I mean, I don't want to be miserable or anything, but what's the bloody point of it all?
Since I left the watchtower cult, I have come to realise that god cannot possibly exist...and if a god exists...god is indifferent to humankind as the least.
In 100 years time I'll be gone. Kaput. No memory. Not even sleeping. I won't be in heaven or living on in any way what so ever. All my hopes and dreams will have gone. No one will remember me, probably not even know my name.
If I do anything good for the benefit of those that come after me, they'll die too. Eventually, I see the human race as becoming extinct one way or another.
Since leaving the watchtower (and I'll never go back), I am living hand to mouth, day to day with nothing to hope for.
I couldn't commit suicide (although, I've tried before), I don't wanna die.................what's the bloody point to anything? It's all so futile. Transient. Always ends in tears.
I could be driving along and get hit by a lorry: die in agony and that's the end.
I did prefer believing in a magical being that would kiss it and make it all better............sadly, no such entity really exists.