Opportunities you had to give up as Jw?

Overrated

I could of gone to a two college program. But Gee-hovah didn't like it and my parents wanted me to sling watchtowers and awakes. It's a good thing I'm in a profession that I can work and pay the Bill's and finally left the "Trooth ".

polish clarinet

For me, it was exactly 4 years ago. I was caught playing "we wish you a merry christmas" with my wind band and DEMANDED by 2 elders to choose between "Jehovah's organisation" and "my music" with it's worldy members and "pagan works". Even if I would choose to remain in the organisation, I would be "helped for several months" to understand how serious my sin was...

When I left them, I knew I would never be back ! I wrote them a lettre who was not to dissociate but to explain why I would not attend meetings anymore nor share in the field service. I was very attentive to each word I used and then refused to meet 2 elders ou 1 elder with the "circuit overseer" but I proposed to share a good beer with an INDIVIDUAL elder, as friends for 30 years and have a conversation from man to man... THEY refused !

No regret !

Biahi

I lost a normal childhood, and an opportunity to go to college. I’m a frustrated teacher. I also lost opportunities when young to sexually experiment much more than I did. Too much guilt.

Overrated

We never had a normal childhood, Gee-hovah don't like this or that but is really dictated by men in NewYork and you're parents bought into this stuff hook ,line and sinker. And anyone with a thinking mind can see it is crap. But if you speak up against it you are the devil and evil. Not someone that sees a con job.

Magnum

I had a good childhood - JW mother / non-JW father. I was allowed to associate with non-JWs, and I was very rarely dragged into the ministry because my mother rarely went in service. The worst part was the meetings. I grew up in a fabulous rural setting and would be out playing in the woods, fields, etc. with my friends and would hear that yell to come home because it was meeting time (three times per week). Then, when I was in high school, my mother became almost inactive. I went to almost no meetings, played football and basketball, and dated "wordly" girls.

So, I didn't lose that much of my youth; it was the prime of my life that was lost. Because of my JW indoctrination, I had no aspirations for the future; the indoctrination was always lurking in the back of my mind. When in high school, I made no plans. I was a deep thinker and questioner, so I really started to do study and analysis of JWdom when I graduated from high school. I wasn't fully convinced of the Bible's authenticity and that JWdom was right, but I leaned in that direction. I started working part time and going to college just to buy time because I wasn't ready to give in to JWdom; I just wasn't sure yet. I was not going to college to prepare for the future; I was just sort of in limbo. In college, I didn't follow any particular course of study for a major; I just took random courses, trying to sort things out.

I don't remember why, but I ended up taking calculus and physics (the calculus-based version, not the algebra-based version), and my already existing love of math and science were stimulated. I ended up transferring to a major university, well-known for science and engineering. There, I continued to take more advanced math, advanced physics, engineering, organic chemistry, etc., still not really following a course of study for a major even though I had to declare one. While still in college, I finally decided to become a JW and completely lost interest, not in math and science, but in schooling. This was at a time when the end was thought to be extremely imminent.

I left school, started pioneering, and after that, my life was a blur. The next thirty-five years were filled with exhaustion, misery, frustration, sacrifice, suffering, and deprivation. I made almost no money and was at times without medical and dental care and transportation. I never went hungry, but there were times when I saw people ordering nice big Chik-fil-A sandwiches and tall drinks, and I had to eat a prepackaged 69cent muffin and drink water from a fountain. I can't specify out here in public all my loving conditions, but I can tell you that they were harsh.

I now have no retirement and no prospects for such. I have friends who retired in their mid-50's. One retired at 54 as a federal probation officer. He gets really good money for life and great lifetime benefits. Even his social security benefit will be higher than mine because I made so little money.

It just sickens me. At over 60, I just started a new job today. It's depressing to just be starting a new job at 60+, knowing you can never retire, that you have nothing to look forward to.

So, the opportunities I gave up? Just having a normal life, having weekends to look forward to, having time after work each day to look forward to, having vacations, making money, having a retirement, etc. The only thing I didn't really lose was a mostly normal childhood.

P.S.

I was recently talking with a JW I've known for decades and with whom I can be open. I mentioned a non-JW we both know who worked a normal job, retired mid-50's, and is set for life. This JW, who is stubborn and doesn't catch on to things well, said "Yeah, but he didn't like his job."

I responded by explaining that I didn't like what what I did as a JW, either. I was fulltime in the ministry, I often had two of the five service committee positions (often the two hardest and most time-consuming), etc. I said that, yeah, this guy might not have liked his job, BUT, HE WAS GETTING PAID FOR IT, whereas, not only was I not getting paid, I was donating to my "employer" the whole time. He got afternoons off, nights off, weekends off, health benefits, paid vacations, and retirement. I got nothing; I actually got worse than nothing, since I paid JWdom to work for it.

The JW couldn't get the point, or at least wouldn't acknowledge it.

LongHairGal

MAGNUM:

I want to wish you a Happy New Year.

I also despised talking to JWs who were dense (deliberately so in my opinion) when you tried to make an important point to them about some situation or hypocrisy related to the JWs.

Yes, it’s true that that guy didn’t like his secular job..many don’t. But, the distinction is that they are getting PAID - as opposed to JWs who are knocking themselves out for Free. Of course, some fools would say they are being ‘blessed’ 🤮. Yeah, they can keep their blessings.

I think many JWs will not be honest with you when you attempt to point out things to them. Probably if they were to do so..maybe it would call into question everything else they believe in and cognitive dissonance will kick in and it will send them into a depression..I had fruitless discussions with married JW women I was friendly with when I attempted to tell them what I encountered and how I was criticized for supporting myself - meanwhile a man was supporting them!!

People in general are sometimes unable to think about other people’s difficult situations. But, in my experience, JWs in particular are in denial about difficulties caused by following the religion’s advice and many other things!

joey jojo

Its endless, and it starts from childhood.

If someone comes from a family that values higher education, the parents will begin grooming their kids and steering them towards that goal from an early age in the form of tutors, encouragement, discipline - 99% of JW kids miss out on that.

Important milestones that every kid gets to celebrate are ignored by jw parents. Also, normal relationships are difficult with non-believers at school, I was nervous to bring kids home to meet the family. Too much involvement with sport was frowned on, including the relationships that comes from those. Any errors that normal kids made- like experimenting with sex, are punishable by shunning, if you are baptised, or at the very least, private reproof and shaming in front of your family members.

Then there are the years lost in adapting to ever changing doctrine.

mynameislame

I suspect I am actually better off from being raised as a JW. Neither of my parents were into parenting so I think being a JW may have keep me out of trouble.

Admittedly I probably had it pretty good as a JW too.

There was enough people around age in my area that I could pick and choose my friends.

I got to spend time with people from several different walks of life, both race and affluence.

My dad was an elder, which in itself is proof that god directs nothing in the JW world. But being an elder's child definitely has benefits.

And I got out early enough in life to get a job, save for the future and do a few of those things I was putting off until the new system.

Vidiot

More than a few attractive “worldly” girls who would have dated me, had I thought it was OK to ask.

fulano

My life started when I was 41. So I gave up 40-50%.

Opportunities you had to give up as Jw?

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