Describe your witness self, then describe yourself now.

by The Rebel 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  OUTLAW

  Describe your witness self, then describe yourself now.

  ..............BEFORE...............................................AFTER..
  

  .....
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  Londo111

  When I was in: high anxiety, guilt, gloom & doom, stressed and repressed.

  I’m much happier now.

  Of course, there are core qualities that I had that were positive that I still have, just unpackaged from cult indoctrination. I feel the good aspects of who I was are still there, only grown and unrestricted from growth.
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  Freeandclear

  I was trying to think how to put the before and after versions of myself but Londo111 just above me said it perfectly. I wasn't high anxiety though, but def full of guilt, gloom and doom and repressed.

  All of that is gone. I've made peace with my existential angst that I went through briefly and have no problem with the fact that I will one day die. I live each day to the fullest. And yes, I'm much much happier now.
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  minimus

  Somewhat hypocritical then and now as honest as I can be. I don't tolerate bs easily .
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  Tallon

  As a witness - suffered with anxiety, stress, always on edge and continuously on the defensive.

  Now - I like to think I'm the real me - the genuine article; 'what you see is what you get'.

  (Note: It hasn't been easy to get to where I currently am, and after many years it is still a work in progress).
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  James Mixon

  outlaw: The guy with the bottle should be before. Those were the JW parties back in

  the 70's. We didn't wear suits like that (the guy on the left), polyester my friend.LOL
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  compound complex

  Greetings, The Rebel:

  Far too many things to write out in full at this time. Most important, however, I would say I feel less entitled. Because of what I did and who I was, a great deal of attention came my way. This forum has become, for me, a level playing field. Self-importance and our so-called accomplishments mean nothing. Not to say that our fellow posters are insensitive to who we are and what we do.

  When, on a particular occasion, I was feeling down regarding my poetry as posted here on the forum, you -- The Rebel -- were the only one (I recall) that commented with kind, encouraging words.

  My point: Last night I said to heck with this 10-year total anonymity streak. I plucked up my courage and posted a photo, the one of the sad and contemplative poet. And there you, too, were with your lovely family! I instantly felt a kinship with what had been the faceless The Rebel now become a real person. As a result, I feel that I have grown -- for the better -- in less than the last 24 hours.

  THANK YOU, The Rebel!
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  jws

  Born-in, JW for about 24-25 years. Believed it. Never enjoyed it. Hated field service, talks, the lame rules. Found some wrong teachings like the literal heart held emotions (parents told me to keep quiet). But felt like I had to learn to love it so I didn't get killed at the big A. As a child, giving myself 50/50 I'd die. Didn't really follow politics, but was glad Reagan won because he was supposed to believe in the Bible more (even though he was running against a former minister - who has since proved to be such a wonderful human - if ever there was an example of being like Jesus...). I didn't like gays - same as most religious people back then.
  
  Then I read Franz's book and never wanted to return. Lots of changes and evolution of my personality. Today, I'm a single parent of a girl and boy who are pretty good kids (all done with no religion). I'm agnostic. Don't know what could be out there, but if there is a god, I'm sure it's not the god of Earth's religious texts. Politically liberal. Support gay rights. Have a few gay and many lesbian friends. I've smoked a little to fit in at work, but quit easily. I've tried drugs. I've done things Witnesses would never do. I think to prove to the world I wasn't one. In the end, I think people see me as a nice, trustworthy guy.
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  Ucantnome

  I was raised as a JW and i don't feel that i've changed much since I left. Some of the changes are probably more to do with getting older. I have less anxiety than I did.

  I've seen a few plays that I wouldn't have seen when I was a witness and done a few things that I wouldn't have done. Took a while to be able to buy my kids toys near to Christmas without having to check who was in the shop and buying an Easter egg meant wearing a disguise. Now i'm able to go to the LGBT theatre and smoke cigars with no problem. Laying on the floor drunk I was able to do when I was a Witness.
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  rebelfighter

  Rebel,

  Never a JW so I really cannot answer your thread but you said:

  "many a pathetic alcoholic, but when I got to really know them, wow they rate up their with the finest people I have known."

  Never a truer statement said, my mother without the alcohol was one of the top florist designers in Washington DC written up in all the magazines. She was sweet and kind to everyone in the community if it meant promoting her career but the minute she walked in the house she started drinking and became the most evil person on the face of the earth. She also knew every gay power house manager in town all the 5 star hotel managers, largest jewelry store owners or managers, top hair stylist and the list goes on. Every night they would put away some serious amount of alcohol. Before I was 16 LOL I am sure I could have qualified for bartender job because there was very few drinks I did not know how to make.