I've had enough.. (page 2)

Divergent

They can't disfellowship you if there is only one witness (your mother). That's why the first JC scheduled on Aug 1st COULDN'T proceed as planned, hence the need for a 2nd one. Unless you go and confess (which they are hoping you would do), there is nothing they can do about it

DesirousOfChange

They can't disfellowship you if there is only one witness (your mother). That's why the first JC scheduled on Aug 1st COULDN'T proceed as planned, hence the need for a 2nd one. Unless you go and confess (which they are hoping you would do), there is nothing they can do about it ~ Divergent

Former elder here. What Divergent posts is correct "by the book", however typically they are not to form a JC unless they believe they already have their 2 witnesses. If all they have is your Mother's testimony that you are "living in sin", they should have formed an investigative committee first.

IF you just ignore the JC, it is possible that they will convene and if they have what they believe are 2 witnesses to "fornication", they can DF you in absentia, and they would likely try to notify you before it is announced. It is not recommended that they put anything in writing, but the Service Desk in the past has approved a letter simply stating the DF decision was made, give you 7 days to contact them, and then make the announcement that "Raven is no longer one of JW."

If they really do not have a 2nd witness, you may "skate" on it this time. Be forewarned that elders have been known to "camp out" at a person's home to observe someone of the opposite sex spending the night. (same as "fornication")

If you want to be certain that you are NOT DFd, you can agree to attend the JC and deny deny deny. "Mom misunderstood." Etc Etc. And DO NOT say anything derogatory about the F&DS/GB.

Good luck with whatever you choose, Doc

The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

Hadriel

They have no authority over you. So don't acknowledge it in any way. Plus sticking something in your door circumventing the mail system is invalid. If they want to send you something let them mail it and then take it to the post office and say return to sender that the addressee does not live there.

raven

Good Point DESIROUSOFCHANGE -

Do you think that since their 1 witness is my mother ( apparently they claim they have 2, but the second is anonymous,- I don't buy it since I live over an hour away in a different town than where the congregation is located.. I've asked others about this on the forum and they think that the anonymous tipper was my mother, so then she claimed that they have 2 witnesses to trick me into turning myself in. ) Why do you think they're calling me in for a second JC? Since I skipped the last one I was invited to on August 1st? I assumed they would have made their decision after I didn't show on the first.. Why are they inviting me to a second? Is it because there really is no anonymous tipper? So they're trying to get me to confess on my own?

Sevan

Wow, so sorry your mother sold you out like that. This cult really perverts normal family relationships.

Most normal families have a ride or die mentality and back up their own.

All of my bio family are not JWs and they are like that. Seeing their enduring support and unconditional love is one of the things that helped wake me up, since it is such a contrast to the organization.

DJS

Raven,

What some of us told you would happen, on your first post about this, is happening in the exact manner we described.

The same advice is applicable now as then. If you don't care now or forever that they DF you then do nothing.

If you do care get a lawyer and have the lawyer send them a threatening cease and desist letter. It may or may not matter, likely not since it has proceeded to this point.

Same advice we gave you months ago.

If you meet with them you will have to lie, lie and grovel or hope they are both blind and forgiving in order to keep from being DFed.

And then you will have to immediately change back to being a good little chaste dub girl. Or rinse and repeat.

raven

DJS- I'm not necessarily saying I'm at a loss of what to do, I'm simply showing and explaining this saga of events.

I didn't attend the last JC invite held on August 1st.. I was told that if I didn't attend the first (on this forum through others experiences) that I would have been DF'd through absentia. Secondly as far as your advice on obtaining a lawyer, I would prefer not to drag this out into a legal matter - Do you know how much that would cost me?

I'm choosing not to meet with these people but I am just curious on what to expect if I follow through with blowing them off for the second time, or why they are continuing to invite me to JC's.

Divergent

Raven:

Do you think that since their 1 witness is my mother ( apparently they claim they have 2, but the second is anonymous,- I don't buy it since I live over an hour away in a different town than where the congregation is located.. I've asked others about this on the forum and they think that the anonymous tipper was my mother, so then she claimed that they have 2 witnesses to trick me into turning myself in. ) Why do you think they're calling me in for a second JC? Since I skipped the last one I was invited to on August 1st? I assumed they would have made their decision after I didn't show on the first.. Why are they inviting me to a second? Is it because there really is no anonymous tipper? So they're trying to get me to confess on my own?

BINGO!

DOC has a point... BUT if they REALLY did have 2 witnesses, then WHY did they NOT proceed with the JC on 1st Aug as planned? Unless they DON'T, of course

DJS

Good luck Raven. You seem like you are in a good place mentally and emotionally with your exit from this vile cult.

Full speed ahead young lady. Don't bow. Don't curtsy. Don't look back. Ever.

raven

DIVERGENT- YES! I feel like I am piecing this puzzle together.. I was mind blown when my mom first told me that the elders have an anonymous tipper, I demanded to know who it was and she says: " It wasn't me, but you know Jehovah always reveals the truth.." And then I came to thinking that someone anonymous who attends same congregation as I once did is pretty much impossible being that I live an hour + away, in a different town, the house is also nestled back in neighborhoods here ( very hard to find ) .. There is no way someone would have any proof of me living with my boyfriend, unless they actually stalked me and followed me into the house.. So I've concluded my mother lied and claimed an anonymous tipper outed me to the elders so that I would give in and confess on my own. She is the ONLY one that knows. So therefore I don't think they can just go off of her word only right? This is is definitely why I keep getting invited to JC's. I'm wondering if they'll keep sending letters each time I don't show up? I've already blocked all of their phone numbers, and the KH number they've tried calling me on too.. I move to a new home next week and like I mentioned, I will not be giving my mother my new address ( she obviously gave it to the elders so that they could do this ) - I feel like once I move, maybe the contact will cease. If they continue to send letters to my old address, maybe the new homeowner will return it to them on my behalf LOL!

I've had enough..

Share this