A Definition of Forgiveness

StinkyPantz

1. What it is:

Moral
It is a response to an injustice (a moral wrong).
It is a turning to the "good" in the face of this wrongdoing.
Goodwill
Merciful restraint from pursuing resentment or revenge.
Generosity or offering good things such as: attention, time, remembrances on holidays.
Moral Love or contributing to the betterment of the other.
Paradoxical
It is the foregoing of resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer's actions deserve it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not deserve them.
Beyond duty
A freely chosen gift (rather than a grim obligation).
The overcoming of wrongdoing with good.

2. What it is not:

Forgetting/Denial
Time passing/ignoring the effects of the wrongdoing.
Condoning
Nothing that bad happened. It was only this one time. It won't happen again.
Excusing
The person did this because.....it wasn't really their responsibility.
Condemning
She/he deserves to know they have wronged me.
"Forgiving" with a sense of moral superiority.
Seeking Justice or Compensation
Forgiveness is not a quid pro quo deal--it doesn't demand compensation first.

3. Important Distinction:

Forgiveness: One person's moral response to another's injustice
Reconciliation: Two parties coming together in mutual respect

Uzzah

Interesting stuff.

Uzzah

editted to avoid causing further hurt feelings. It was not meant as an atack against Stinky Pants

StinkyPantz

I just can't win. . .my motives are always questioned. . . so it's gone. .

Scully

SP

It was a really good subject. I wish you hadn't deleted it.

Obviously you did learn something from reading it, otherwise you wouldn't have posted it here and shared it with the rest of us. It would have been good to talk about that, in the context of what each of us has learned about forgiveness in our own situations.

Love, Scully

onacruse

SP, I agree with Scully.

I'll try to catch you over in Yahoo.

Craig

teejay

I've found that forgiveness is one of the greatest things one human can do for another, especially when I am the one who is the one that's being forgiven.

I think of my daughter. The other day I thought she had gotten into some of my work-related stuff and was about to take the appropriate action. She likes to hang around me when I'm working at home and takes pens and stuff and scribbles her name, numbers, letters... whatever, and I thought she was writing on something she wasn't supposed to. Just before I was about to discipline her, I found that I had made a mistake. But I'd already raised my voice, asking her what she was doing.

I felt soooo bad and felt it in my heart. I told her I was sorry... that I'd made a mistake.

Hearing "it's okay, Daddy," was like music to me.

Simon

I agree with onacruse and scully, we can all learn things about forgiveness and reminders are good.

happyout

SP,

I'm sorry I missed this before you deleted it, it sounds as though it was interesting and worthy of discussion.

Don't let others so quickly move you to react, though. Just because one person (or maybe a few others, I didn't get to see the entire thread) don't understand your motivations doesn't mean the rest of us should miss out on the possible benefits of what you have to offer. And I personally feel you have offered a lot here.

I hope you will consider reposting, as I would love to read the definition you shared.

Have a great day,

Happyout

StinkyPantz

I'm gonna put this back up, but I don't want anybody reading too much into it okay? I saw flaws in myself and that is why I chose to post it. . . .

*How frequently are the honesty and integrity of a man disposed of by a smile or a shrug. How many good and generous actions have been sunk into oblivion by a distrustful look, or stamped with the imputation of bad motives, by a mysterious and seasonable whisper!

-Sterne

onacruse

((SP))

Thank you

Craig

A Definition of Forgiveness

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