Judging by some forum comments and tweets, it seems like some female exJW's feel they are being ignored or excluded from things. I thought I'd share my views. This can only go well, right? What could possibly go wrong ...
First, I think it's unfair to post and judge people based on a private chat shared without permission and posted without context. When we talk privately, we don't intend our words to have a wider audience and so are less guarded in our speech and less careful with our language. We may use shortcuts, sometimes based on previous communication with the people involved, such that someone coming to the messages without that context could easily get the wrong impression ... especially if they were keen to get the wrong impression.
Takeaway: Don't share private communication in an attempt to embarrass or ruin someone's reputation unless it's something truly egregious and obvious.
Stop imagining that every male exJW is an ex-elder. Yea, I'm a white male exJW but no, I was not an elder, never had any power or position in the religion and never wanted any. I was treated badly by the elders just like you, so stop trying to lump me in with them. I think our hall was fairly average - we had about 100-120 publishers so say 50-60 males. Of those, about 6 were elders and were elders for years or decades.
Basically, the number of males who are ever elders is a small percentage. Stop trying to make out that certain behaviour is todo with being a white male ex-elder when it's only to do with the "elder" part. Don't label people based on innate characteristics and call them evil and then expect them to be friendly and welcoming, and not think you're nuts.
Likewise, we can do without the "I've been counselled" crap if we take part in a discussion and happen to disagree. That's what discussion is all about, having different viewpoints. Again, don't complain about not being included if, when you are, you turn round and kick us in the balls.
No one owes you anything, just like you don't owe us anything. If you don't like that someone else has been invited on a panel, boo hoo. You're on the internet - make your own video, invite someone else who you want to talk to and hear from. There are no gatekeepers holding you back.
You may not realize this but as a man, interacting with women anywhere for anything has always been a bit of a minefield and in 2022 things are getting worse, not better. Sometimes, it's just easier and safer not to. So please factor that in before you start judging and labelling people - some of us have had run-ins with what I call "crazy bitches" and so we think twice before reaching out. It's far easier and less problematic to message another guy online than a female. That's just the world we live in. So maybe you were excluded but not because of you.
If someone genuinely is being misogynistic then of course you should call them out and I'll stand shoulder to shoulder with you if you do ... and if they were. But if you ring the fire alarm I expect there to be a fire, or at least meaningful smoke. If you expect me to strain to maybe see that something could be taken a certain way if you read it with a certain interpretation, I'm not going to be impressed and I'm not going to care.
IMO it's pretty simple. There were those in power who treated others badly. Don't be so quick to "tilt at windmills". The vast majority of us were never elders, and even many that were, who left, did so because they were good guys who followed their conscience to do the right thing.
There were high-and-mighty elder types of course, who desired and sought prominence and power and then misused it. I understand as much as anyone how the thought of them makes you feel angry. All the feelings come back and we want to set things straight. But save it for them, they are easy to identify. Don't see every male exJW as a stand-in for them.
By now, I expect there is a mob forming and grabbing torches and pitchforks ... I'm kidding, women never know where tools are kept (boom-tish), but c'mon, we're not your enemy and we're all stronger together.
If you genuinely believe that you're being excluded from some channel and would like to be included, why not ask them nicely rather than attacking and calling names and launching into accusations?
"Hey, I loved that last video you did but did you ever think you may be missing out on a larger audience? I think there are probably be lots of women like me who would like to see some women included on the panel next time. I'd be happy to volunteer or can suggest some good people you could ask if you're interested?"
I doubt anyone would respond to something like that with "sorry, no chicks" ...
I'm sure I've offended many, but I'm trying to help even if it's just to start a discussion to clear the air.