@ Tameria2001 after all taking care of one household is part of the service to God. Being a pioneer is no room for excuses or slackness in those areas too.
UGHHHHH Wife wants to pioneer. Our future together doesn’t look promising
by goingthruthemotions 27 Replies latest jw experiences
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tiki
What do pioneers do if there no house to house? Sit and write moronic letters that likely will never be read or dial phone numbers and leave stupid messages that will be deleted? And I gather the hourly requirement is significantly less than the olden days 100 a month.....plus 100 mags placed...7 progressive studies.....forgot the number of return visits demanded.... Whats the point?
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pistolpete
She lacks any reasoning ability and doesn't care. How could someone be smart in alot of areas be so mentally lacking in this area.
It's not really about lacking reasoning ability or "Smarts", It's about the level of indoctrination that your wife is in.
What you could do is "Pull the Headship Doctrine Card" and call it a Royal flush.
"Hon, I'm sorry, but as head of my household, I don't want you to regular pioneer"
(for what ever reason you want to make up)
(1 Corinthians 11:3) . . .But I want YOU to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God. . .
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Sigfrid Mallozzi
Most new pioneer's stop after a year; that's why they started the pioneer school. The PS screws the guilt and indoctrination up exponentially.
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stan livedeath
What do pioneers do if there no house to house? Sit and write moronic letters that likely will never be read or dial phone numbers and leave stupid messages that will be deleted? And I gather the hourly requirement is significantly less than the olden days 100 a month.....plus 100 mags placed...7 progressive studies.....forgot the number of return visits demanded.... Whats the point?
she will soon get fed up with the cart "work" too--standing around for hours being ignored by the passers-by.
just let her get on with it,..and talk to your lawyer.
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goingthruthemotions
sigfrid:
This what I am concerned about, The PS school will really screw her up. She is so clueless.
Stan:
I do need to Lawyer up.
Our boys aren't boys, older son is 21 and in college. Younger son is 16 and smart as a whip. He is over 6 ft tall and built like a man. He works out 4 hrs a day 5 days a week. I have trained both of the in MMA, so they could take care of themselves in that aspect. I don't promote violence, but if needed they will defend themselve as will I. They have both told their mom/wife that she is in a cult.
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DesirousOfChange
agree with playing the "headship" card. Just say NO! No, you're not going to piss away our money on bullshit like pioneering. If you have so much time on your hands, go get a job and help save and invest for our future -- because THE END(™) is NEVER coming!
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truth_b_known
I would recommend having a calm, rational conversation with your wife.I would start by reading her Luke 14:28-32.
28 For example, who of you wanting to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense to see if he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, he might lay its foundation but not be able to finish it, and all the onlookers would start to ridicule him, 30 saying: ‘This man started to build but was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king marching out against another king in war does not first sit down and take counsel whether he is able with 10,000 troops to stand up to the one who comes against him with 20,000? 32 If, in fact, he cannot do so, then while that one is yet far away, he sends out a body of ambassadors and sues for peace.
I would sit down at the dining table with pencil and paper. Chart a typical week Sunday through Saturday. Figure out when everything required to run the household will be completed and when you will make time for each other to maintain your relationship.
As previous posters have mentioned that there are only so many hours in a day and so many days in a week. Be sure you make it clear that you love your wife and you are not willing to sacrifice your marriage so she can spend even more time in the ministry. Compliment your wife's zeal, but also remind her that Pioneering is not scripturally required to gain everlasting life.
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StephaneLaliberte
Goingthruthemotions, I understand that this is hard for you, however, I would advise not throwing down the towel before it is time.
While JWs often say that religion is at the center of a successful mariage, it isn't the case. Love and respect is.
Your love for your spouse will help you support her in becoming the best she can be and achieving her dreams. You'll need to respect her religious beliefs in the process.
But that is a two way street. She also needs to love and respect you and your religious beliefs. We know that the WT doesn't do that, so, everytime she shows lack of love and respect for you, don't hesitate to point it out. But you need to keep the higher grounds. You need to make sure that she never feels oppressed and that she is always respected.
In the end, it is not words that win people over, it's actions. If she sees you always respect, love and honor her, she'll end up realizing that many of the JWs teachings do not do that.
Another dimension to consider: If you were once a JW and have disfellowshipped/dissociated in the past and she is still full in, than... I would advise not having kids. JWs do break apart families. If your wife manages to bring up your kids in her religion, they will be tought to ignore you once they leave the house. That to me sounds like a deal breaker.
On the other hand, if you never were a JW and the relationship you have with your (future) kids is not at risk, than, perhaps you can indeed work with love and respect. I've known many man who have been happy with their JW wives. JWs problems are not necessarily worst, they could be seen as different. You could end up with a none JWs but with different problems.
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Overrated
I Pioneered for a week. What a waste of time! Hopefully your wife will come to that conclusion once they put all those demands on her. And no help to even get those damn hours. Once the love wears out. She will want to quit. Best thing to do is just let her do it. She'll see it on her own.