Oh happy people

zeb

What is it with meetings?. So often she comes home throws her bag down and stomps around the house. There are times it thoroughly gets me down.

+ supportive comment welcome.

looking from the outside thats how we all probably was like, 2 hours sat in an uncomfortable stuffy hall hearing the same old boring stuff week after week, year after year, the they call it a spiritual paradise!

oppostate

With my wife, if I don't go to the meeting there'll first be this silent disapproval attitude, with loud actions announcing it's time for getting ready to go to the meeting, and also quiet staring before leaving for the KH.

Then once back at home there will be more unspoken tension, loud putting away of books, and meeting clothes, and side stares that linger. All this until time passes, she has a couple glasses of merlot, or can't stand it anymore and says some personal jab needing discussion and reassurance that I love her and I'm not avoiding meetings to "hurt" her.

Trying to be the adult in a situation where one of the mates is still under the claws of a "cult" makes family life "difficult".

Witness 007

Sister Franz was wearing the SAME dress!!!!

elbib

This has been my experience too. I just ignored it.

When you know each one has his/her preferred tendencies, you can leave it as their (not your) problem, and you always enjoy a space around you.

Heaven

Hey zeb, you could ask her if something is wrong.

I remember being at my Dad's place about 6 years ago and he was unenthusiastically getting ready to go to the meeting. He looked like he actually didn't want to go. I asked him "Do the meetings make you feel good, bring you joy?" He said somewhat dejectedly "Sometimes."

I said to him "If they don't bring you joy then don't go."

He did eventually go.

Later that same year he told me "I have no idea what they are talking about anymore." I just nodded my head. Inside I was like "Yes!" I knew it was the beginning of the end for him as a JW.

Unfortunately, this was in part due to his dementia but also the rapid and nonsensical changes that were going on.

We all know they browbeat the flock. And they also bad mouth anyone who isn't a JW, including UBMs/UBF (Unbelieving Mates/Unbelieving Family). It has to wear on someone after a while.

sowhatnow

oppostate, that used to be me, I apologize for her.

for me it was because I hated going alone, sitting alone, being in the car alone, having to put on a fake smile,feeling inferior because weren't the 'model family . [ not that i cared deep inside]

then, having to 'answer' to the few random passer bys that ask, 'oh where is hubby , not feeling well?'

then I had to lie and make up excuses,

[ which after a while became complaints because it was usually overtime that kept him away.]

put up with my mothers foolish comments about it all.

[ the gossip queen of the service group who pretty much ruined our reputations ]

all the while wishing I didn't have to keep up the act of being so spiritual, while wanting to know why people didnt practice what they preached because it seemed like I was the only one who gave a crap about people.

then slowly dying as a person inside watching my kids have no friends, being judged, and my marriage being split in two directions .

shes miserable, because she feels guilty for thinking what she does. its eating her alive inside, and shes afraid to become 'inactive'. and not fit the mold. fed the lie that god will not like her, if shes not in attendance or has one self centered thought.

shes mad, that her life isnt like those fake made up experiences she hears at conventions, or reads about in the year book.

shes not happy, other wise shed come home and say, so n so invited us to dinner, or to a cook out, or so n so got that great job, bla bla bla, and shed ignore you.

isnt the big bible logic that you can 'win' your mate without a word based on your actions? her actions show that you aren't missing a thing, lol why go if your going to be made to feel like crap.

idk, if you make a choice, you either loose family member's, or loose your identity.

but gee, she yearns to be woke up. poor dear.

ToesUp

"shes mad, that her life isnt like those fake made up experiences she hears at conventions, or reads about in the year book."

sowhatnow, you are spot on on this one. Her life is not matching up to what it SHOULD be. She is not happy. NOTHING is happening, no END in sight. I do believe some, for the very first time ever, are having to realize that they will die. It's a tough pill to swallow.

LoveUniHateExams

often she comes home throws her bag down and stomps around the house - something said during the public talk or WT study might have upset your wife. Or maybe it was a comment said by a brother or sister. Or maybe your dear wife has an issue with WT doctrine or policies.

You should ask your wife what's wrong.

There are times it thoroughly gets me down - this is understandable, but if any of the above speculations are near the truth, it might be reason for you to feel a bit more upbeat.

All the best Zeb. Please let us know how it goes.

LUHE