Fade Fail: Not as Easy as I'd Like

by Hadriel 34 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Anders Andersen

  I couldn't fake it for more than 2 weeks even. It's very hard indeed. Not that I wanted to even.

  Make sure you take care of yourself first Hadriel. While the probably best way to wake up others is when still posing as a true believer (no anti-apostate guard up) your first responsibility is your own (mental) health, and your family.

  Others who can be woken up, will wake up eventually even without our help. So keep it up as long as you can, but please don't destroy yourself in the process.

  
  

  Take care!
• 

  Hadriel

  Thanks everyone appreciate the comments. I wish there was this book you buy and you follow these 10 steps and you're out no harm no foul. But of course no they hose you on the way out too!

  Not sure why I can't just keep it in and ignore it all but it drives me crazy to lie at every turn it seems.
• 

  talesin

  Not sure why I can't just keep it in and ignore it all but it drives me crazy to lie at every turn it seems.

  It would make me crazy, and that's why i gave it up at age 18. All I have to do is hear that phrase "would you consider" or "have you changed your mind" and I freeze. It's a very hard row to hoe. Stay strong! xx
• 

  Hadriel

  Yep it's making me crazy for sure. Kinda surprised to be honest but it's bugging me.
• 

  Sabin

  Hadriel have read the book by Bonnie Zieman, Exiting the JW Cult?. well worth taking a look at. Helped me tremendously & many others on the forum.
• 

  Hadriel

  No I haven't actually.
• 

  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Hi Hadriel-

  I get it. I have been working on my unsuccessful fade for almost 2 years now..ugh! I am a very upfront and genuine person, so this piece of my life currently feels very inauthentic. Mentally I know fading is just a game, but it feels like I am losing pieces of the core of who I am by putting on this charade. So though I haven't any advice for you, I commiserate.

  It sucks!
• 

  Hadriel

  Boy @Eyes I couldn't have said that better. Exactly how I feel.
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Hey there Hadriel!

  I totally get what you mean! Eventually something busts though if you tread the line while pretending...... Your emotional and mental health is vital, so battling the cognitive dissonance is difficult!

  Dont allow yourself to get to a point where you snap a comment that can't be undone.

  Keep your dignity, keep your poise, and remember no one has the right to affect how you feel except yourself!

  On a lighter note, you mentioned this above: " I wish there was this book you buy and you follow these 10 steps and you're out no harm no foul. "

  Ok here you go:

  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yNxO8Nj-JPo
  
• 

  rebel8

  Well there is a 10-step book actually, but no truthful book says there's something simple or painless.

  You could get jumped out of the gang, slowly fade out of their view and still take some lashes, or flee and cut off contact so they can't punish you to your face.
  

  I wonder if there are some retorts you could memorize for the moments when they spit back the twisted old claptrap. Something that sounds like old school loyalty but takes it one step too far--for example--like how jehulahoop's organization has always had Thee Truth, even when the Golden Age wrote that germs didn't exist and the cure for the common cold was to jump up and down naked.

  For your enjoyment: Golden Age Goodies