Watchtower Society's progression of Pirate Black Beard after his resurrection

by RULES & REGULATIONS 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • RULES & REGULATIONS
    RULES & REGULATIONS

    Good News From God!

    LESSON 6

    What Hope Is There for the Dead?

    4. Who will return to life?

    Many millions of people who are dead in the grave will return to life on earth. Even some who did not know God and who practiced bad things will be resurrected.​—Read Luke 23:43; Acts 24:15.

    Resurrected ones will be able to learn the truth about God and to exercise faith in Jesus by obeying him. (Revelation 20:11-13) Those who return to life and do good things will be able to enjoy life forever on earth.​—Read John 5:28, 29.


    Here is the Watchtower Society's progression of Pirate Black Beard after his resurrection. He is welcomed to ''paradise earth'' after hundreds of years sleeping in his tomb. Black Beard managed to shave his beard before his death, but somehow decided his long sideburns would stay.

    He now has a Bible study to learn about God. ( He refuses to shave his sideburns)

    Now, he is telling his whales and tales of his history of high seas adventures of looting, pillaging and burning of villages to Armaggedon survivors. ( He refuses to shave his sideburns )

    Now, the former Black Beard is shown welcoming new resurrection survivors and teaching the truth about God. ( He finally understands about long sideburns, and how they stumble new members and decides to shave them off )


  • janusfulcrum
    janusfulcrum

    Also had to ditch the puffy pirate shirt for a standard issue polo shirt. He's now telling the China man neru jackets and little caps are from Satan. To be a foollower (sic) everyone has to look the same.

  • RULES & REGULATIONS
    RULES & REGULATIONS
    He's now telling the China man neru jackets and little caps are from Satan. To be a foollower (sic) everyone has to look the same.

    LOL! I didn't pay attention to the last drawing, but ''unity'' in the ''new system'' must prevail!

  • zooooooo
    zooooooo

    As there is no time in death this happened instantaneously. There was no break, he died and was still there, but in paradise.

  • wozza
    wozza

    Maybe these captions could be used in conjunction with the pictures to understand what the great white Americans mean.

    Pic 1 : Sailor

    Where am I ,Who are you ,you are so clean shaven ?

    Brown Man

    You have been brought back from the dead into a paradise earth. I belonged to an American white man's religion and one day I hope to be perfectly white too!

    Pic 2 : Sailor

    Why do you not wear a tie ? I have mine on.

    Brown Man

    Well here in the literature it says that God will open New Scrolls ,and they say we do not wear ties anymore ,but we must shave to get saved at the end of 1000 years.

    Pic 3 :Sailor

    Well we would sail the world looking for the illusive "Gillette" ,but now in Paradise we are blessed with the white mans "Gillette" and God says this is good!

    Pic 4 : Sailor

    And now I have "Gillette" and follow in the footsteps of the governing body ,you too can become more white like me ,I mean ,you have little facial hair so you need to focus more on your skin colour.

    Former Asian Man

    Seems Paradise is more of the same ,white man telling everybody there is something wrong with them!

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    janusfulcrum5 hours ago

    Also had to ditch the puffy pirate shirt for a standard issue polo shirt. He's now telling the China man neru jackets and little caps are from Satan. To be a foollower (sic) everyone has to look the same.

    foollower--LOL--nice one !

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    He's wearing a robinson crusoe cap.

  • Overrated
    Overrated

    In the next publication they will have Richard Ramirez The Night Stalker. Stay tuned!

  • EverApostate
    EverApostate

    For those who still believe in the resurrection.

    Once dead, there is nothing that gets back to life. Nature has been teaching this for billions of years.

    The Biblical resurrection accounts are pure religious propaganda lies. The Bible itself proves it to be lying. How?

    ICor 15:42: So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised up in in corruption.

    If that is so, then Lazarus was resurrected without Corruption (Without Sin) and a person without sin is perfect and should be living eternally. Why did he die again ?

    Hebrews 9: 27 and as it is reserved for men to die once for all time, but after this a judgment

    As per above, death is only once for mankind. But why did the resurrected people of the Bible die again?

  • Steel
    Steel

    Maybe him and the guards who were gassing children all day at the nazi death camps can form some kind of mixed softball league in the new paradise earth.

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