good guy or shmuck?

by DFWnonJW 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • DFWnonJW
    DFWnonJW

    Have you ever done a good deed for a stranger and then after, just felt odd about it for some reason?

    Today I got off work a few minutes early and went to pay a bill then go to the grocery store. But, as I was on my way to the store, there was an older man standing under a tree trying to catch my attention by waving a rolled up bill(s) and motioning for me to roll down my window. Of course, I did and he said he needed a ride home because his son hadn't shown up to get him. He had a basket full of grocery bags and it's hot here in Dallas! So, we loaded his bags in my truck and I took him home - several miles OPPOSITE where I needed to go, then helped him carry his bags upstairs to his door. Oh, and no, I did not take his money.

    Now, I'll help out pretty much anyone and I had no reason to doubt his story, but for some reason I just feel like a shmuck for this one. Can't put my finger on it really either. hmmmm Maybe that is it...that I'm just a sucker and put myself out for people at the drop of a hat (or the wave of a dollar I have no intention of taking! lol )

    ok...change of slant...
    What's the most you've put yourself out for someone - be they friend (or foe), relative or stranger?
    I once drove some jw "friends" from Texas to Boston - their car w/ largest available Y'all-Haul (I did say Texas right?) I mean, they needed help and I was free to do it but man, that was one LONG trip! I did have some elder pressure to help them out too. The payoff...they paid for meals, rooms etc. and my flight back to Dallas and I even felt guilty for them doing that.

    So, am I just a sucker? Please tell me I'm not the only one! Should I just look the other way? Maybe I need to be more harsh and uncaring - maybe I should move to NY for awhile? lol

    That's too much ado about nothing and I'm sure this will be one short lived thread. Just don't go asking for favors eh? Unless you're of the helpless woman class

  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    I don't think you were suckered into helping that older man.

    What I hate seeing people do is give cash to those "will work for food" sign holders. They stand out there because they can make tons of money. If they get $20 once every 15 minutes (a conservative estimate, IMO), that's $80/hr! Ugh.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    I think you did a wonderful, and generous, charitable deed for someone who obviously needed it! Don't feel bad. If it weren't for people like you, doing random acts of kindness, this world wouldn't be too good a place, would it? The only thing I would worry about was people that take advantage and cause harm to people that do them good deeds. I'm glad he wasn't a car jacker or something. I'm very proud to call you a fellow Texan!

    CG

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    You did a good thing - that man is probably very greatful for your kindness, and Karma smiles at you!

    As far as helping others - I like to think I help out where I can. In fact, my hubby often says I do to much (I still don't know what that means!). But, being "nice" does have its disadvantages - you can find yourself taken advantage of, and then feel "used" - never a good thing!

  • rem
    rem

    drwtsn32,

    And it's tax free cash money too!

    rem

  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    2 years ago my husband saw a car behind him in the other lane suddenly swerve and drive off the road. he stopped about 1000 yards up the road and went back to see if the woman was ok. a car behind her also stopped. apparently this car behind her was playing chicken with her for about 4 miles--it was mutual, they were cutting back and forth into each other's lanes and she thot he clipped her and over compensated and drove off the road. But he never touched her. My husband stayed with her until the police arrived and offered to call someone for her on his cell phone. He told the cop what he saw in his rear view mirror and left.

    A week later our insurance calls us and wants to know why we never reported the accident. As far as we knew there was no accident. No one touched her vehicle and my husband was only involved as a witness. It seemed she had the same insurance as we did and the other car reported that my husband cut him off and caused the accident. (She was in the fast lane, my husband was ahead of her in the slow lane. He was ahead of the other car that was also in the slow lane who was also behind her---so in order for him to cut him off in the slow lane he would have had to cross her lane of traffic-the fast lane, in which case she would have hit him way before he could have cut off the car behind her....??????)

    A month later I am served with papers, along with the company who is financing our truck and also the previous owner of the truck. I do not drive and was never even in the truck. It has been 2 1/2 yrs and in October we have to travel 600 miles at our expense to appear in court for this nonsense. This woman admitted in her deposition over 30 times that she never saw my husband nor was he involved. There was no accident. No one touched her car. The other driver was some punk-a$$ mormon kid who got sent off on his mission right away to try to keep him out of trouble. This woman has never seen a doctor about any supposed injuries, and when our lawyer asked if she saw a chiropractor she asked what that was. She has 3 kids from three different men and the last one is in jail. And she also won a lawsuit for exactly the same thing--permanent injuries(the SAME permanent injuries--how many times can you permanently injury the same body part?)--about 4 yrs ago from another car wreck. Can our good-for-nothing TN lawyer get rid of this frivolous lawsuit--apparently not. He can't even get me dropped off it even tho I was not there, or even have a driver's license!

    Last week, we have to renew our insurance, but since it is a new state we had to change it. well guess what? our old insurance shows that a claim was paid on her behalf. (of course it was paid---she had the same insurance that we did and they paid for her vehicle damage.) So our insurance went up 50%.

    My husband will NEVER stop for someone in trouble evr again.

    And I think I am going to move back to Ruby Ridge and say $#@% everyone(hey Craig is that better than saying the F-word.....)

    Ravyn

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    I tend to think that acts of kindness will one day be paid back.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    During my christian phase i put effort into helping others. Among other things, i spent money and a lot of time on two street people. One, an old man, i had gotten to know slowly over a period of yrs, as he panhandled close to where i lived. He lived w/took care of a psychotic woman who was quite a bit younger than him. No, it wasn't sexual. If he didn't bring home enough money, she would chew him out for hours on end, hit or kick him. He ran away a couple of times, but she would track him down, and he would submit again. When i started helping him, she hated my guts.

    I started socializing w him. I moved them a few times. Once, i went to court along side him to have the woman commited. She outsmarted us and was only in for a day. One summer, she wandered into a group of pentle type black christians who were meeting outside in a park. They did exorcisms on her, and she was normal for about 6 months. But soon, eveything ws back to the way it was before.

    Later, still in help mode, i did a few things for some coke/crack/alchahol addicts in the nieghborhood. These people have a sixth sense for detecting a person w a soft spot and getting past defences. Once they get somebody, it's really hard to shake them off. You gotta tell them to their face to *uck off, don't answer the door, throw them out, and/or call the police.

    Needless to say, i rarely help anymore. Most of these people put themselves where they are. The surface problems that you see, drugs, booze, etc, are not their real problems. Their real problems are emotional/psychic. If they refuse to face that or refuse to work on that, *uck 'em, i say. I have to help myself, now.

    SS

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    DFW,

    There should be more people like you in the world.

    A for you for being a nice guy.

    Robyn

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Yo dfw, you're a schmuck for not believing in being the nice guy . Don't you know that nice guys always win?

    What's the most you've put yourself out for someone - be they friend (or foe), relative or stranger?

    I think my experience takes the cake. Hell, I think I deserve some sort of humanitarian award for my experience. We were using the mens' locker room of Presby Hospitals Health & Fitness facility as a photography location. An old (97yrs+ at least, lol) man came round the row of lockers I was working at lighting, wearing only his jockeys. The jockeys didn't make the turn with him, and at his age, there was no simple reach-down-and-pull-up-yer-damn shorts manuever available to him. Yep, I had to pull his shorts up for him. I suppose I didn't actually have to, but I'd a been a bastard if I hadn't. To quote Bill the Cat, aaackk!

    You won't be seeing "SixofNine, Male Nurse" on your fall line-up anytime soon.

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