What if JWs had never been part of your life......?

by Scully 31 Replies latest jw friends

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  acsot

  A good question, and one I was thinking about a couple of days ago. Of course we’d all like to think we’d be so much better off - better educated, financially more secure, having written The Great Novel and composed several symphonies, but I actually doubt any of those things would have happened .

  If I judge my life by the kids from my home town, the non-JWs, and how they have turned out, I’m probably better off now. I probably would have still been smoking, perhaps been a single mom on welfare, longing to go to university but with no money and living in a go-nowhere, nothing-to-do little hick town. Maybe not, maybe somehow I would have been able to shake the dysfunctional family life as well as the dysfunctional school kids who would have been my friends and gone on to a brilliant career as a writer/journalist .

  I feel as though I’ve gotten a late start in many things: buying a house, going to university, saving for my retirement, but when I look at many of the people I work with (I’m a legal assistant in a large law firm), my life is not that much different from theirs, and in some ways I’m much better off. Maybe those years of frugal living as a pioneer actually paid off somehow!

  I really don’t know, it’s hard to know. One thing for sure, I enjoy and appreciate things more! And that’s one thing I realize about my life post-borg - I want to do many more things than those people around me, such as university, more travel, etc. It’s not because they have degrees already or whatever - I think I’ll be in school for the rest of my life ‘cause it’s just so damn interesting! I’ve already traveled extensively but want to do more. I feel as though I’ve been freed and there’s a whole world out there to discover. Others have not necessarily done the same things I have or traveled the same places, but many also do not seem to have desire to do so - going home after work and watching t.v., plus a Saturday evening at a club is as exciting as it gets.

  So being a JW perhaps hasn’t affected me as much as I would like to blame them for!

  Geez, I didn’t think I’d be writing a book in response - can you tell I’m not at work?
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  sxybrwneyes

  I definitely would have had my degree and I think I would probably be alot better off financially but all in all I think being raised a JW has definitely made me a better person, with better morals.

  I think if it weren't for the org I would have probably been in alot of trouble. I would have been screwing around and might have gotten pregnant at a young age and ending up being a single parent. Because of the org. I waited till I was 25 to have sex (no I didn't get married, I fornicated with a worldly guy and I liked it so much I couldn't stop. I got privately reproved but after that I quit going to meetings).

  I am bitter in a way that the org took away the best years of my life but at the same time I think there was a reason for me being in it and I know I am a better person because of it.
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  Undecided

  Who knows where life would have taken you? I had a very good life as a JW, but I think it's better now that I have finally realized that life should not be controlled by some religious group of men. Financially I probably would have been better off than I am now but I will never know.

  Ken P.
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  Country_Woman

  I think that there would be no big changes: I was 50+ and settled when we got involved.
  I'm in the same job now as I was then.
  Same house - same friends.
  The "friends" in the org are no real friends (just acquintancies).
  
  Today I know more about religion then 8 years ago - and that's fine.
  Being in the org and out, left me with a slight disappointment.
  Like dreams that are not fulfilled....
  
  There was a really change (due to the org.)in Viv's life: she quitted her accountancy study on high school and went to university for a historical study.
  She should have finished her study by now - having a good job - but hell, now she will get a title....
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  Ravyn

  the possibilities are endless I guess. I would have hoped that my parents were the kind to encourage education and from how they treated me as a kid, I think they would have been. I would not have had the money to go to any college I wanted to, but I would have worked for a grant or scholarship, which I would have been able to get because I turned a couple of offers down as a JW. I probably would have gone to Nursing School or maybe Teaching. I wanted to be a Teacher when I was in about 4th grade, but I am not sure I would have satyed with it. I have medical talent it seems. If I had the right encouragement and the backing I may have even gone to Medical School to become a surgeon. I like that kind of thing. I used to do autopsies on my dead pet rats when the occasion arose.

  I would have been a pagan much much sooner, there would have been a chance I might have been Catholic too as my grandfather was Catholic. I would have known my mother's side of the family, cousins and aunts and uncles who I never knew as a JW. I know I would have started having sex at about age 14 or 15. Probably with my childhood sweetheart. I might have had kids, but if I had gotten pregnant and decided I did not want to be I would have gotten an abortion. I don't think I would have smoked or done drugs--that is just not me anyway. I would have been very very popular in school.

