Only a few days ago I was walking around the house in a mindless wander thinking if I needed to seek professional help. Then I got the courage to seek the comfort of complete strangers on the internet and found a world of support here on this website. Thank you Simon and whoever else has made this website possible. You might have saved a life, literally.
Thousands upon thousands of hurt souls out there. So much pain and suffering caused by the very same religion that claims to have the answers to all of the pain and suffering! Maybe this was God’s answer to my prayer?
I did not find angry, violent, mouth breathing apostates but rather truly sincere, hurt and depressed souls like myself that just needed to come to terms with their new found discovery about their religion. I am blown away. I’m still shaking.
Last night, only a few hours ago actually, I got the strength to speak to my husband. I wanted to wait for the right moment to approach him so I waited until we were both in bed. He usually reads the Bible or his favorite Star Wars website.
I nonchalantly asked him if we could talk about something. I then very plainly told him I do not believe the overlapping generations teaching is correct and that after considering what the Bible says about not adding to what the scriptures say, it is clear that the overlapping generations teaching is nothing but a ploy to buy time for yet another failed prediction.
Instead of lashing out at me and telling me I am spiritually weak, he put his glasses down, took a deep breath and told me he knows that I no longer believe it and that he has been having serious reservations about it himself! I burst out into tears and he leaned over and kissed my head. We held one another as we both cried together. I am still crying as I type this.
I have never seen my husband so emotional before. The last time I can remember him crying was after his brother died. This time was different. What an emotional night. He told me he still believes in God and that the Bible is God’s word but he does not believe that we have the truth or the only truth.
I still am shaking from his words. I thought I would need to tell him about the video and email that a sister sent me that woke me up but he was already ahead of me. He has been having doubts for years but we are neck deep in the truth along with our whole family and our lives. This is all we know or ever knew.
The emotions I am still feeling cannot be expressed. I never thought it would go like this and was expecting the worst from my husband and yet here he is expressing to me that he no longer believes it.
We stayed up the whole night talking about everything. Sleep was not necessary because our bodies are running on emotion and joy and hope and peace.
The hardest part was discussing what to do next. He said the best way for us to go out is quietly and slowly, not to disrupt anyone in their faith. He will simply explain that he has health problems and can no longer serve. Then over a few months slowly fade away. We literally have not one soul to tell about this except for you anonymous strangers in the night. Neither of us have any friends outside the Witness world. Not one. Sad isn’t it? Our entire family is in it including our children and my son serves as a servant in NJ.
This will be difficult but absolutely necessary for our own spiritual health. Who can go out and preach with a good conscience if you do not truly believe or know that what you are preaching is nothing but interpretations of men who have admitted that they are not God’s only spokesmen? You can’t. Not if you are a good human.
It seems like the very topics that so many of you poor souls left for, are the common denominator others face and my husband sounded as if he was reading JWFacts but assured me he never even heard of it! He came to these conclusions on his own and after being an elder for so many years, you see that Jehovah’s hand is not really guiding anything. He opened up to me about his regrets and the way he has dealt with brothers and sisters who simply needed a shoulder to lean on but instead got disciplined.
Look how fast my life has changed in a matter of weeks! It went from living in a fog of bliss to receiving an email from a sister I never knew before that assembly to coming here to find comfort to discovering my own husband, who I never thought would be shaken out, has had lingering doubts for years even.
That is life. Sometimes it really sneaks up on you. My life might have been saved by coming here because I literally had nowhere to turn. Now I realize that thousands upon thousands of hurt and depressed souls are out there just like me.
Now my husband and I want to move on with our lives. We’re going to go to Vegas and play poker and have fun. We’re going to get involved in charity, the real kinds of charity that really help people. We’re going to get involved in politics and play a role in helping others. We’re going to celebrate our birthdays and perhaps celebrate Christmas and other holidays. We’re going to become active helping others get out from this religion. We’re going to tear up our blood cards and attorney of power bloodless surgery papers. We’re going to do more together as husband and wife and enjoy life together.
My only prayers now will be that my children wake up so we can be united as a family free of man made indoctrination.
I will be back often I hope to update you on what is going on. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.