What kind of drugs are these people taking?
I dunno, but by the sounds of it, they got ripped off.
Twist your mind around this.
by pseudoxristos 11 Replies latest jw friends
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Mary
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Ravyn
ring ring
"Hello?"
"uh yes I want to pray to Jehovah please?"
"ok, may I ask who is praying?"
"uh it is ME...Jehovah knows who I am."
"well, YOU can't talk to Jehovah directly, YOU are other sheep."
"ummm, ok can I leave a message with Jesus then please?"
"this is Jesus speaking, but you cannot speak to me directly either because I can only intercede for the annointed."
"well ok, then who can I speak to? Holy Spirit?"
"no, Holy Spirit is not a person, and besides Holy Spirit does not work here any longer, it was replaced by the Faithful and Discreet Slave in 1985."
"well how then can I pray? do I have to ask someone in Brooklyn to do that for me too?"
"no of course not! Your God Jehovah is always available to you, anytime you need Him! Are you active in service?"
"well I go out atleast one Saturday a month, but that's what I needed to talk to Jehovah about, you know ask for His help in improving..."
"oh sorry, if you are spiritually weak the F&DS can't even help you. might I suggest that you go out in service more often and then try again later?"
"if I do that can I leave a message for Jehovah with you then?"
"well no, you are still not of the annointed, but I tell you what you can do! you can then come under the headship of the F&DS and since I am the intercessor for them, you can leave a message--but I am afraid it won't get priority."
"well ok, so if I go out in service more often I can approach you thru the F&DS and then you can give Jehovah a message for me, what if I leave a message with one of the angels?"
"sorry--no can do, I am not the intercessor for the angels either. but if you were a Catholic you could talk to one of the saints if you knew their extension...."
"If I was Catholic? you mean to tell me JWs are not the only true religion?"
"only true religion? oh no! JWs are only one of His Answering Services! who told you they were the only ones? have you tried to leave any feedback on His website? He does read his forums just about everyday--and you might get a response a lot sooner than if you keep trying to reach Him by prayer---ok are you ready? got a pencil? here it is:
thank you for praying, pray again soon."
click
Ravyn