  I would have had a career for many years now instead of being an X pioneer(put that on a resume!)

  Maybe I would not have traveled so much, most of the traveling we did as a family was with the excuse of serving where the need was great(even tho now I know it was serving where my dad had not yet bonked all the other elders' wives...) but if my health would have permitted me(and who knows how much the whole JW thing has contributed to my health problems!) I think I may have even gone into the military. I would have loved to be an Air Force or Marine doctor. I kinda think I would have been good at the JAG thing too.

  There are alot of things that I take responsibility for in my life, but there is also the FACT that I was born and raised third generation JW and they ruined whatever chances I might have naturally had to succeed. I did not have the choices that someone who was not a JW did. I am 41 now and sick. I missed the window on success and no matter how hard I try to pick up the pieces and go on---it IS their fault. I am not always bitter, some days are better than others. But I have many many regrets and I know I could not have done any of it differently at the time under those circumstances.

  Ravyn
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  La-Bellamargarita

  Hi all,

  This is such an interesting question. I have no real idea what I would be like today if I had never been a Witness, but I suspect that as an individual I would be pretty much the same sort of person that I am, after all the old genes do have some say in what we become.

  However, I am sure that I would have had some kind of career today. Part of being a Witness was having the opportunity, or so one always believed, of showing love for ones fellow man soI guess I would have exploited that desire within myself to a more useful purpose, perhaps I would have become a teacher, nurse whatever.

  Still no point in looking back is there its the future that counts. Now that I have left what was for me the sad and confusing world of the J.W. I see each day as a challenge and an opportunity to be happy - not feel guilty - not worry about being a "sister in a divided household" just get up in the morning and live. I haven't quite got round to putting myself first in life, but you never know I might even manage that one day. One last thought if I hadn't walked that particular road I wouldn't be speeking to all you lovely people today!!
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  c5

  This one is a hard one. There are so many twists and turns we have taken in our lives that we have ended up today where we are at. It is all unique! If my family had not become jw's, there could have been thousands of ways my life would be different than today.

  Don't know if I would have gone to college or not, that one is a toss up since my family never had the means to help with it nor the desire to encourage it even without the jw influence.

  It seems to me deep down, past jw experience or not, I still would have ended up being the same I am today. Perhaps I may not have learned some of the lessons I have, but I cannot see myself as being anything other than myself no matter what religious or non-religious background I could have had.

  My basic opinion has always been that being a jw does not necesarily make one better morally etc like a lot of jw's like to believe. You know how some of them used to say "If it wasnt for the truth I'd be a drug addict or have aids......." or " I'd be dead without Jehovah's help....". I think I would have ended up with the same morals that I have today, jw past or not.
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  Simon

  I think the WTS had a lot to do with my parents splitting up as they did. Without that I would possibly have been happier emotionally and done better at school - not being told that it didn't matter (or that I would never go to the high school in this system). I was often top of my class in many topics and could have applied myself better, got more qualifications etc... which would have helped career wise.

  As it is, I've worked my way up, got experience but really done it the hard way.

  Still, withou the WTS I would not have met my wife and wouldn't have the family I have now - not that you would really ever have known the people you are with now but once you do, you would not wish them away.

  I am who I am, I am not my experiences but I learn from them and they have an influence on me.

  We can never tell what might have been. I would have liked to have done different things with my time though, especially when I was younger.
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  simplesally

  I would have been a famous movie star or super-model.......

  I would not have broken up with a great guy who wanted to stay Catholic and get married. He said it would be ok for me to be a JW and he stay Catholic, but I was adamant about raising kids the JW way and that we'd be divided at Holiday and birthday times. I would not have quit my job so I could pioneer and taken many part time jobs to pay bills. I am again making the money I used to, but at my age, I would be so much farther ahead financially: savings accounts and IRAs.........ugh, it makes me so mad that I lived paycheck to paycheck for so long.
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  christopherceo

  I would not have had to endure a horrible marriage ( which included some of the strangest in-laws I could have possibly ended up with) that I was told only death or adultery could get me out of. Fortunately for me, she took care of the adultery part. But I hated feeling stuck