Ten things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,' ... and see what happens.
5. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
6. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.' and last but not least,
10. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly ... 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!