Why does this crap happen to me?

by Darkknight757 11 Replies latest social physical

  • Darkknight757
    Darkknight757

    I swear I must have bad luck or just happen to be in the wrong place at the right time or maybe I'm just blowing this out of proportion.

    So the other night my wife and I are packing the car to head home from vacation in the Smokeys in Tennessee when I get the brilliant idea to take out the garbage at 9:30 at night.

    I walk in the dark to the caged garbage can with a flashlight, put the trash away and walk back to the house. Afterward I decide to load up the car. As I'm bringing the case of wine we bought to the car I see this big black thing out of the corner of my eye. Its a friggin black bear!!!!😳 He was about 10 feet away!!! I nearly crapped myself as he looked at me as if I had a treat for him or something. Long story short he finally walked back down the driveway and tried to get in the trash. There was no sign of him in the morning so that was good but my silly wife wanted nothing more than to get pics of the thing.

    Now the next morning we are all packed and ready to go. We decide to hit Burger King in Severville to grab ourselves a sammich. Well I gotta take care of the morning business. Thing is there is only one stall and one urinal in this particular bathroom. So I'm in there doing stuff when a guy walks in. He sees that the toilet is occupied and he sounded like he wanted in. I said I'll be out in a minute.

    Well the guy leaves. So I'm thinking maybe he's waiting outside. 30 seconds later he comes back in. I hear him kinda lingering, then the urinal flush, then he hurried out. "Ok. Maybe he took a wiz and left", I thought. NO!!!! He unloaded his ass in the urinal!!!!!😷😷💩💩.

    I've always thought it would be funny to take a dump in a urinal but guess what? It ain't funny at all. Gross!!

    Guys at work got a kick out of it though and they are mad I didn't take a selfie with it.😬

    Anyways end rant. Tonight we talk to the in laws about our "spiritual condition". That ought to be a blast. They are deep in and they still think I'm an Elder. Should be interesting.

  • Giordano
    Giordano
    You'll do fine with the in laws.......your on a roll. The bear never laid a paw on you and you had the one and only toilet all to yourself. Here's my advice buy some Lotto tickets!!!
  • stan livedeath
  • Darkknight757
    Darkknight757

    Well looking at it that way maybe your right lol. Not sure what to tell the in-laws. I don't think the child molestation talk will go over good but they are going to want to know why I'm no longer serving. Thinking of doing the "don't trust God" card for now. Hopefully that pleases them for the time being.

    Love the video Stan!😂

  • millie210
    millie210

    Out of all of this, talking to the in laws sounds the scariest to me....

    whats a bear? (next to a mother in law?) :smile:

  • atomant
    atomant
    Did he have the runs?
  • SafeAtHome
    SafeAtHome
    Well that story is better than looking at someone's vacation pictures! What a hoot, you gave me my laugh for today. Hey, maybe you can tell that story at the next assembly as an example of what could happen if you choose not to take the kiddies to Bethel for vacation.
  • Darkknight757
    Darkknight757

    The guy obviously had explosive diarrhea. I mean it looked like the urinal was hit with a shit grenade. The smell was incredible. No so bad that I couldn't eat my sammich though.

    I just hope it wasn't the cook that did it. 😥

  • Darkknight757
    Darkknight757

    By the way talk with in-laws went good. For now I told them I am no longer an Elder because of events from last year. I didn't get into great detail about how they have been lied to their whole life and that Watchtower IS Satan himself. Just going to do a little at a time.

  • zeb
    zeb

    glad the bear didn't decide you were a snack!

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