Oh, as an addendum:
Yep, I was never Bethel material. That was clear to me in my 20's. They would've chewed me up and spit me out in a matter of days.
I was not regular pioneer material either. I only lasted 6 months.
So I would've never risen through the ranks above elder even had I really wanted to. As it was, I only made ministerial servant a couple of stints.
But as power corrupts, I can imagine that had I been able to, declared myself anointed, ended up on the GB, I might behave no different than they. Sometimes I wonder if they are more captive than anyone else and with a change of circumstances some of them would be where we are.