Just wondering who on this board has a spouse that is fully in and your awake? (page 5)

Magwitch

I woke up shortly into my 20 year marriage. I went along to get along, but the more I woke up, the more self righteous, hypocritical and mind controlled he became. I probably would have gone along like this forever if it wasn't for having two daughters. Once the pressure was on them to become unbaptized publishers, the clock was ticking and it was only a matter of time before I had to break up my family for the sake of saving my girls from a cult that would have destroyed them. (FYI...They both have good university degrees and live very sweet lives today)

xjwsrock

I'm an awake elder begrudgingly still serving simply trying to play my cards right with the wife. Timing is important. My fade so far is just getting off the service committee and off the fast track to being a COBE. Can you imagine? So much for holy magic.

The wife enjoys the status of not just being a plain Jane publisher. I must admit it has it's perks - like not being messed with by elders. Elders are scared of other elders. It's weird. Unless you have a real a$$ on your hands, you can get away with a lot as an awake elder. Hard as hell to give comments or parts though. I edit out so much material, there is hardly anything left to talk about.

Anyway, the wife is full-in but I think she doubts more than she leads on. I have dumped ttatt on her a couple of times. This last episode led to a crying fit and her throwing things across the room. It's scary when you see stuff come out of your spouse that you have never seen before. The indoctrination is diabolical.

I think something broke in my wife during this last knock-down-drag-out. She hasn't been the same since. It happened a couple of months ago. I referred to accounts in the Bible as just "stories". That was too much too fast. She is actually going to the doctor for meds for anxiety this week. She is blaming other stuff, but I know it's what I have told her (ttatt) combined with the realization that my thinking isn't "coming back around to Jehovah".

Hang in there everybody. We'll survive this. We aren't the crazy ones.

freddo

@Naoscillator

That is profound. I'm gong to think long and hard about your post and work out how to apply it practically.

Thank you!

BU2B

I'm located in central ny and my wife is fully in. I don't post much anymore but I'm still here! Read some of my older threads for my story

Anders Andersen

Same here...wife still 100% in, I'm out in every way. It's much harder on her than on me...but so far so good.

fokyc

Exactly the same. My wife is fully in and my two sons.

I am totally shunned by one of my sons and his family.

My other son can't do enough for me!

I have just celebrated 4 years since my "kangaroo court".

Giordano

xjwsrock

Here is a site that may be of interest re your wife.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Jehovah%27s_Witnesses

I feel strongly that every JW should understand the history of their religion. That history formed the WTBTS and it's present policy and beliefs.

It is neutral in tone and uses a number of the society's own publications as references.

Understanding the corporate side of the WTBTS, it's history, what was believed, how Russell and Rutherford ran the organization. The disappointments particularly 1925 when the end didn't come.

That there were 3 schisms in the early 20th century.

And then there is this:

Russell "rejoiced" to find that others had reached the same conclusion on the parousia and decided their application of Adventist time prophecies — which he said he had "so long despised" — merited further examination. He met Barbour, accepted his detailed and complex arguments on prophetic chronology[21] and provided him with funds to write a book that combined their views.[13]

1

The book, Three Worlds and the Harvest of This World,[22] was published in early 1877.[23] It articulated ideas that remained the teachings of Russell's associates for the next 40 years, many of which are still embraced by Jehovah's Witnesses:

Hypnerotomachia

Hi, this is my first post here, I am fully awake and my wife is still in. We have four kids all under the age of 7, still go to most Sundays and Thursday every once in a while. I have no Jdub friends so i would leave in a heartbeat if there wasn't a chance it would backfire and my wife double down in her efforts to keep our kids in. I am waiting for the right time, and i have a possibly unrealistic hope that the org will crumble enough in the next few years so that my wife will wake up before its too late for our kids. She has family abd friends still incso its harder for her.

In-Too-Deep

I'm fully awake, but still serving as an elder. I woke up about 3 years ago. I've tried to wake up my wife but it has been a struggle. She's a born in, like me. In retrospect, I think that my tactics were too aggressive and it made her get defensive every time. There are glimmers of hope from time to time, but I can see that the organization has a strong grip on her.

We've had our fair share of fights about the topic. She's threatened to tell the other elders on me. She hasn't so far, so something must be clicking in her head.

I started out with the more anti-JW things like UN/NGO and failed prophecies. However, once you begin to think critically about the organization, you start to wonder about the bible itself. I try to share with my wife the amazing things I've learned through biblical criticism. But, she clings to her faith in God even despite knowing certain things about the organization are wrong. I've got a long road ahead of me, but seeing the responses of other elders, servants, and everyone on this thread and forum gives me hope. It's such a relief to know that others are in the same boat and going through the same types of struggles.

There's light at the end of the tunnel.

OnTheWayOut

I am very much in your situation.

I have stopped going to meetings nearly 10 years ago, having a very successful fade with no judicial reproof and no more phone calls or texts or emails from the elders.

But my wife is a fully active congregation member. I am sure she is viewed as "weak" because she will miss a meeting here and there, but she "is fully brain doogled" and will defend them illogically and automatically if any news about child abuse or issues concerning them come up.

She doesn't care to understand silly things like "overlapping generation" and believes that young people should go to college, and won't say that "they" don't want people going, but leans upon her old understandings of "education with a purpose." My wife is intelligent, but turns her brain off when it comes to Jehovah's Witnesses. All she knows is that they don't celebrate pagan holidays, they are the cleanest and most honest people on earth, they are the only ones who proclaim God's name, and Satan blinds people to the real truth by using their desire to sin or be lazy about serving God.

Since she won't research or think deeply on any doctrine, I cannot penetrate her defenses.

If you are in the SW United States, consider meeting others at Flipper's apostafest in July.

Just wondering who on this board has a spouse that is fully in and your awake?

xjwsrock

Here is a site that may be of interest re your wife.

I feel strongly that every JW should understand the history of their religion. That history formed the WTBTS and it's present policy and beliefs.

It is neutral in tone and uses a number of the society's own publications as references.

Understanding the corporate side of the WTBTS, it's history, what was believed, how Russell and Rutherford ran the organization. The disappointments particularly 1925 when the end didn't come.

That there were 3 schisms in the early 20th century.

And then there is this:

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