Pedophile?
Or how to ensure the original poster dismisses your otherwise well thought out post. That last insult was uncalled for and completely invalid for the situation under discussion.
Over-protective parent?
by GrownMidget 61 Replies latest jw experiences
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Diogenesister
Agreed Dogone
Message to father of teenage girls - way to go to get them to hook up sneekily with someone unsuitable
Your daughters have a sex drive, get used to it
16 & 20? He spoke to her and gave her a gift (I will also say if a typical JW boy pretty naive i'm guessing) Peadophile, Really?
Good greif
I also note a lot of JW's marry folk younger than them is that because
1 limited supply of partners
2 age/looks unimportant/superficial
3 men like their jw women subservant & someone young is easier to mold
you tell me
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PlatinumFix
@Morpheus - "rather well devloped physically for her age. Someone like you would undoubtly mistake her for even a little older." - Not sure how to put this but I've got some news for you buddy, guys who are much than 20/21 might be interested if they're given half a chance especially if your daughter doesn't tell the guy how old she is. -
_Morpheus
Lol there seems to be some misconception, a perception that i dont want my daughter to grow up or put my fingers in my ears and refuse to hear that one day she will be a woman...
Nothing could be further from the truth. I want grandchildren one day... She loves kids and im quiet sure i will be a grandfather, several times over. I am teaching through example and word what a good man and father is... I want very much for her to have a fulfilling sex life, (positively wild if that makes her happy) , to be happy and content in the arms of a man she loves.
None of that changes her current age and the age of the person in the scenario poised here. Unacceptable on every level. I have posted before, just recently in fact, that i have no problem with relationships where there is a large age differance.... Provided everyone is old enough to make a reasonable decision. 13,14,15 year olds can't even drive. 16,17,18,19 and 20 year olds arnt old enough to drink legally. These arnt be all end all ages in my eyes and theres plenty of room for variation but as general a principle teenagers arnt old enough to make rational decisions and the law recognizes this.... put simply, in my view 25-35 is not a concern for me with my daughter, 15-25 is a signifigant problem. Signifigant.
As for the pedo remark.... I framed it the way i did and i stand by it. I will reiterate: at best the OP is undeveloped 21 goofball who tragically has something in common with a 15 or "maybe 16" year old girl ( something unthinkable for me at his age and most other normal 21 year old men)... At worst hes a pedophile. Im not makimg the final call on where on the spectrum he lands but threads framing the mother as "overprotective" don't give me the warm and fuzzies for him.
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Viviane
I will reiterate: at best the OP is undeveloped 21 goofball who tragically has something in common with a 15 or "maybe 16" year old girl ( something unthinkable for me at his age and most other normal 21 year old men)
The OP said he was born in the 90's, had issues to put it mildly, almost killed himself sometime after he quit going at 18, almost killed himself and had depression, then met this girl at a convention when he was 21 and is now married (still putting him in is early to mid 20's, 25 tops).
This guy has had a lot going on in his 20's, a lot of it very... off. Once again for emphasis, there is a difference between going "wow, that person is hot", especially when one of them looks older than average for their age, and wanting to pursue a relationship with a 15 year old when in your 20's. There is a wide gulf of experience, emotional and intellectual maturity. I mean, what's he going to do, help her with her math homework?
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DogGone
There is a wide gulf of experience, emotional and intellectual maturity. I mean, what's he going to do, help her with her math homework?
That made me laugh... so true.
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Simon
Do you understand that we could be talking about child molestation issues here? This can't be ok with ANYONE EVER....
The important term is "could", not "definitely are".
As I said in my first post the "maybe 16" part is most important. If it means 15 then probably something wrong, if it's 17 or more then less so.
Even if 16 then that is the legal age of consent in many countries and I don't think someone having a crush, even though it maybe misdirected, automatically means we're talking about child molestation. That's just unnecessary hyperbole IMO
I think the social structures within the JW community where 'normal' teen relationships are always wrong and discouraged might possibly lead to some having inappropriate or misplaced emotional attachments that from the outside look very bad but for the people concerned are not sinister in nature.
Slapping a child-molester label on everything isn't always helpful or justified.
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OrphanCrow
Morpheus: The final insult.... You bought her a gift. You stalked her and found out what size she wore and bought her something to wear.
I agree. That behaviour is called "grooming". What makes it even creepier is that it was an item of clothing as opposed to something less personal. A 20 something adult man buying clothing for a "maybe 16" (likely less...) year old girl? Yuck. She is a minor child regardless of how she looks.
The bottom line...
Underage is illegal. Against the law regardless of the "cultural norms" of the JW cult.
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DogGone
The bottom line.... Underage is illegal. Against the law regardless of the "cultural norms" of the JW cult.
The conversation keeps equivocating on this point. Is the issue the law, in which case you have to consider the location of the OP and whether the young lady was 16 or 15, or is the issue what is acceptable, normal, and not creepy?
I think the pertinent issue is the creepy factor. When the law is brought up, you have to be willing to accept that US law on such things as alcohol consumption, gun ownership, or the age of consent (which varies by state, anyway) is not somehow the moral yardstick for the rest of humanity. America is pretty damn important, but not THAT important.
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Viviane
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent
There, we can look it up now. Age of consent is not a fixed thing everywhere. It may well be legal where they live but carry a 5 year prison sentence over the nearest border, that's why I've not brought it up.
Morpheus and Simon both hit on the point I was hopefully making, that a 21 year old man may look at 16 year old and go "Whoa, hey now!", but to be interested in a romantic relationship with such a developmental difference, buy clothes, etc., doesn't speak well, especially combined with everything else we know about the OP.