Fear

by onacruse 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Mulan

  I've always been inquisitive, just have to know how things work and the causes of it all. My Dad used to tell me I am like a cat full of curiosity. Weird thing is once I figure it out, I'm done which is how I left the B'org.......once I figured out G_d wasn't behind it I was gone!

  Me too Kate. It describes me exactly. I didn't get out, physically, right away, but mentally and emotionally and spiritually, it was all over as soon as I "got it". I didn't leave physically immediately because we did the slow fade to protect the family.

  As I tell Dave "I just have to know. Too curious for my own good sometimes though."
• 

  onacruse

  Wow! So many good observations here. Just a couple quick comments:
  

  inquiry:
  

  I've become much more comfortable not beleiving anything... just making room for the possibilities... I don't live a Godless life.. but I don't exactly live a God inclusive life either... I just live....and that fear... isn't there anymore...

  That's pretty much where I'm at too. Oh sure, I have convictions about many things, but those convictions aren't "set in stone."

  seven006, when we do finally get to shoot some pool, don't be surprised if I hit you on your noggin with the cue ball! LOL How's that for having no fear?

  Life is good!

  Craig
• 

  gumby

  So why have I almost all my life been unwilling to openly investigate such issues? Was I stupid? No. Was I blinkered? Yes, to some extent. But the really fundamental emotional force working in me was fear, fear that somehow I might be jeopardizing my continued existence.

  Craig,

  I can honestly say that being raised as a dub.....that a fear of learning there may not be the God I knew, or that the Bible wasn't his word.........never came into my mind.

  When I left the Organisation 8 years ago........a fear of learning there may not be a god......never came to mind. I did the christian thing after I left the dubs.

  It wasn't untill I came to this site that I heard arguments put in ways I had never heard before or considered. People at this site.......at least many of them, had already been where I was headed and examined it, and re-searched it, and I got to read their comments about it.

  I became angry that most it seemed on the site had not only left the dubs........they left god and many seemed to mock him. I got into it with Francois and we began a long e-mail relationship about many of these things as I was to afraid to post anything. I asked him to make a post to others to prove Jesus did not exist! I was mad and NEEDED to know ......as Mulan said.

  It all started there. Farkle, and Jan, and Alan, Ginny, Norm , and all those who had great abilities in dub, and Bible knowledge, along with being great writers, were a blessing for me to have at the time.

  Anyways... my point is, it wasn't a FEAR that kept me from looking at the skeptical side of things..........it was lack of knowledge. I considered everything outside of god or the bible to be to foolish to even look at.

  I can say for me that I am grateful to now have looked at other views as my eyes were opened to many things. I still have many questions and I am open to change to believe whatever is proven to be true.

  Gumby
• 

  gumby

  bttt
• 

  Odrade

  "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." --Litany against Fear from Dune, Frank Herbert.

  Yes, I'm a bit of a Dune nut, but I actually learned a lot from it. Ironically, I was reading the series, and started to see parallels between the machinations of the ruling power and the religious orders, and the ways JWs conform and control. The pictures in the WT books and magazines started striking me in a different way. I had a period of time where I left the JWs, not on principle, just because I got caught up in other things. I came back and did the whole judicial committee thing, not because I was convinced of the rightness of it all, but out of fear--of disfellowshipping, and of death. But when I came back, things were different. My separation from that constant drip-drip-drip of mind control had been lost for a time, so I started noticing injustices, mean people, the stupid things very indoctrinated witnesses say.

  But I was still afraid because I was having these thoughts. I obviously wasn't spiritual enough. And you should have heard the excuses I made for the "brothers!" And if I started to question doctrine, I just quickly stuffed it down, because that was the worst violation against Jehovah's Organization of all!

  I think what finally happened, I stopped being so afraid. I don't think there's a God who will squash us like a bug if we don't attend the Kingdom Hall. I do still fear inflicting pain on some of our nicer family members who are worried about us, but it's not the same as fearing for my "eternal life." It's not a mind-numbing concern, just more like compassion for their feelings. I also no longer fear a witch hunt that would result in DF or DA. While I would rather fade--less familial complications--the confrontation would serve to get more fanatical members of my family to quit trying to "help" us all the time.

  One fear I have now, that I didn't before, is retirement. I spend way too much time thinking about how to make enough money for retirement (you know, now that I'm no longer a "Sooner.")

  Odrade
• 

  mizpah

  "Love casts out fear." In all your searching and researching, don't forget the most important goal of all. LOVE Humans need to love and to be loved. This is one reason, like Hooberus, that I find Christianity so appealing and true. The very essence of Christian teaching is love. Other religions may touch upon the subject even as did the Old Testament. But Christ made it the central teaching of his ministry. True, not all who profess Christianity have followed Christ's example. Thus, many reject Christ because of their bad example.

  One need not fear examining other paths. But use love as a measuring stick to see if the path is a true one.
• 

  Noumenon

  'Fear God and give him glory' - that's all. No need to fear an Organisation.
• 

  Farkel

  Onacruise,

  : Was I blinkered?

  If you were, I sure hope they put that sucker away!

  NO, and I repeat NO human should ever be "blinkered" (what-ever-in-the-hell THAT means
  !)

  Farkel, who's never been "blinkered" and is proud of it!
• 

  onacruse

  gumby, thanks for bringing this bttt. It's been a busy (and very satisfying) week (and weekend), but as a result I've not been able to comment on all the excellent comments (by yourself included ) made here.

  Farkel, your focusing on "blinkered" is perhaps the best thing I can say about myself re: this topic. I was blinkered (like a horse) by my subliminal, and sometimes overt, fears. And I'm still "peeling the onion."

  It's a very long process. Just when I think I've at last "cast off" the remaining vestiges of my indoctrinated fears, suddenly something else crops up and, yet again, I'm back to struggling with issues I didn't even see in myself.

  That's why, as I said above, life is good! I'm growing again.

  Craig
• 

  Farkel

  Onacruse,

  Consider the options:

  1. Life is or can be good: go for it. When you're alive, you only have life to live.

  2. Life is miserable but my invisible friend tells me it is better later on if you make yourselves miserable now: this is great advice if you believe in invisible friends who won't even speak personally with you.)

  3. You die sooner or later and everything you did in life becomes history: that's a fact. (No invisible friends in this one, but this one is 100% reliable. Fact.)

  Which door do you choose, Craig?

  Farkel