Only a few days ago I was entirely lost and without hope the rug was pulled out from under me

by elderess 92 Replies latest jw friends

  • elderess
    elderess

    Only a few days ago I was walking around the house in a mindless wander thinking if I needed to seek professional help. Then I got the courage to seek the comfort of complete strangers on the internet and found a world of support here on this website. Thank you Simon and whoever else has made this website possible. You might have saved a life, literally.

    Thousands upon thousands of hurt souls out there. So much pain and suffering caused by the very same religion that claims to have the answers to all of the pain and suffering! Maybe this was God’s answer to my prayer?

    I did not find angry, violent, mouth breathing apostates but rather truly sincere, hurt and depressed souls like myself that just needed to come to terms with their new found discovery about their religion. I am blown away. I’m still shaking.

    Last night, only a few hours ago actually, I got the strength to speak to my husband. I wanted to wait for the right moment to approach him so I waited until we were both in bed. He usually reads the Bible or his favorite Star Wars website.

    I nonchalantly asked him if we could talk about something. I then very plainly told him I do not believe the overlapping generations teaching is correct and that after considering what the Bible says about not adding to what the scriptures say, it is clear that the overlapping generations teaching is nothing but a ploy to buy time for yet another failed prediction.

    Instead of lashing out at me and telling me I am spiritually weak, he put his glasses down, took a deep breath and told me he knows that I no longer believe it and that he has been having serious reservations about it himself! I burst out into tears and he leaned over and kissed my head. We held one another as we both cried together. I am still crying as I type this.

    I have never seen my husband so emotional before. The last time I can remember him crying was after his brother died. This time was different. What an emotional night. He told me he still believes in God and that the Bible is God’s word but he does not believe that we have the truth or the only truth.

    I still am shaking from his words. I thought I would need to tell him about the video and email that a sister sent me that woke me up but he was already ahead of me. He has been having doubts for years but we are neck deep in the truth along with our whole family and our lives. This is all we know or ever knew.

    The emotions I am still feeling cannot be expressed. I never thought it would go like this and was expecting the worst from my husband and yet here he is expressing to me that he no longer believes it.

    We stayed up the whole night talking about everything. Sleep was not necessary because our bodies are running on emotion and joy and hope and peace.

    The hardest part was discussing what to do next. He said the best way for us to go out is quietly and slowly, not to disrupt anyone in their faith. He will simply explain that he has health problems and can no longer serve. Then over a few months slowly fade away. We literally have not one soul to tell about this except for you anonymous strangers in the night. Neither of us have any friends outside the Witness world. Not one. Sad isn’t it? Our entire family is in it including our children and my son serves as a servant in NJ.

    This will be difficult but absolutely necessary for our own spiritual health. Who can go out and preach with a good conscience if you do not truly believe or know that what you are preaching is nothing but interpretations of men who have admitted that they are not God’s only spokesmen? You can’t. Not if you are a good human.

    It seems like the very topics that so many of you poor souls left for, are the common denominator others face and my husband sounded as if he was reading JWFacts but assured me he never even heard of it! He came to these conclusions on his own and after being an elder for so many years, you see that Jehovah’s hand is not really guiding anything. He opened up to me about his regrets and the way he has dealt with brothers and sisters who simply needed a shoulder to lean on but instead got disciplined.

    Look how fast my life has changed in a matter of weeks! It went from living in a fog of bliss to receiving an email from a sister I never knew before that assembly to coming here to find comfort to discovering my own husband, who I never thought would be shaken out, has had lingering doubts for years even.

    That is life. Sometimes it really sneaks up on you. My life might have been saved by coming here because I literally had nowhere to turn. Now I realize that thousands upon thousands of hurt and depressed souls are out there just like me.

    Now my husband and I want to move on with our lives. We’re going to go to Vegas and play poker and have fun. We’re going to get involved in charity, the real kinds of charity that really help people. We’re going to get involved in politics and play a role in helping others. We’re going to celebrate our birthdays and perhaps celebrate Christmas and other holidays. We’re going to become active helping others get out from this religion. We’re going to tear up our blood cards and attorney of power bloodless surgery papers. We’re going to do more together as husband and wife and enjoy life together.

    My only prayers now will be that my children wake up so we can be united as a family free of man made indoctrination.

    I will be back often I hope to update you on what is going on. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

  • OneEyedJoe
    OneEyedJoe

    That's amazing! It's always great to hear another success story of a couple beating this cult. It's destroyed so many families that a victory like this is really something special. The whole world is open to you! Have fun exploring the possibilities!

    How old are your children? If they're still young I'm sure they'll come out of this just fine. Kids are resilient.

  • freemindfade
    freemindfade
    We stayed up the whole night talking about everything. Sleep was not necessary because our bodies are running on emotion and joy and hope and peace.

    This is so awesome! I am very happy you two can face all this together and not divided.

  • No Longer a JW Brother
    No Longer a JW Brother
    Damn you almost made a grown ass man cry reading that. Peace.
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon
    Wow!! So happy for you both. It's rare when both Husband and wife wake up together.
  • ThomasCovenant
    ThomasCovenant
    Thank you for telling and best wishes to you both.
  • stephanie61092
    stephanie61092

    Ohmygosh!! I am so happy for you! And I admire your courage so much. I remember when I told my DFed boyfriend that I didn't believe any more, that I wanted to get reinstated and fade. I was so nervous and scared. When he told me he respected my decision, I was at peace. I was even more elated when a few weeks later he told me he thinks it's all a bunch of BS. I can only, only imagine how you must have felt telling your elder husband. So I can also only imagine the joy you've conveyed in your post. I am so happy for you and I hope you enjoy your time in vegas!! I go there quite often and always enjoy the little street shows on Fremont Street (the old strip). Again, enjoy!!!!

  • sissyb
    sissyb
    I am so happy for you! When I read that your husband had already woken up, I literally got the shivers! Wait til you see how fantastic life can be away from the Borg!
  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    Wow, that is fantastic. You know you stated you had no friends outside of JW. Yes you do, you are married to him. What a wonderful man. He probably has had doubts for quite a while but was afraid of your response and you were both going through the emotions but afraid to approach the other mate. You took a chance and it paid off well.

    Be careful how much you tell others. In fact, don't tell anyone anything. You will be surprised who will throw you under the bus. If you have to vent, vent to your husband or come on here. Trust no one who knows you.

    We would love to get our families out of this cult but we have come to realize that it just won't happen. Some are one the fringes and others are uber as hell. We can't always control what others do. We still love our family dearly but we have been realistic in our thoughts on them leaving. We have told them nothing. We just don't trust anyone anymore. We have one another and that is enough. Our children were young enough to get them out and our oldest child know it was a sham of a religion before we left. Smart kid.

    You will be hitting some bumpy roads ahead but it is worth the freedom. We have enjoyed our lives like never before. Just remember, keep your mouth in check. Once you reveal things to most, they believe they are doing you a favor and go talk to the elders. Don't give others the control over you and if they try to take the wheel, don't let them. YOU are in control.

    Keep us posted on your progress. Enjoy life...it's short!

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    Elderess,

    I am very happy for you! What I love about all of the folks on JWD is the ability to talk about our fears, our dashed dreams, our anger, and facing our mortality ( I wasn't supposed to finish high school 53 years ago) without the fear of being hauled to the back room at the KH, or hearing "we would like to stop by after the meeting Sunday," or being looked as being fringe witnesses. Once you cross that bridge there is no turning back to how it used to be. Hang in there.

    Sour Grapes

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