Grandpa died, they didn't say anything

by Sir cid fatos 13 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Sir cid fatos

  Hey guys

  My grandpa died recently, for a reason i told my JW friends about it. And they LITERALLY didn't say anything about it at moved on to another subject like nothing happened. I didn't expect to say something from the quran or whatever book, just some stay strong or something and even that they didn't tell me.

  
  

  Why are they so rude sometimes?

  Thanks!!
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  cappytan

  They're not rude on purpose. They're socially awkward. They don't know how to interact with people outside of their comfort zone. It really is sad. It's what the religion has done to them.
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  Xanthippe

  I'm very sorry you lost your grandpa. JWs can be very strange about death because they believe that the dead will be resurrected to the earth. Almost as if they shouldn't grieve at all as if that is showing a lack of faith. It's not healthy is it? Loss is always painful and should be acknowledged, no matter what we believe. Take care at this difficult time.
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  Sir cid fatos

  Xanthippe

  Thanks bro it does mean a lot to me :)... You are absolutely right about that, it's a part of life and we need to talk about those feelings. lil question, are these guys on here mostly JW or not?
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  Sir cid fatos

  cappytan

  Haha really? Indeed they are a litlle bit weird, but in overal very nice guys    
  
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  Xanthippe

  Yes there are some JWs on here but there are many people who used to be JWs but who have left the religion after researching it.
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  steve2

  In terms of what's worse, they either say absolutely nothing when they hear a non-JW relative has died or immediately thump chapter and verse about not being like those who the world who give way to grieving betraying a lack of faith.

  Anything other than a heartfelt, empathic human response. Fundamentalists are like that.  
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  20years_to_get_free

  Grief is something we were taught not to acknowledge.  We were taught that expressions of grief show lack of faith.  Normal grieving processes are interrupted by JW teachings.  I still struggle with this after 20 years out in the real world.

  I'm so sorry you lost your grandfather.  My gram died 4 years ago next month and I still cry for her.
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  Separation of Powers

  Sorry about your grandfather.  Many JWs are so shallow that any attempt at compassion comes across far from authentic and heartfelt.  Their funeral services are a joke.  They literally dehumanize the deceased due to their desire to ensure that any recollection of the person is put in the background so that they can use the time to market their belief in a resurrection.  So, imagine going to funeral talk after talk where the deceased is only remembered cause he came to meeting regularly and went out in service, a REAL FAITHFUL JW, but not once do they speak of their hopes, aspirations, accomplishments.  The person ceases to be a person.  He is a drone like every other witness.  So, when someone dies....
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  JWdaughter

  I'm sorry about your grampa. For most of us, grandparents are very important and valued people in our lives that help form us. It's a BIG loss, no matter what you think will be in the hereafter, in the here and now, we miss the people we love when they pass away.

  When you love someone a lot and others can't even give a smidgen of kindness about their passing, it says something about them. That kind of insensitivity seems to indicate a lack of any real intimacy or friendship. OTOH, they may be just socially terribly awkward. Bring it up and see if they can respond with any warmth and think about how good of friends that they truly are/are not.