time is running out and I have to leave soon if I am to escape the disaster, but I want to try to save them too. Then the dream ends.

    So you see, they are just dreams, but the feelings I have when I wake up from them just won't go away. I feel very depressed and a have this sense of foreboding that something bad will happen, and I will be powerless to stop it or fix it. I hope that writing about these feelings and posting it here will help.

    Tammy

  • core
    core

    Without a doubt you are feeling the pressure of identity loss - inability to affect things as you would like

    Given that the effect on you is so serious PLEASE seek some help - talk to someone as (in addition to posting here) you will begin to regain control if you decide what you do/talk about

    I am not a psycholgist (cant even spell it !) but I understand and empathise exactly with you - I hope others may have more solid advice to help.

    Remember that others on this site are concerned and that you are not alone emotionally as many will empathise / be genuinely concerned.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Wow Tammy, those are vivid and detailed dreams.

    I'm no psychologist, I only know what I've read and heard. Dreams are the method your subconscious brain uses to try to piece things together and work out solutions. That's why you often hear someone say when confronted with a puzzling problem, "let me sleep on it".

    The brain borrows images and ideas, past and present, and puts them into what might be called a "blender". What comes out usually makes no sense, or sometimes a new thought can arise from a dream to actually help solve a problem.

    But dreams do not control what actually happens during our conscience existence. You are not as "powerless and vulnerable" during the day as you are when your subconcious mind "switches on" during the dream cycles.

    In reality, life's worries could be compared to cars coming at us on the roadway in the wrong lane. 9 out of 10 of them will "hit the ditch" before they ever meet up with you. If you worry about all 10, then you are draining yourself of the energy needed to cope with the reality. However if you only deal with the ONE rare thing (or worry) that actually DOES confront you, then you'll have the energy and the power to actually deal with it because you weren't obsessed with the other 9 things that never happened anyhow!

    I think it's good you spelled out what's on your mind. It may be a good first step in dealing with whatever it is.

    But again, you DO have the power to deal with things you want to -- the WT and the JW's have no power over your life any more. Your very presence on this board indicates this to be so. Just recognize the control you have over your own life, and don't let anyone inside those boundaries that you don't want there.

    Again the above are just my "takes" on what you said -- I am not a trained professional. Best wishes.

  • cat1759
    cat1759

    Tammy,

    Write down your dreams. It is a good way to expell them from your waking life. Write things that bother you.

    It seems like in each dream you are trying to save others. Maybe it is time to save yourself. Take time out for yourself. Realize you can't save the world but how you view it.

    Just some thoughts.

    Cathy

  • mizpah
    mizpah

    Gopher's advice seems very sound. From what I have read about dreams, they are a healthy outlet for the problems we carry around with us during the day. I've also read that mental patients do not dream. Perhaps, that is one of the reasons for their problems. So, perhaps, the realization of this will give you a different perspective about your own dreams.

    I've been out of the organization for many years. Yet, I still have dreams of attending assemblies and the Kingdom Hall. However, what has changed is that I now try to convince others that it is not "the truth." This does demonstate how powerful the subconscious is. Dreams don't have to make sense. Most dreams are not even remembered by most people. But we do dream for a purpose...and that purose seems to be a healthy one.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother
    I feel very depressed and a have this sense of foreboding that something bad will happen, and I will be powerless to stop it or fix it.

    Hi Tammy, I am no shrink (cant spell psycolo......) but I have learned in life that we make our own luck and that dreams do not come true. You are in charge of your life , make it happen!

    Take care , I love your posts.

  • kgfreeperson
    kgfreeperson

    Tammy, as I've thought about your dreams, it occurs to me that they might be "letting go" dreams. I have had similar dreams when I've managed to break a bad habit and am not worried about it anymore. Then I'll have the dreams about being caught again in the bad habit. On the other hand, your dreams might be pointing out to you that you are still accepting responsibility in areas where you have no responsibility and where you can do nothing but upset yourself. Either way, I hope such dreams can point you to happier waking hours! But if not, I would find myself a therapist to help get through being stuck. Best wishes!

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    Hi Swan.

    These dreams are to be expected after so many years as a Watchtower slave. Countless hours of Watchtower doctrine ; the thoughts of the dirty dozen down at Bethel being placed across the pages of the Watchtower for the whole world to follow.

    These Watchtower leaders think that they can control peoples lives like this. To an extent, they even control the lives of those people that have left the Watchtower for many years. This is a terrible thing; but we can break free from it. These terrible thoughts about Armageddon that come to our minds every now and again cannot be helped; it is our subconscious mind that makes us think this way.

    Please, for all of us and yourself, be strong at this time in your life. Show these sad little men at Kingdom Halls around the world that Watchtower doctrine doesn't mean anything to you anymore, and you can do this by remaining strong. Don't trust in the Watchtower God ; or anybody else's God. Trust in the God that helps you ; the God that helps you through your day. Screw the man made God of the Watchtower.

    Please, you are amongst friends here. If ever you want to talk, just talk . We are always here.

    Here are a few links that may help you, Swan. I really enjoy your posts.

    http://www.escapethewatchtower.com/Mind_control.htm

    http://www.escapethewatchtower.com/truth.htm

    http://www.escapethewatchtower.com/Armageddon_religious_hoax.htm

    Peace to you, my friend.

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    For once in my life, I agree with Hamas.

    When you change your life drastically, you can expect strange dreams that emphasize the emotions you are feeling either subconciously or conciously.

    You've got cult-imposed guilt eating away at you, you've got fear of Armageddon like Hamas said, you've got the loneliness of shunning, and the complete abandonment of everything you traditionally worked for - the Paradise is gone!

    Plus the stress of building a new life.

    It will take much strength - but strangely enough, I have a spiritual suggestion just like Hamas (strange days) trust in the real god, the one god who made you, not the one made FOR you.

    Peace.

    CZAR

  • Swan
    Swan

    Thank you all for your comments. Just getting these dreams and feelings in print and posting them here has been a big help in changing my perspective and feeling in control again. In addition, you have given me a lot to ponder. I know I will be able to handle whatever comes up, especially with good friends here to help me keep my perspective.

    Tammy

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