Hello Contramundum, Nice of you to join us. I'm sorry you have to face this horrible situation. I agree with Magnum & Hadriel. Good Comments boys.. You will come to realize that yes these ones who are your friends do care about you but their loyalty is to the borg first. The safest thing to do is to keep your gob shut. I know that sounds blunt but well there you have it, the plain simple truth. They will grass on you if you say the wrong thing. Don't panic though, help is at hand. You can come on here & vent away.
Stepping out of the shadows
by contramundum 37 Replies latest jw experiences
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problemaddict 2
Welcome to the forum. Its always like reliving it when you hear what people are going through as they fade or try to leave. it flips your world upside down in a way people that haven't lived really can't grasp.
Hard to give you solid advise on your question. People vay so much in their responses. I haven't been for a couple years now, and I have 2 decade old friends just now deciding to shun me. They never put it like that of course, because they don't want to seem like a holes. Other friends know how I feel, and have stuck around. i have no interest in screwing with their faith, and they know where I stand......its like any other relationship.
My thought would be to respond....."I'm doing fantastic thanks for asking. Want to grab some ceviche saturday around lunch and throw bread at birds?" (I clearly have no idea what your saturdays look like....just spitballing.)
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contramundum
Thank you for all your supportive comments. It helps immensely to know that I'm not alone in this and there are so many of you who share the same emotions and struggles.
So far my response to peoples enquiries as to my well-being has been as positive and up beat as I can manage without seeming too over the top. I am in fact generally happy. Work and family situations are going well so I tend to speak about that rather than spiritual matters. I want my friends to realise that true happiness and success isn't dependent on abject devotion to WT .
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nowwhat?
It's amazing when you find out the religion with all the answers has more holes than Swiss cheese -
freddo
@Hi contra ... and welcome.
Keep on keeping it positive, light and fluffy.
A little story. A few months ago I just decided I didn't want to go to the meeting so I just said to my wife "Bit of a sore throat I'll have one off."
Wife: "You going to listen on the phonelink?" (She knows I never do.)
Freddo: (Laughing) "No, I'm gonna watch the telly (TV) and sit by the fire."
Wife goes to meeting.
Next day is a lovely autumn day and I decide to get up early and get some work done in the garden. I'm just getting some work gear out of my car and up drives our Service Overseer from doing early morning trolley work with a young MS sat alongside.
S.O. winds down the window, grins at me and calls out "you don't look very unwell to me" (meaning I hadn't been at the meeting).
Freddo: "Why did you think I was unwell?"
S.O. "XXXX (my wife) said you weren't feeling too good."
Freddo: (Looking puzzled) "No ... I just wanted one off so I watched the telly, had a whisky and went to bed about ten o'clock so I could start work on the garden early as it's such a glorious day."
S.O. and MS (Fixed grins and not knowing what to say.)
Freddo: "Anyway, I'd better get to it - my jobs won't do themselves! Have a good one. 'Bye."
Don't explain yourself. Ever.
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brandnew
@freddo.....thats right!!!! They act like police men on the prowl.....and you shot em with their own revolver😂😂😂😂😂 good shit. Or shall i say ....shooting!!! -
whathappened
Welcome new friend! Thanks for your brief story. -
FayeDunaway
Welcome honey. Lately it seems like only those really determined to stay ignorant are staying in!! Seeing so many first time posters. Fade very slowly, dropping one more meeting each month. They will come to expect it of you and maybe not give it a second thought if you do it right. -
TheListener
Welcome Contra. I'm glad you posted. Its great to see that people really are lurking and reading the board. I wish you the best of luck on your fade. I'm also glad your life seems to be in a good position otherwise. -
ZAPPA-ESQUE
contramundum
Just to add a 2 cents......Your post could be a ditto of my and my wife's own fade out after about the same time in - baptized in 74 and 71 And the reasons along with all the others here are almost exactly the same!
I lurked here for years too ! [Its Simons fault ! ]